Feeling i ve been taken for a ride

You don’t say what ages you both are, but to me it would seem he’s hedging his bets if it doesn’t work out with the Columbia lady he’s got you in abeyance. I’d let him bugger off to wherever and be wary when he tries to reconnect in the future. Sorry if thats not what you want to hear but that’s my take on it.

Thanks Tanith
I am 66 and he is 70
So you would let it go ?

In a one-word answer yes just let it go.

Reading between the lines, it sounds as if he has been quite upfront with you. You knew he was going to Columbia and while he wanted to visit you on his return, he told you straight up that he’d met someone in Columbia and would be going back to her.
Is it also possible that your source of information had read more into things re him wanting to rekindle the relationship?
Perhaps it’s his nature (like mine) to be friendly and chatty in texts and you’ve over-thought their importance?

Personally, I don’t think you’ve been taken in, on the evidence of your post. I think you were ‘keen’ to rekindle something and perhaps, he just saw you as a friend?

Please don’t be too upset or blame yourself. Just one of those things.

I agree with Tanith.

Sadly, he seemed keen to hook up with you again, but then he met young Colombian lady, who seemed a better offer, but yes, hedging his bets to fall back on you if it doesn’t work out.

24 years younger than him, so she’s 46 to his 70.

No fool like an old fool, she’s probably more interested in his wallet than him.

Wave him off, and don’t be too available to pick up the pieces.

Yes- this from Tanith and Calendargirl. Move forward, don't give him space in your head and certainly not your heart.

Thank you calendar girl
That’s what I think too ( about his wallet )

Thank you for your replies so far
Do you think I should let him know how I feel before he goes back ?

Notjustaprettyface

Thank you for your replies so far
Do you think I should let him know how I feel before he goes back ?

No.

Just wish him luck with his new lady.

He’ll need it.

Let him go.

I’m sorry if I missed that your DH had died notjustaprettyface 💐

Personally, I don’t think you’ve been taken in, on the evidence of your post. I think you were ‘keen’ to rekindle something and perhaps, he just saw you as a friend?

This is what I think.
He's excited about the potential in Columbia so just wish him well and consider him "only" a friend.

What a twit, him not you, I’m guessing he’s extremely flattered and a bit carried away by the attentions of a much younger woman.

Personally I think you deserve far better, let him go, with a hug and best wishes and if (when) Ms Colombia clears him out and dumps him, think very carefully about seeing him again.

Thank you Cosby

Sorry Cossy

Notjustaprettyface

Thank you for your replies so far
Do you think I should let him know how I feel before he goes back ?

No, definitely not.
Wish him well then shut the door.
If you let him know how you feel he could string you along.
All the best 🌺🙏🏾

Ah this hard. But hey it's his loss. Hild your head high, make sure you say a happy farewell and 'wish you well mate'. Then drop him....dont be there to help him pick up the pieces.

I don’t think you misread anything initially. I think he was keen, but he’s been swept off his feet by the interest a much younger and, no doubt a very attentive and flattering woman, is giving him.

You could say he did the honourable thing in coming straight away to tell you face to face, rather than doing the excuses and ghosting that a lot of men do in a awkward situation.

Chalk it up to experience and let it go. As he probably will have to do in a year or two’s time in Columbia!

By which time you will have moved on😁

I fear you have been taken for a ride, unfortunately Columbia has now taken over from Thailand as the place for older UK men to find a wife.

I think he was probably hedging his bets.

Here’s a link.

www.rosebrides.com/colombian-brides.html

I’m repeating more or less what Georgesgran said.

So, you hadn’t actually met up with him again before he went on his trip? But he came to see when he got back to tell you about the woman he met there. I think he’s been open and honest.

Perhaps you read more into his communications than was there.

The younger woman could just be a short term romance - I mean, they have only known one another for a month or less - unless he’d been cultivating something online and went to Colombia to meet her.

You have to be honest with yourself. You rekindled the contact hoping something would happen. He was curious but made no commitment.

The fact is that you have been involved with him before and it didn’t work out which must have been for a reason. What makes you think it would have worked second time around? Sadly, I think you have built this up into something which was never really there.

I think telling you to your face is to his credit. He was honest with you. For clarity, are we talking Colombia (South America) or Columbia (as in somewhere in the States)?

I feel he was hedging his bets too I would also think he had an inflated ego. I would not waste time on a man who clearly likes the attention of two women. Wave him goodbye and move on he sounds like an opportunist to me.

Another voice to say "let him go".

I'm not so sure as to whether to be prepared to take him back again if/when she drops him. But don't go holding out hopes for this - as he may "hang on in there" for years...

This may say something about what he's after in a woman - as I'm not familiar with the customs of that country (ie I'm assuming it's South America we're talking about here). Personally, I think it's taking some doing for British women to have it quite quite clear in their heads that a relationship should be 50/50 and many are still allowing men to treat them as "second class citizens" imo. But, on the other hand, I can see that there are many British women who are, by now, clear in their heads that they are the equals of the men they are with and must be treated that way by them (equal housework/equal decision-making etc).

Maybe (I think it likely.....) women from that country are still pretty universally expecting the man to make their joint decisions/do his share of the housework for him, as well as their own/etc and this may be what he wants at some level - ie a more subservient woman than many of us British women are by now? If so - that doesn't augur well for his attitude towards women and you'd be "fighting" him to make him accept you are an equal and you'd be better off without him anyway if you did have to "fight" for your obvious equality with him....

He sounds quite honourable to me. He has at least respected you enough to come and tell you face to face. but don't be surprised if the next text you get is saying that he has married her..
You clearly wanted a serious relationship and you are still young enough to find someone else.. but not this one...

He's been honest, so I don't know where being taken for a ride comes into it

Wave him off , wish him well and do not tell him how you feel - and most importantly don't reconnect with him on any level!! You can manage very well without him .