If you are dealing with narcissism, let’s all help each other.

Thank you Doodledog exactly this.

I have been deeply hurt by some comments here, the lack of empathy is astonishing, ironically this is a one of the many traits of a narcissist.

As you so eloquently put it yes those with lived experience are the most qualified to diagnose.

I once read somewhere: learn by heart the traits and modus operandi of a narc and when you recognise run for the hills. This could be a new work colleague, religious representative, a counsellor etc.

Sago

Narcs are real charmers, they will always have their followers who are enthralled to them and a few sceptics like yourselves Franbern and Dontcallmelove

It’s always wise to say nothing and watch, if you call out a narc they will do everything in their power to destroy you.

Oh, yes, so very true. I did warn one very lovely member of this group, who was obviously being drawn into this woman's fantasies. Actually spent one whole night with her when she got phoned late one evening by this woman saying she was in a state.
this 'Narcissitc tendency' lady has obviously now identified me as not being taken in and is spreading all sorts of nasty things about me. Fortunately, those she is saying these to are passing them on to me.
Think I really upset her recently, when I was at a local theatre with my daughter (with whom I never seem to have enough time), and this lady and hubbie sat next to us. During the interval I spent a few polite minute whilst she told me how she had been a performer at this theatre, and then spent the rest of that interval chatting to my daughter. Unforgiveable behavior!!!!

SpinDriftCoastal

I once read somewhere: learn by heart the traits and modus operandi of a narc and when you recognise run for the hills. This could be a new work colleague, religious representative, a counsellor etc.

if you are managing one though, how do you run for the hills?

It's a way of managing one - probably the easiest way - get out. Room for all options on this thread, if anyone wants support to run for the hills, here's the place to ask for support & advice.

I have not been in any close relationships with a narc, but my brother is definitely like this. He ticks all the boxes.

I have not had any contact with him for the last six years and it is totally blissful....

I no longer have to wake up to see a string of barbed text messages or possibly a long email outlining all my faults and how many people hate me.

I found out through the grapevine what he did to his estranged wife and how he treated her and that is nothing but abuse.

Also what he did financially to our mum. But she is dead so that is over and done with.

But yes, a real piece of work. I am confident that I will never talk to him or see him ever again. And it feels great.

SpinDriftCoastal

I once read somewhere: learn by heart the traits and modus operandi of a narc and when you recognise run for the hills. This could be a new work colleague, religious representative, a counsellor etc.

Agreed.

The one I know, I got myself away from eventually.

She liked to sue or threaten to sue.
Basically all to keep her illusion of always being right, intact.

Self-centred yes. Unhinged well yes.
But all taken to a whole different level.
Once you know one, you cant unknow it.