Has anyone else had the experience of someone close dying at an appropriate moment

crimson that is exactly what happened to my only sister.Way back in 1985 at 50 she had a lumpectomy.The treatment for cancer wasn't so good then as it is now.The next year I took her on a holiday with my two daughters -her first holiday abroad.Later that year the cancer came back.I was working in Devon - her OH phoned to say she'd been rushed into hospital.I drove up to Lancs.
Dr told me it was the end and for next 4 days I sat by her bedside holding her hand and talking to her even tho she never regained consciousness.I just had short naps when other family came. I was on my own- went outside to stretch my legs and get a breath of air -she slipped away.I felt so sad but the nurse told me that often happens -that's the way they want it.

My father eventually succumbed to one of his cancers in a hospice. My brothers had called me and said that he wasn't going to get through this time - my mother was in denial. When she did call me I raced up there and sat with him. He died the next day. Although he had been in a coma well before I arrived, he seemed to come out of it in his last hours - only for a few seconds whilst I was stroking his hand. He gave me a brilliant smile, and then slipped back into unconsciousness.
Odd - neither of my parents were "touchy-feely", and whilst Dad would hold my hand when I was little, in later years he was very distant. I wonder what was happening there at the last?

Really sad but moving stories..the problem now is Drs are absolutely terrified of "helping" terminally ill patients by giving morphine..this is because of the ghastly Harold Shippman..before this when a Dr knew that a patient was very near death & perhaps in awful pain, morphine would be given..not to kill, but the Dr would know that given appropriately, the person would slip away..now they are understandably concerned that relatives might not want their relative to go & might accuse them of God forbid murder...sounds awful, but if or when I am diagnosed with something terminal..I am off..no fuss, good bye to my loved ones & farewell!

My MIL had her youngest son born with downs syndrome. He was in a home that housed 3 others, with carers. She always worried that she would pass away before this son and it concerned her greatly.

In his 50th year he was having a shower at the home with a carer nearby when he had a fatal heart attack. Obviously MIL was most upset but also relieved that she didn't have the worry of dying before him.

6 weeks later my MIL (frail and bedridden now) passed away. Her rapid deterioration in health I believe was how things were meant to happen. She was at peace.

Annobel - it is the case that people require more support and understanding when a parent (or whoever) with whom they had a flawed relationship dies - there is so much more to come to terms with - you mourn both for the person and for the relationship that you wish you had had. I am sorry you got so little support from your then OH.

My mother (who falls into the above category) died 2 days after I had watched my baby GD being born - she had severe dementia, but when I rang the home and asked them to tell her the news, she said "How nice" - the first rational thing she has said for a couple of years - who knows, maybe she understood.