Going Dutch

I normally say let’s just pay for our own. Or else I offer.

This doesn't really happen to me because my friends and I have an understanding that we share the bill. But if my best mate said he would pay for lunch, and wouldn't let me pay something, saying I could pay for the next one, I would probably do this - the money I took with me but didn't use would be put to one side for the next time. I would them only have to find the money for his meal.

I hate it when we go out with the family as we don’t know who’s paying. Mum will sneak up to the counter & sort it out, or DB sorts it.
If I am paying, I will say meal, such & such place, date, our treat, but then when I go to pay someone in the party has picked up the tab. Up to press only managed to pay for one meal out- it just makes me feel tight.

Maybe a kitty is the answer

I must be having a thick moment. Why did your friend "stomp off" when picking up the bill?

If someone expects me to pay for their lunch I'd either do so on the understanding we taken it in turns or if you don't want to pay for them make that clear when you plan the meet up. Something along the lines of...

"Looking forward to it - let's clear up any uncertainty now and agree that we split the bill betwen us, it's so much easier that way. Although I do reserve the right to treat you on your birthday!

ferry23

I must be having a thick moment. Why did your friend "stomp off" when picking up the bill?

If someone expects me to pay for their lunch I'd either do so on the understanding we taken it in turns or if you don't want to pay for them make that clear when you plan the meet up. Something along the lines of...

"Looking forward to it - let's clear up any uncertainty now and agree that we split the bill betwen us, it's so much easier that way. Although I do reserve the right to treat you on your birthday!

👏👏👏👏👏

I agree "stomping off" what did the friend expect? you to stump up, why should anyone do that. Absolutely going Duch is reasonable. Sometimes, with friends, we'll treat each other on say a birthday, but there's no set in stone expectation about that.

I have a niece who has been on an over 50s dating site for a while and been on several dates.

A surprising number of her dates seem to keep their wallet in their other trousers/jacket or simply come out without it. The end result is of course that she ends up paying for both. This is particularly galling as it is still the man who asks for the date and he chooses the venue. Several have also been rather put out that they are not invited back to her flat afterwards.

I am not suggesting that a man should always pay for a woman but surely they should be prepared to go Dutch.

If it’s just coffee and cake we take it in turns to pay, however I have one older friend who rarely seems to remember and sits back and waits for me to pay.
I allow this now and again but say firmly ‘it’s your turn to pay’ sometimes as I think she genuinely forgets.
If it’s a meal out we pay our own bill.

Us girls use to go for a meal when it was a birthday. So maybe Chinese £25 per head, £2.00 each for tip, then drinks.
The bill was always split equally, now three of us don’t drink, so either a coke, or glass of water, which I would buy at the bar on the way in.
These girls would be on double vodka cokes, bottles of wine. When the bill would arrive, my £27 bill always turned into a £50 odd pound bill.
I just never found it to be fair.
I’d just pay so that I didn’t look tight fisted.
In the end what was a good night out just ran its course.

When we go to the bar to pay at the end of a meal we each pay our share. We tell the person with the machine what we have had and they give us each our own bil and receipts againts the table number.

I regularly have lunch with 2 ex colleagues. We invariably split the bill 3 ways, cash, and top up with a tip.

TBH it’s about the only time I pay with cash nowadays, except for the window cleaner.

My best friend and I just take turns and with family one person pays then it goes on Splitwise and we all pay an equal amount. With colleagues we all pay our own share at the end of the meal. There’s nothing worse than seeing a tableful of people scrabbling about working everything out to the last penny.

We always split the bill 50 /50 but if mine is a little dearer I'll just give a few pounds xtra without it even being mentioned, I always treat people the way id like to be treated

As a group, we decided that we would decide how we would pay before we ordered. Personally I like to pay for what I have plus a tip. I don't drink alcohol and most restaurants only do Diet Coke (too much caffeine) or slimline tonic (Ugh) so I usually have tap water. As a diabetic I don't often have a dessert either. I got fed up with paying far more than my share but one member of the group who has a very rich husband would insist we split the bill equally. I shared my thoughts to one of the group who I am particularly close to and she mooted that we decide before we order how to split the bill. I feel much happier about that now.

@magenta8 I was also a victim of these types of guys who order loads of beer and steaks and then have forgotten their wallet at the end of the first date, selfish in the wallet and selfish elsewhere I would imagine! seems to be a trend for getting a free lunch!

I always avoid eating out with groups now where everyone splits the bill, because I am veggie/vegan so usually the cheapest meal on the menu, plus I don't drink alcohol, either diet coke or tap water, I end up paying for everyone to get tipsy! Worst case was when meeting with ex school mates, endless bottles of wine ordered, bossy boots ordered a sharing platter for starters (all meat) worked out £40-50 per person at the end of the night, I added mine up to be £13.50 including my coke, left £15 in the pot and went!

I much prefer to pay for our own meals.
It can get very expensive otherwise.

We are due to meet up with friends in Spain and I’m dreading the mealtimes as I find it awkward and embarrassing.

I shall suggest we each pay our own.
And hopefully they will understand and agree.
Why am I embarrassed I keep asking myself.

The same with family.
I usually let my Dd pay and then I send a bank transfer for our meal. I’m ok with that.

I go out for coffee with a group, but I am the one that normally has a cake, so I pay for all unless we travel and then J takes over as I am paying for petrol.

Three out of 6 are widowed, and I feel, without discussing, that they perhaps have less income than J and I.

Just pay for what you eat and drink ...

My friend pays one time, next time I pay. Or get there first and order and pay.

Ask for individual bills at the time of ordering

Six of us go out every 6 weeks r so - I suppose it’s difficult for the waitress, but each of us pay for what each one eats and drinks

Magenta8

I have a niece who has been on an over 50s dating site for a while and been on several dates.

A surprising number of her dates seem to keep their wallet in their other trousers/jacket or simply come out without it. The end result is of course that she ends up paying for both. This is particularly galling as it is still the man who asks for the date and he chooses the venue. Several have also been rather put out that they are not invited back to her flat afterwards.

I am not suggesting that a man should always pay for a woman but surely they should be prepared to go Dutch.

Wat a bunch of creeps and chancers these man sound like. That's Dating Sites for you.

I would expect to pay my own way but certainly not pay for the man as well..

Or l would say that when the Bill came to be paid that l also had forgotten my purse And see what these men had to say.

As for split bills with a friend. l always get a bill.only for what l have eaten in r drank. It's the fairest way. No arguements.

It's th

Also give a small tip if the service was good.