Relationship with my daughter.

That sounds incredibly painful, and I’m so sorry you’re feeling this way. It’s heartbreaking when the bond you thought was strong starts to feel one-sided. Please don’t be too hard on yourself, we all have regrets, but they don’t mean we’re unworthy of love or connection. Your relationship with your daughter may be going through a distant phase, but that doesn’t mean it can’t change. Maybe there’s still room for a gentle conversation or a small shared activity to reconnect. You matter, and your feelings are valid.

Is it a generation thing now? While watching Corrie last night, Sally was having a conversation with Stella. Sally said 'my daughters only contact me when they want something'. I have to admit I did identify with her to some extent!!!

MayBee, what you say applies to me except I never see mine. One thing resonates with me, I used to baby sit every week and have children for stop offers and one day out of the blue, my daughter said, don't expect me to look after you when you're old, I'm not like you. I said I don't expect you to. When I told my husband, he said she's selfish. I stuck up for her but now I think he was right.

I realised that next weekend would have been a time when I would have been needed to house/dog/child sit but now the youngest is older that is no longer necessary. Then again, I do have a mobility problem now and they probably wouldn’t ask me anyway. When I think about it I’ve been let down so many people throughout my life and it’s only in retrospect that I realised that I had done so ie hadn’t visited or picked up the phone and now it’s too late.

The best relationship I had with my mother was when I was 4000 miles away. We corresponded regularly - no mobile phones in the 1960s - and when they came out to visit me we had a most enjoyable time together. She got on well with my colleagues too. When we returned to UK for good, we made her a granny for the first time. "Distance lends enchantment to the view" has never been more true! I thoroughly recommend it.

I think a lot of times the emotional distance has an unspoken root cause. It may be worth having a heart to heart with your daughter, purely with the objective of listening without rebuttal, to get down to why there is so little time spent with you.

Yes, the lives of our adult offspring are full and busy. But it is reasonable to expect a bit more than short, surface contact with your parents every once in a while. Barring any trauma or abuse, it’s not a terrible thing to carve out a bit of time for our elderly parents when we are blessed enough to still have them.

MayBee70

And we communicate mainly via messenger which ties in with me losing my Facebook account and messenger…

Have you tried using WhatsApp?
I find it much more user-friendly than Messenger.

We have a family WhatsApp group for general chat, and I also use it for individual messages to family members as well.
It's great for sending photos, or a link to an article you think might interest someone.

MaricelaStaggs

Fighting to restore love and peace in my relationship was incredibly frustrating—until I came across a video of a woman sharing her testimony about how her marriage was restored. It gave me hope for something I never thought was possible. Now, my partner and I are happily reunited, living in love and harmony. I’m truly grateful to Priest Sims for the help he gave me and my family.
If you're struggling in your marriage or relationship, don’t give up—there’s still hope. You can reach outsupremacylovespell01 @ gmail. com ). {smile}

Reported

MayBee70

I’ve always been fiercely independent. I think I just feel sad that my kids find me so boring.

I think it's maybe possible that it's not quite the either/or you are worried about. Relationships change over time and she might have pressures right now that ouwld change and she will have more time again. We do get more vulnerable about these things when we get older, don't we? Younger people dont realise but they too grow older as we do....

When I gave birth to my son at 38 he lay next to me staring at me. I was exhausted but just couldn’t sleep with him staring at me. I guess that’s what people mean by bonding.
My husband doesn’t understand why I’m not on his back every day. I don’t need to contact him. If you love him set him free and if he loves you he will return to thee.
We are in touch daily and I just received a message congratulating me on my Spanish language revision. He’s fluent. I have no expectations about our future relationship. I think he appreciates that I set him free.

How do you manage when your adult daughter is always too busy to visit or invite you over to hers?