The division of household labour post-retirement

Yes, Mr. S. now helps out with hoovering for example, which he didn't do before he retired.

My husband actually always helped with housework, he is a bit anal about cleanliness so I let him get on with it. The one job he never likes to do though is the laundry, but seeing as he does a lot of other stuff the laundry is down to me. With the GCs he loves babysitting but isn’t so great at changing nappies. X

No it did not change post-retirement as we have always shared the household chores. If you undertook them pre-retirement it may be difficult to change how things are done if your Partner has relied on you to be the chief cook and bottle washer.

DH did a bit more of the cooking. He shared the meal planning and shopping as he had particular dietary requirements. We agreed he would do his own ironing, but then he decided his shirts didn’t need ironing after all! No housework, but he could mend anything. He did all the “ men’s work” as he put it - a standing joke, but true.

No change here I look after the house,OH does DIY ,gardening and car stuff.I like it this way,we,re a team who perform to our strengths.Why change it after almost 50 years ?I have my own way of doing things and prefer no one else in the kitchen or even making our bed.a wee bit OCD my daughter says.

No, it didn’t change at all, other than DH took over looking after and exercising his dogs. He took early retirement from a job that kept him away from home, so I always ‘did everything’ and so it continued.
He exchanged working away for most of the week to being away 3 or 4 days a week with the dogs or fishing.
I had a little army of GAMIs (get a man in) for jobs I could tackle.

It worked for us.

OH has always done his share but we tend to do the things we either like doing or do best. I like to shop and cook so he does all the clearing up and lays the table. He loads and empties the dishwasher. We share the gardening although he does the hedges, picks up the leaves and most of the heavier work. I grow the veg/greenhouse and grow the flowers. I'm lucky enough to have someone who helps me in the house but when she was off for a long time having a knee replacement we shared the cleaning. OH does all the washing and we do our own ironing. He's really helpful and if I'm away or unwell he just picks up the slack.

I think DH has always done his share. He loves cooking and is far better at it than me. Today he has made a cottage pie for tea and he made vegetable soup and soda bread for lunch. He looks after the garden, vacuums etc. I can't complain.

Our split has always been traditional, me covering anything indoors like laundry, cooking, cleaning and finances and himself doing all building, gardening and car.

Since he retired 5 years before me he added laundry and cleaning to his list along with some cooking which helped a lot.

Having been retired myself for 7 years we’ve pretty much returned full circle to tradition and they are the tasks at which each is most proficient. Win, win for us.

DH pays the gardener

I pay the cleaner

Both do what is necessary in between, although he has no idea how the washing machine works or where the iron and ironing board are…

Since he retired dh still doesn’t cook, but he invariably clears up the kitchen, loads the dishwasher, and unloads it in the morning.

More recently he’s started putting a wash on, and hanging it up.
He cuts the grass and does the edges, and anything DIY-ish.

I usually do any vacuuming, dusting, cleaning bathrooms, etc. But housework is not my favourite occupation so it gets done when I can be bothered.
And gardening (other than grass cutting) is down to me - TBH dh barely knows a daisy from a daffodil.

I do all the grocery shopping, pretty much all the food prep and cooking, he doesn't really cook apart from scrambled eggs. I clean the kitchen and utility room which are more my domain. I sort the washing, strip the beds, and make them, generally tidy up, I do my ironing and the bed linen, I'd do his, but he tells me I don't do his collars properly, whatever that means He does the gardening, sorts out anything to do with both our cars, he does his own ironing, loads the dishwasher, I don't do that properly either washes pots and pans. Hoovers, he likes it! He also cleans the bathrooms, although if my son comes for the week-end he'll clean the shower room for us cos he has more elbow grease.

Thanks, everyone! I appreciate you for taking the time to reply in such detail. I like the fact that many of you have divided the jobs according to preferences and what you're good at - seems fair!

DH has drifted into retirement very slowly. He is now 81, but still does occasional projects.

We divide tasks by what we are good at. I am a good organiser and run the hous to my satisfaction. He is a DIYer. Extend that to designing extensions, negotiatng with planning department. Joining the builder to fit the guttering himself 3 weeks after 8 weeks in hospital. He also fixes cars and mends toys. All work way beyond my capacities or skills.

He is now very limited in what he can do by health problems, while I am still fighting fit.

Since retirement DH does vacuum the house and takes the dog out more than me. He does occasionally cook his few traditional meals he grew up eating. I admit the kitchen is my domain always has been my mum was in her kitchen.
DH does potter about with tedious jobs fixing broken gadgets etc. We both know by now our limits in the house and garden bigger jobs we pay other people to do.

We mostly share chores, same as when we were working, but I do most of the cooking and Mr D does all of the gardening. He will cook for himself if I eat out, and will cook for both of us if I am not available, but we both prefer my cooking, and I am happy to do it, so I usually do.

We each do our own washing and ironing, and are lucky enough to have a cleaner who mops floors and cleans the bathroom etc, so mostly it's just if we are having someone round that we need to do a quick spit and polish, which we do between us.

I do things like wash cushion covers and throws - that wouldn't cross his mind - and I am far more particular about wiping surfaces and sinks regularly, so I do things like that when I see they need it (in practice this is every time Mr D is supposed to have cleaned the kitchen ). I water indoor plants (again, he wouldn't think about it) make sure things that need it are charged up (we have a lot of rechargeable lamps, for instance) and generally make the place look nice. He used to do all the decorating, but these days we get people in, as I'm not keen on him being up ladders and doing close work for health-related reasons.

We split admin on the basis of who sorted out a particular bill first. We keep saying we should organise that better, as there is no rhyme or reason to how it is done, but we don't get round to it. I tend to be the one who books things and keeps the calendar updated, and I do the grocery shopping. If there were a leak or burst pipe he would deal with it - I wouldn't have a clue, embarrassingly. That's something I need to find out about as we get older.

I’m the admin officer, gift buyer, social calendar arranger and general organiser. The dusting, laundry, kitchen cupboard cleaning, any sewing, gardening and meal production are mine along with the grocery shopping (mostly delivered). Mr C vacuums, changes the bed, irons sometimes (always the bedding), empties the dishwasher, does any manual washing up needed, cleans the bathroom, windows and the kitchen sink. He checks the car over and manages most small DiY jobs, if a little less each year.

We’re driven by aptitude and individual choice, nothing forced. Mr C retired before me and gradually took on more of the things I did, it seems to have stuck.

No changes here, we both play to our strengths as we have always done. DH does the shopping, cooking, ironing, bins & maintenance and I do cleaning, finances, gardening with some of the bits that DH usually does if I need to. It's worked well for over 40 yrs.

DH changes the bed as I broke my shoulder and arm on a walk. Tripped over a loose paving stone. I stick it in the washing machine quick as a flash. He doesn’t know how to work it. We share pretty much everything. I was on cooking duty today so he emptied the washing machine and put the things to dry and when I saw him struggling with the quilt I turned down the cooker and went to help. We split it 50/50 according to what we can manage.

We share everything, we don’t have a duty rota, if one doesn’t do it the other does, or it gets left, we sometimes have to scurry around if we are expecting visitors.

It works, the garden is lovely and the house is no worse than others ( better than most, no pets). It’s very easy stress free living.

May I gently recommend that couples spend time learning how to do the things normally done by their partner, or, if non-urgent, who to contact to get things done. One of you will probably become less able or die first and it will be very difficult for the other to cope if they have limited skills. This is especially important with financial matters.
Fortunately for me the things my husband was good at are now done by my son or other family or I pay a tradesman, but of course they are not immediately available. I often have to wait a few days to get a bottle or jar opened!

Many thanks for the excellent ideas and advice here. Much appreciated. Hope you're soon feeling better Catterygirl!

I clean downstairs, husband upstairs. We cook alternate weeks. He does most of the gardening, me the washing and ironing.we share the driving. It works very well

I do laundry, dishes, tidying, bedmaking. He does the cooking, garden maintenance, pays the bills. We share shopping. I think its fair but he thinks he does more.