Fed up of being alone and a false widow

Surely you know the people at your Italian classes. If you don’t feel comfortable inviting people to your home, then arrange to meet in a pub or other public place.

Your U3A may not offer WYBIG. If may only be a local initiative but if it does exist for your local group then you would only be extending invitations to other U3A members to do things where you meet in a public place.

I’m so saddened reading some of these posts. I’m not shocked to hear about the sexual assaults though. There are some men who think this behaviour is normal.

Please don’t go out of your way and put yourself in danger to meet someone due to being lonely. A person can be lonely in a marriage or a crowded room.

Do you do crafts? Maybe start a little knitting or crochet circle in your own home?

Take care and try and stay strong. Also look after your health. Someone once said to me years ago that women heal women. X

women heal women

So we do. Our friendships light our lives and see us through man troubles, if we are fortunate.

For Heaven’s sake! While I am sympathetic to all those who have had ghastly experiences, really, why expose yourself to this nonsense, once over a certain age? I’ve been widowed 5 years, and would never consider another relationship- time left does not allow enough years to really get to know somebody, plus there is the risk of deterioration of health, both physical and mental. Yes, it’s lonely at times, and a bit sad to think you will never again have a proper snog or bedtime cuddle, but better safe than sorry!!😊

My young relative let out a room in their house to a student, all done through the university. They did the vetting process etc. It was problem free and they got on very well with the students who stayed.

Thank you purplepixie

You are more than welcome. 🤗🤗

Because I wasn't widowed after a happy marriage, but left an abusive one, and in good physical health, not ready to give up quite yet at 74: but concentrating on leading my own good life as far as possible given I have MH issues:

but this thread has been very valuable and much food for thought, and I thank you all. As regards sexuality, there are ways and means for us.

I have never been to a u3a meeting but my local u3a has a group for ‘members on their own’ for people who are single, separated, divorced and widowed.

If you like music, have a look at your local cafes and bars, see whether any of them feature live jazz night shows.

I remember once reading on Gransnet - a lady went on a Cunard cruise with her husband. Every time she went to eat on her own, she was approached by her fellow male passengers.

Not sure about internet dating, there is the risk of ‘meeting’ romance scammers.

Sorry to read about the sexual assaults. I used to work in a predominately male industry, the men I met including my former male colleagues are decent guys. However, you cannot afford to be sensitive if you work with men.

I had a discussion with my female friends once, some of them are married, some on their own, but all of them said they are not interested in pursing a new relationship now or in the future. They said at our age, we will end up either as a nurse or a purse.

My mam was widowed at the age of 61 when my dad died aged only 58. She said that he would never be replaced because he was such a lovely gentle, kind and caring gentleman. She lived until she was 99. She had joined lots of things including hospital visitor. Mam was never going to be anyone’s nurse or purse - her words. She loved closing her door and having peace of mind. Take care and please don’t rush into anything. Enjoy life and be free.

Thank you

" They said at our age, we will end up either as a nurse or a purse"

what a good way of putting it! Well I was a purse for the Abusive husband and THAT will never happen again Ince bitten.
I have no intention of being a nurse, except of course one cannot predict what will happen in life and with anyone you love and respect its "till death do us part" whatever the age, however, given the fact that most men die earlier I'm thinking someone younger than me.

I look younger than I am thanks purely to a lifetime - nearly 50 years now - of yoga and other exercise as I happen to love exercise.

But if it's real attraction and kindness and respect, it's not a rule "younger man" but part of the equation? And they might not want to take someone on who is emotionally vulnerable with some degree of MH stuff. I can be over-sensitive.

Essexgirl145

I'm 80, on my own in an independant living complex. They have a coffee morning once a week which I thought I would have a go at. I'm not good socially as I have Vitiligo (White patches on the skin} in my case autoimmune.. One of the ladies down there told me I was someone who no one wanted to be around. I was totaly crushed as we all have something in old age. She was a Quaker, I have a very dim view of these so called Religous groups. I keep my self to myself now, but I'm sure the loneliness will kill me eventually.

She sounds like a disgusting woman! How could somebody be so cruel?

Message deleted by Gransnet. Here's a link to our Talk guidelines.

Message deleted by Gransnet. Here's a link to our Talk guidelines.

REPORTED