I'm getting to my wits end. My husband retired mid 2019 from construction, a year or so earlier than I thought he was going to but we've made it work. I am 66, continue to work, want to work, and have no plans ot retire anytime soon. Since Covid in early 2020, they made my job full time work-from-home. I began this new career as a data analyst 10 years ago, different from what I did the last 30, and have found it to be something I'm really good at. I have excelled at it, gotten promotions, and am a project leader for our team of 15, just one step down from my manager. I am finally getting paid what I am worth. It has been very refreshing and I've enjoyed the fact it has helped us financially. The last year had it's own set of challenges as the project I've been on the last 4 years came to a head and required very long work days for many months. Things have leveled out now so I am back to 8 hour days.
I have many hobbies including 2-3 Zumba classes a week (I also got certified to teach last spring although I cannot make that time commitment right now), sewing, 'Cricuting', and I purchased a telescope after attending an astronomy class last winter term. My husband and I attend training with a personal trainer once a week and we both enjoy estate sales on the weekend.
I am also legal guardian and conservator to my 97 year old dad which takes some time itself. But since Covid, I am home all day working, my husband is home all day, and he is bored to death. We are together too much. I crave time to myself. It's just gotten to be an obsession with me. We have vacation property for camping a couple hours north of here so he may go up there for a few days every few weeks which gives me some badly needed 'me' time but when I know he's returning, a sort of 'depression' sets in. I find I am actually happier by myself being able to just do what I want. When he is here, I find myself constantly on the defense as to why I need to plan my day/week, set a schedule and am not able to just do something on the spur of the moment. I really function better on a schedule. He hates that part of my 'accounting brain', as he calls it.
Because of this project, I really haven't been able to take much vacation time. Sometimes it's harder to get job coverage than it's worth and the amount of emails/work to do when I get back just usually isn't worth it and I have no issue with this. Again, today, 'Why can't you call in sick. Let's go do something together'. No, I have work to do. I am not here to entertain him and he is usually met with the statement from me, 'It was your idea to retire'.
I have asked him to get a parttime job, although his pension does not allow him to do any construction, asked him to do volunteer work but he doesn't want to do that, etc. I'm happier at home. I have plenty to do here. Do some married people take separate vacations? I have no interest in travel and the last time we did fly somewhere, he had a downright tantrum in the Bay Area traffic. No fun. Short fuse, no patience. I plan to work until I am at least 70 and if I'm not ready to retire, I've already warned him I'm going to work as long as I want which is going to cause a big problem when I get there but trying not to dwell on the future right now.
Having been involved in my dad's care for 8 years has shown me how much it costs to go into old age. I continue to save some money but do not want to get to a place where I quit too soon and then had to go back to work. I am at a loss. I am so sad most of the time, I just want to cry. I wish he would just leave me alone. He really needs to find something to do. He is so dependent on me.
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