How would you have felt?

Oh my what a dreadful childhood memory.
Have you considered counselling as it not unsurprisingly is still having an effect on you?

Davisjen

Oh my what a dreadful childhood memory.
Have you considered counselling as it not unsurprisingly is still having an effect on you?

My therapy has been my husband, children and a few good friends.

I have read so much about narcissistic abuse, I understand what happened and know it was not my fault.

I wish I had known growing up!

So sorry to hear you have had to go through this emotional abuse. I hope you realise your parents were in the wrong and not you. Sometimes talking to others who have gone through similar experiences can help. Be proud of all you've accomplished in life without their support.

Silvergirl

So sorry to hear you have had to go through this emotional abuse. I hope you realise your parents were in the wrong and not you. Sometimes talking to others who have gone through similar experiences can help. Be proud of all you've accomplished in life without their support.

Thank you Silvergirl it means a lot.

I am naturally scarred but being the scapegoat child means you learn some special skills. you are hyper vigilant and can predict a situation quickly, the ability to read someone quickly and accurately, you learn which battles to fight and those to walk away from, you are happy with your own company and comfortable with being alone rather than not fitting in and finally most scapegoat children have high emotional intelligence.

Also I can spot a narc at 100 miles!😉

My mother would say to
"We had peace when you weren't here" amongst many other hurtful things.
She had dementia in her later years and I did my share of looking after her.
She died 5 years ago and I am delighted to be free of her!

Say to me, that is.

I'm sorry this still haunts you. I think talking it through with a counsellor will help but it doesn't eradicate the damage they have done

sodapop

How some things stick in your mind don't they even after many years. Sorry your parents were so uncaring SingingRabbits.
Have to admit to being a bit puzzled by your natural born child comment.

I think natural born means the Parents weren’t married?

We don't know all the circumstances to make a comment.

Agree with SingingRabbits and Sago. I believe some people should never have children. My mother hated responsibility and my father was an ignorant thug.
But I’ve had a good life despite illness and a poisonous divorce, it’s due to a positive outlook on life and understanding people are fallible.

I'm a bit late to this but it did resonate with me . My mother was cruel , toxic and a manipulator , but she could also be loving and kind but you never knew what you were going to wake up with , she was so unpredictable.
She suffered from depression and would neglect us for weeks on end until it passed . She would choose times to be particularly cruel , eg after the birth of my children , birthdays etc . There were 6 of us and we all suffered one way or another . She died when I was 39 but I forgave her and the last words I said to her were of thanks for being my Mum . It was the only way I could release myself from some of the childhood trauma and I wanted to be free .
I'm nearly 70 now and I do find myself thinking more and more about things that happened and were said to me but when I do I switch to a happy memory when she was on good form and being generous and kind . Yes there were times . Confusing when you are a child.
I adore my children , my thoughts and actions are only of love for them and I tell them often how proud I am of them . They are my life .
I think a lot of women suffered from mental health issues that went undiagnosed and families suffered . This along with financial difficulties and attitudes to women backthen didn't help . I've tried to understand how my mother's life would have been raising 6 children in a small house and without the finances and time saving mod cons we enjoy today . This has enabled me to let go of it all , enjoy my life , love my children and husband and siblings . Please don't let it continue to haunt your remaining years . Life is for living today and celebrating. Forgive her and let it be .

Oreo I would suggest that the term natural born simply means biological child as in not adopted or fostered.

The thing is Sparkle you didn’t visit your mums behaviour on your own children and for that you should pat yourself on the back, you broke what could have been a cycle and I m sure Singingrabbits did the same

When I was 15 [and not done anything wrong [apart from my bedroom could have been tidier] - my mother said 'I hope someone makes your life as unhappy as you've made mine'.

I was illegitimate [conceived with a man who she didn't know at the time was married] so she needn't have kept me but things were fine, affection, no problems - until she married when I was 10 [I disliked him a lot] and had his children. I'm sure she had post natal depression for a long while.

I was always the black sheep, left out, felt in the way, nagged at, constant criticism etc. Unfortunately I chose to be a bit of a rebel after that [nothing too awful] - to give her something to worry about! Childish I know.

I married when I was 18, had 2 boys who are my pride and joy by the time I was 24 - and settled down [sort of]. I never forgot, never had much confidence, try to keep out of people's way, not to offend etc.

But I never gave up on my mother, I understood what she had been through/was going through. I wouldn't let her go. On her death bed when I was 59 she told me she loved me, and I said the same. Genuinely. I'm 77 now, still bear scars I'm afraid [much more to this story].

So that's how rejection felt/feels to me.

Thankyou BlueBelle . Yes, I broke the cycle , I lavished all the love I didn't get upon them , I am so grateful I am able to do that . beachcomber76 I'm sorry you went through this too . 😔

Thank you sparkle1234
It helps when the pain of it all is acknowledged.

This just popped up on Instagram...so true

My dad put my mum through a house window, I called the police, etc, he called me a 'grass'(often).
I was nine.

Thank you for sharing that sparkle1234