Desperate for advice please ..

It’s not you it’s me

I don't think I'd say that, it's too kind, putting the blame back on herself - it is him.
He sounds obsessive.

Do not say anything that can be negated by things such as "in future I will..." or "I won't do x again"

Don't give him reasons that can be got-round or he will "reason" out of it!
Say I feel this isn't right for me or I feel I like to live on my own or I feel not ready for a relationship or Ifeel I want something very different...

YOU are the one that knows how you feel. He can't say you're wrong and if he asks "why?" you don't need to know.

Good luck.

Lots of red flags here.
Not a relationship that’s going to bring you joy and happiness in the long term. Steer clear!

A lot of good advice here, all saying the end it. You say he phones daily, but you don't have to answer the phone every day, just ignore it one day, though he will probably keep ringing, or maybe turn your phone off and have a break. Tell him you are going to stay with friends for a week and you will phone him if you can. During this "break" (you don't have to go away), just see how you feel about him, you will either miss him or feel relieved he is not there, then you have your answer

Red flags all over the place. He's looking for someone to run about after him, then a nurse maid usually.

When making a friend of a man I am always up front and say I m not looking for a relationship ( if it changes that’s fine ) but at least you have not led them on
I think I d use one of his phone calls to say it been good seeing you but it’s not for me then you wish him good luck and leave it at that He may try again but keep to want you feel is right

you only met him six weeks ago?

what are you doing having him over so much in such a short space of time.

So have you been able to decide, DeeDe?

Thanks everyone
Sorted told him outright, he wanted to just be friends I said no I want my own space and freedom, wished him well and said goodbye.. should he phone I won’t answer
I will think twice in future
Thanks again everyone xx

Run for the hills!
Just say firmly this is too much too soon and you don’t want to be rushed.
Stop asking him round or be out/busy/have a friend in - don’t be a doormat.

Well done, DeeDe

Don't waver, we're here if you do!

And its a big big well done, Deede

One of the best ways of extricating yourself from a situation like this it to absent yourself physically. Do you have a friend or family member you could go and stay with for a week? If so tell him you are going for a fortnight or even longer.

When you return try to "do distance" and cut his visits down ot let him know you have things going on and its not convenient.

I believe its called "ghosting" but you gradually withdraw yourself, dont issue invitiations or return calls and texts.

He will soon find someone else to get his claws into.

Ghosting is quite unkind, in my book, and cowardly too. It might be kinder to be "cruel to be kind" and let him know it's not working out.

A relationship that is quickly started can quickly become monotonous if you did not found it on shared values and likes. Im sure, if he got close to you so quickly, he will find someone else.

DeeDe

Thanks everyone
Sorted told him outright, he wanted to just be friends I said no I want my own space and freedom, wished him well and said goodbye.. should he phone I won’t answer
I will think twice in future
Thanks again everyone xx

Phew!

Relieved you didn't agree to "just be friends" for the sake of letting him down gently, or easing yourself out of a difficult situation. It sounds like he doesn't have much self-awareness because most intelligent people would read between the lines and 'get the message'.

Just mark it down to one of life's 'lessons' - you won't make the same mistake again in a hurry!

I bet you're relieved now you've got it over with!

I agree with everyone who says you should meet in a public place. Simply say you no longer wish to continue your friendship-then shut up! No long explanations or reasons. Then pleasantly and politely wish him all the best and say goodbye and leave.
Do not take his calls; if They’re on your mob block his number.

Don't put things off any longer. Tell him that you obviously don't have the same attitudes to life and there is no point taking things any further.
He will then be free to find a woman who is happy to be 'little wifey'.

Run a mile!!!

DeeDe

Thanks everyone
Sorted told him outright, he wanted to just be friends I said no I want my own space and freedom, wished him well and said goodbye.. should he phone I won’t answer
I will think twice in future
Thanks again everyone xx

DeeDe has told him!

Well done DeeDe 🙂

Good for you Deede. Phew!

Sorry, DeeDe, missed your post. Relieved to learn that you’ve done the sensible thing. 😊

Good to hear you have done the best thing for yourself. Kinder to the man in question too.

Can't understand the end part ... about divorce ... I have read it a few times , but can't make it out ... sorry ... seems like he wants someone to just look after him , & wait on him at his beck & call ... I may me completely wrong though ... either ignor his phone calls , also don't answer door ... harsh as it seems ... or if you feel able ... send him a text message , saying you have decided things aren't working out between you , you hate routine ( I do ) & feel like you need to pursue other things ... or whatever ... your life so don't let anyone make you feel you are doing them a favour & have to go along with their plans ... you have a gut feeling ....go with that ... all the best ... God bless

Sorry ... missed your recent post

PLEASE people read the posts
ITS ALL BEEN SETTLED NO MORE ADVICE NEEDED