Miserable Husband

How do you get a happier life?

Leave this selfish man who doesn't care about you or your needs.

I left my partner when I was 60 and I had thought we could stick it out.

He didn't even try to find out where I was once I had left. We communicated only to sell the house, which we owned jointly.

I gave up my lovely home, friends and community activities to move nearer to my family.

Seven years on I am happier than I have probably ever been. We were living a lie for years.

Yes, you can find a life filling your life with activities and social groups- but you still have to come back to this man who sucks your energy and motivation dry. It does work for some, but unless you want to be in tears again next Christmas you are going to have to develop some self-belief and make a life where you make your own decisions and find your own pleasures without someone else spoiling your fun.

I really wish you well and would like to think this time next year you will be in a very different place.

Roselley I'm another who would say think of yourself here, and set things in motion to move on with your life.

Do you really think you have a life with this controlling man in what sounds to me like a toxic relationship.

I lived in a similar situation with my husband for nearly all our marriage (11 years) before I finally saw sense and ended the marriage when I was 69. It's not easy but at least I don't have to walk on eggshells, or be pulled down as he 'sucks the joy' from my life any more. There are so many similarities with what you are describing in your existence with this man and the life I had. My ex had MH issues, but that didn't excuse his behaviour. He chose not to engage in treatment that was offered and was aware of how his behaviour affected his life and mine.

His final desperate act of control was the breaking point for me.

I have never regretted my decision, only the fact that I should have had the courage to act sooner.

My husband is the most grumpy, miserable, domineering old beggar, he lived all his working life Monday to Friday in Officers messes, never been faithfull. We are the same age and I still spend my life working while he sits in his reclining chair on the blessed ipad I stupidly bought him, reading all the most miserable items he can find, if he smiled at me I would faint,laughed I would fly off on my broomstick . H,e never leaves the house. I go to Guild care, the most wonderful organisation which saves my sanity, provides me with great friends, fun, entertainment and fun. Thankyou so much Guild care and your fantastic members I really couldn't go on without you xx

You sound much better blessed in the sense of humour department, Nuttynora.

I'm smiling at your description of your man.

Nuttynora - your description made me laugh - I’m going to read it again just have another laugh at the expense of your DH
🤣🤣🤣🤣

Me too.
On his ipad, reading all the most miserable items he can

Hi Roselley. I just came across your post while searching about husbands that never want to do family things. I kind of feel your struggle. Just wondering how you are doing?

As others have said 60 is too young to be miserable any longer. Firstly find a job if you don't already have one, that will give you income, a reason to be out of the house, the chance of making new friends and a new social life. This may help you decide if to stay or go. Financial independence is always helpful. Good luck what ever you do.😊

I have been with my partner for 32 years I’m 77 Xmas this year was hell always arguing my Xmas meal was a bowl of cereal and a cup of tea.
My partner is resentful because I have a sister and makes me feel uncomfortable when I visit her.
So many arguments in the past five years if I go on holiday with my sister it’s resented because she hasn’t had a holiday but doesn’t bother to suggest anything.
I want her to buy me out of the house we share it’s been agreed
she doesn’t want that but she will never change.
My sister invites her every week for dinner says she doesn’t like her.
I think we should part am I too old to do this at my age.
I retire next month I feel ill at the thought of being alone at my age.

Surely living alone couldn't be worse than living constantly on edge with arguments and resentment.
And you have your sister around who sounds like a good egg.
Now is the time to act.
Get your ducks in a row.
See a solicitor.
And as bob marley sang
quoting Marcus Garvey
Emancipate yourself from mental slavery.

No response from OP. I do hope she has taken some measures to improve things since the New Year.

I’m so sorry you’re feeling this way, especially during a time that’s meant to bring comfort and connection. It sounds like you’ve tried to be patient and understanding for a long time, and it’s heartbreaking that your efforts haven’t been met with the same care. You deserve to feel appreciated, heard, and loved—not drained. Sometimes, holding on too long to something that constantly hurts us only pulls us further away from who we truly are. Rebuilding a happier life is possible, even if it feels scary. I’ve learned through my own hard seasons (even while dealing with stressful work like coordinating Remote Deposition Services) that peace is worth fighting for. You’re not alone, and this doesn’t have to be your forever.

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Post it all on f b that ll cheer you up

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