Such a lovely, honest and encouraging post sharon103. Jemimatheragdoll will be encouraged by your wise words I'm sure. usual critic will find a failing I expect
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Relationships
daughter told me she is in relationship with another girl
(61 Posts)This is my first time on here, I would like others perspectives and thoughts - my youngest child is 21 and has always had lots of platonic friends of both sexes. She is lovely, kind and happy, I have always been proud of her and we have always been very close. Me and her father have not been together for many years, he was abusive to all of us, she does not have a relationship with him. She has lots of close male platonic friends but never to my knowledge had a boyfriend. In the past year she has been close to a girl on her course at university who I like a lot, they have a lot in common. It had crossed my mind a few times that they were together as a couple but never said anything like that, I have never been one for prying in to the lives of my children, I think they will tell me in their own time if there is anything to tell me. The other day (on a video call, she is at uni a way from home, we talk every day) she told me there was something she wanted to tell me. I asked her if she was OK and she said yes there was nothing wrong, she was happy. I said it sounded like something was important to tell me but it seemed difficult to tell me. I told her that it could be something I already knew and then she told me she is in a relationship with this girl. I said are you happy, she said yes and I said that if she is happy, that is all I want, I told her I love her, am proud of her and the girl in question is lovely, I like the way she fits in when she comes to stay at our house with her. I cant say it is a shock, also, I know that young people are more and more able to make choices about who they have relationships with. I do feel something, not sure exactly what it is but I think it is that when she was a baby I enjoyed her so much, I loved being a mother and there is some sadness that she may never know that feeling. I know that is all my stuff but still its there although I would never tell her that. I know lots of women have relationships with other women these days and then also go on to have relationships with men which perhaps something that is in the back of my head and I should not think that way, this is all about her choice, and her life. Would appreciate thoughts from anyone who has had a similar experience please. Thanks in advance.
My youngest daughter is gay. She has had one long term relationship but they broke up several years ago. I treated her like a second daughter but was not blind to the fact she was quite selfish and my daughter did all the compromising. Since then she hasn’t found someone else and at nearly 40 she probably won’t have a child but she is a fabulous auntie and very involved with her nieces. She still has a happy life and if she did have a new relationship it is just as easy for same sex couples to have children now which is great.
Jemima , all will be well - child or not!
If there is one good thing about life now it is that people can be open about being in same sex relationships, marry and also have children. When my children were growing up I worried that they might be gay but only because they might not be happy. If any of my grandchildren were gay I wouldn’t fear for their happiness at all now.
Clearly implied that mum hopes this is a 'phase' and that she will return to 'normality' in the future .
Quite wrongly interpreted Fleurpepper there is absolutely nothing in Jemimas post to indicate this… you ve just made that up and you need to re evaluate your answer and apologise because that’s a nasty response
Shelflife
Jemima , all will be well - child or not!
Why have you revived this thread from
Nov 2022.
What a great mother you are! Firstly your daughter feels comfortable telling you and even before that bringing her partner home. Secondly when she told you , you were open minded, supportive and loving. Not all parents would be so accepting.... she's lucky!
There is no reason why she can't have a child. Many same sex relationships have children, biological to one parent. However your daughter might not want children.
But, yes ,you need to feel the feelings that come up. It's one thing wondering and another when things are out in the open and certain. Also your daughter might be in a lesbian relationship just now but she might be bisexual and go on to have a heterosexual relationship but that still doesn't guarantee children.
They say the parent is as happy as the child. Be happy now and let your daughters life unfold as it will.
Hi Jemimatheragdoll,
How lovely that you speak to your daughter daily, that is a rare thing once they go off to Uni...
Most parents want the best for their children and oft fail to see that the best for parents isn't necessarily the best for their children... Firstly I believe its important to say that people have always felt what they feel today in days gone by, I cringe when folk say 'Its a different world' in relation to peoples feelings, sexual orientation included, because its all about feelings and its worth noting that its only in very recent years that folk have been able to 'come out' with their feelings as the legality et al in many ways has been problematic... I believe in a way its not dissimilar to being a parent and admitting that at 3am with a baby screaming constantly you really regret being a mommy or daddy and want this 'monster' to just go away, whereas we can verbalise this 'freely' today and 'come out' with our feelings in a 'safer place' (of course this depends on where you live in the world)... Also your daughter can have children, if she wishes... Finally its worth noting she may choose a man in the future who knows, its her life, her choices and her health and happiness is paramount... You sound like a super mommy, she is fortunate.
I'm very happy for all of you. Bravo! Quite made my day...... Thanks.
Lemsip
It’s the eternal question 🤔
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