Is a new relationship possible without sex?

I think it's very possible, but only if both are happy with the "no sex" stance.

I'm a bit confused about what 'the other stuff' is.

I think you do need to reiterate your stance.

There's more to sex than penetration but if you are finding even kissing a turn off and say you feel no physical attraction then what you have is a re-found friendship and no more.

You could seek some medical advice about your lack of libido but for now you need to be frank with him about how you do or rather don't feel. If sex is important to him then you must give him a chance to walk away.

FWIW, I know a couple who got together under exactly these circumstances. He thought she would come around. She thought she might, but she never did. He has been seeking sex elsewhere ever since.

I know of women who would be perfectly happy if their partner sought sex elsewhere.

"he joked "can't you just go really slowly""

I am afraid he is not on the same page as you are.

He obviously is hoping for more than you're willing to give.
So, its up to both of you if that happens or not.

Thanks everyone your views are very helpful. I need to reiterate the message.
Sounds like he's got hope it'll change
I'm adamant it won't.
The 'other stuff ' is non penetrative sex ie oral, heavy petting...
Don't want any of it

You'll have to make it perfectly clear, because i reckon he thinks he can win you over.
Good luck, whatever happens.

I think it’s pretty certain he won’t stop trying to persuade you that you’ll like it if you go along with his desire. Whether he will push it to a point that distresses you is something only you can judge.

Men aren’t much good at accepting when a woman who adores them really doesn’t want any kind of sexual relationship, and surely you wouldn’t want him in your house with the nagging thought that his urge is to persuade you that you’ll actually do want to go further.

You need to firmly reiterate that you’re not just being coy, you enjoy his company but you have zero intention of pursuing any physical relationship. I wonder if he will take no for an answer.

I agree with MissAdventure you know you don’t want a sexual relationship with him, even kissing and he thinks he just has to take his time but that you’re going to give in eventually.

Agreed. Argh, difficult conversation ahead!
Perhaps I should speak to him before Saturday...via text . So uncomfortable

Looks like a nonrunner. Others may differ but no sex of any kind doesn't augur well imho.

I think you’ve done very well. You have already told him where you are with this subject. That was the biggest step and you’ve done it.
When you speak about it again, you will be telling him something that he is already aware of and so there’s no reason for you to feel uncomfortable about it.
The reality is that it’s a difficult subject to discuss. And you’ve done it. You should be congratulated for your upfront honesty.

Dazy. - “A gentleman is simply a patient wolf”

I looked it up - a truism from Lana Turner

he has been circling you and licking his lips
before sticking his tongue in your mouth
which is usually a prelude to sex
he sees you as playing hard to get -
you now present a challenge
if he intends to visit you at home,
he is moving in for the kill
then he will slink back into the forest

However,
after consultation with a wolf -

whilst you are giddy with delight at the prospect of a
‘new man friend’ -your conditions are unrealistic

In his mid fifties, of course he will want a physical relationship.
be prepared for this to end badly

It is clear that this is not just about being unable to have sex for physical reasons, but that you do not want to have any sort of sexual contact at all. That is fine and you should not see this as any sort of failure on your part. It is a valid life choice.

But it is not compatible with pursuing this relationship. You have told him you want no sex, but he is proceeding on the principle that the word "yet" was in there somewhere and that if he continues to woo you then you will come round.
He needs to know very clearly that this is not the case.
It will mean the loss of a friendship that you are enjoying, but it cannot continue with this background incompatibility ticking along and you knowing that he will always be waiting to make his move.

Luckygirl13 - a post full of wisdom (as many others here)

Men always want sex, always. Even if you don't want to participate actively in intercourse he will want you to do things for him. So if you cannot bear to try then you need to manage when and where you meet as friends very carefully.

I think you both have different agendas. I think it would be only fair of you to tell him the truth but say you really value him as a friend but definitely not with benefits.

I’m with Luckygirl and others here. You’ve made your decision which is a perfectly valid one. Many men seem unable to accept no sex as part of a loving relationship. It sounds as though he thinks eventually you’ll happily be seduced.
You won’t. He needs to accept that as the basis of continuing friendship

Keep him as a friend if a kiss turns you off

Well yes, you can have a relationship, as really close friends. Sounds as though that’s not enough for him, though.

Is he in his 50s too? If so, it’s quite a big ask to expect someone to be celibate ad infinitum. So yes, you need to spell it out again, crystal clear with no room for misunderstanding.

How would you feel if he sought a sexual relationship elsewhere? If that thought upsets you, I really think you should go your separate ways.

If you have decided that sex is not for you then tell him, he will then either accept it or move on, if a couple live together then mutual agreement is essential. For a long-standing marriage agreeing no sex is easier you have established loyalties, families and dependencies. For a new relationship it's going to be much harder, if he wants sex and you don't it's not going to work.

Keep him as a friend and let him live the other part of his life as he wants, even thats going to be hard because if he has another date when you expect a phone call you will feel rejected.