Awful Neighbour now I’m scared.

Of course you should contact a solicitor. Your H should have been offered legal assistance before being questioned .

Stay calm and get the best legal representation you can afford.

I've worked within the Criminal Justice system for many years and I would always suggest the support and advice of a solicitor if accused of a crime, especially anything like the charge your husband has been arrested for.
Such a horrible situation.

I'm so sorry. You poor people. Yes, as Smileless says definitely consult a solicitor and also make your husband promise to avoid her (and avoid being alone with any women)

The reason I say this is that a friend of ours once had an allegation made and it caused a lot of trouble and embarassment for him and his family. Even though it was not true, the lady in concern was mentally ill and vulnerable. He had been trying to help her.

Unfortunately if someone has past trauma or mental illness, even smiling at them could be taken the wrong way and it's best to avoid her completely.

Good advice from OnwardandUpward
It will likely come to nothing but police have a duty to respond to a complaint.
When it’s over I would move away if I were you.

OMG! Does she have the beginning of dementia? Puts you off helping anyone doesn’t it. Yes get a solicitor as soon as possible. I’m sure it will be fine.

So sorry to hear this. I realise the police have to take accusations like this seriously, and as others have said you should have a solicitor but it beggars belief if you know he is innocent
Courage suzi

My friend who had these accusations chose to move away and distance from most people. The woman making the accusations was not in any way attractive or likely for him to have been tempted by. His wife is beautiful and lovely, so it seemed very unlikely he would have strayed.

Trouble with moving is, if you are the one to go there will be gossip saying it was your fault. Also, that's your home. You might not be as happy somewhere else. It might be best to brave it out and be honest with everyone who knows you. Those who know you will know your husband will know his best intentions, that he's a helpful man- and I'm sure the mud won't stick. The court case will also go into the neighbour's background, I'm sure.

Another thing that might have happened is that after all the kindnesses over the years, she may have grown close to your husband and made a move on him which he rebuffed, causing her a painful rejection and accusations to try and hurt him. You need to ask him and find a great solicitor.

Find a solicitor asap

OnwardandUpward

"The woman making the accusations was not in any way attractive or likely for him to have been tempted by. His wife is beautiful and lovely, so it seemed very unlikely he would have strayed."

Good grief! I'm saddened to read such a misguided concept around the reasons for rape.

Your DH should have been informed of his legal right to speak to a solicitor either by phone or in person.

If the police failed to inform him of this right, he can put in a complaint.

Agree nanny007!

This is along way from reaching court. What have the police told you?

Yes your DH must get a solicitor asap.

Presumably he has been arrested but not charged?

There will not be charged until the police are sure there is a case to be heard and their enquiries will necessarily include any relevant history.

However, saying "there is a history of Mental Health and alcoholism" may or may not relevant, we cannot know unless you know she has been under the care of MH people, has a diagnosis, etc etc, nor what that diagnosis may reveal. It may be irrelevant or very relevant.

I would imagine if she has had contact with MH support they will now be involved, I do not know what a solicitor may or may not be able to find out but its essential.

Hi Suzi ,

I'm so sorry to read about your problem .
It's a Christmas that you'll never forget .

How horrible to help your neighbour for years and then to be accused of rape .

It sounds as though your neighbour has dementia .

One of my ex neighbours made my life really difficult for years and he has been diagnosed with dementia , but not necessarily .

My father has had more than six dementia tests this year and has passed them -yet he sometimes makes up unpleasant stories .

I'm thinking of and praying for you and your poor husband .

Sorry put the not necessarily in the wrong bit -your neighbour might have dementia or maybe not .
I'm thinking of my father who doesn't have dementia , but
makes up stories .
I don't know why he does it .

I would never have agreed to my husband going into a female neighbours home to help them...... not a sensible thing to do! not that I have a husband.

But over 40 years and a friendly neighbourly situation, I think it's not unusual? Help with lifting stuff or garden is not uncommon?
However as a now single woman I would not be at all comfortable with a male neighbour in my house....

It sounds like a mental illness to me. She possibly liked your husband and he was kind to her so in her mind she has concocted this. Definitely he needs a solicitor, don’t hesitate.

Esmay to feel better about himself? Some people do live in an part invented life to better live with themselves.

Lawyer up fast.

Upward
Rape is about power, not how attractive the person is

What an old-fashioned, misogynist and misguided observation

nanny007

OnwardandUpward

"The woman making the accusations was not in any way attractive or likely for him to have been tempted by. His wife is beautiful and lovely, so it seemed very unlikely he would have strayed."

Good grief! I'm saddened to read such a misguided concept around the reasons for rape.

I wasn't talking about rape. I was talking about cheating. This is because I think the lady I mentioned had made a pass at the man I mentioned , which he probably turned down and she probably felt embarassed and called rape. This is all a guess.

Unfortunately when someone is alone with someone else and there are no witnesses, anything could be claimed and it would be one person's word against the other. That's why it is best not to be on your own with someone of the opposite gender, or a minor.

Esmay

Sorry put the not necessarily in the wrong bit -your neighbour might have dementia or maybe not .
I'm thinking of my father who doesn't have dementia , but
makes up stories .
I don't know why he does it .

Yes! Often people with dementia can accuse others of things.

Even if she had PTSD from past trauma. Because she had been raped in her past it is possible he did something or wore something that triggered a memory, but the memory was jumbled.

That's difficult Esmay.

Hithere

Lawyer up fast.

Upward
Rape is about power, not how attractive the person is

What an old-fashioned, misogynist and misguided observation

Re Rape is about power, not how attractive the person is true... I suppose I didn't want to believe that someone we had thought of as a friend would be capable of raping a vulnerable woman.
I sometimes thought it probably not appropriate as he'd pop round when I was on my own. He did have plenty of opportunities to rape and he never did anything inappropriate to me. I did wonder at one point if he was looking for an opportunity to cheat, but I wasn't interested and was friends with his wife. too. I always made it very clear I was friend only.

Some men do look for opportunities to cheat, but it doesn't mean they are rapists.

I regret not telling him he was an idiot to spend time with women on their own. I think he meant well and was always doing jobs for people, but then this one lady made an allegation. It did turn out that she had a troubled past as well. I never really believed he was a rapist.

The police would have had to offer him the opportunity to have a solicitor with him when questioned.
Get a good lawyer now.

Im surprised by the number of comments about not having male neighbours visit alone. I’d only invite a neighbour in if I knew them well. That seems to be the case with the OP, years of perfectly ordinary neighbourly support. My hesitation would be getting over involved, helping someone with a drink problem. I suppose that’s where my hesitation would arise. No offence to people who are alcohol/substance dependent but it usually goes hand in hand with other problems

An old allegation from one person is not likely to go to court because of lack of evidence, and if the woman concerned is mentally ill, police questioning will expose untruths.

That does not diminish the upset and stress until it is resolved, a solicitor should have been present before any questioning.

Helping others, if your man is helping another woman check her out yourself, if you are uncomfortable then warn him or stop him.