No one to share things with

The need for a close relationship with a good friend seems to be a common thing of our time, whatever age you are. So know that you’re not alone. Life has become hectic, fast, and very ego driven. If you can find an environment that cuts through that, it would be helpful and I’m sure you’d meet more likeminded people, but it’s not easy. I think I’d firstly try to increase visits to my daughter. Could you do this without your husband, to give you some quality time with her? Or could you arrange a halfway point to meet, or have a break together? Also, maybe arrange more time (away?) with your husband. This all helps to fill the ‘gaps’ but also try to join some groups or activities and slowly get to know some new people. This is all challenging and takes time, I know, but remember that lots of other people are in the same situation.

I think one can be as lonely or more in a bad relationship: in that situation: those who have been in that situation can be more lonely as the person is, as it were, ‘there’ but essentially ‘not there’

so true Wyllow3

I live on my own.
Fortunately, I have found 2 handyman. They are not exactly cheap, but I have no choice.
One has cut back all the bushes and made my garden look tidy. The other has powewashed my drive - the outside of my house looks summer-ready !

I am fortunate that my children live within a few miles and we are in touch. I value that greatly, but they have their own lives, families and responsibilities of course. I have good friends through various activities, but there are still too many hours spent alone. We rarely meet up outside of the activities. When the weather is decent, I would like to be out, but sometimes it is easier to occupy myself at home than go out alone, where it can feel more lonely when everyone else is in couples or family groups.
I certainly wouldn’t want to live with anyone else. I am too set in my ways. I think it makes me self-centred, but that is inevitable. I would like to have closer friends to do things with. I spend a lot of time online.

oh Cabbie, not unlike me and my life,, see we are not really alone,, is it all in our minds, I am in a particularly low mood at the moment as the church that I have attended for some years has a new vicar and it is all change there also..

Reported.

Another recommendation for the U3A. I joined when I retired and belong to 4 groups (badminton, book group, scrabble, bridge) and lead two of them. There are day trips as well as holidays. It’s a brilliant organisation.

Dear Nannysue, First of all, quietly ignore your husband. I quite see where you are coming from.
Perhaps do a few small things, go out for a little walk and see what's going on locally.
I find you have to try a few things out locally and build up contacts.
It is worth working on your appearance and an exercise class can really help.
I did have a little dog and he was lovely but probably won't replace him as a commitment and vets bills are horrendous.
Work on your interests and what brings you pleasure.
You make contacts in the process.

Nanny Sue45. Possibley what you should bear in mind some people exaggerate the positive things in their lives I met someone who told the tales of her wonderful life. But when I got to know her better it was really a very different story