Cindersdad thank you for your thought-provoking post and the honesty with which it was written. I sort of agree with your penultimate sentence, except I would say that how we treat our fellow man, living creatures and the planet is in some way, for Christians, evidence of our faith. Someone once challenged me thus: 'If you were accused of being a Christian would there be enough evidence to convict you, if hearsay was excluded?' At the time I was a fairly new Christian and the honest answer would have been a resounding 'No'.
At the risk of being accused of 'virtue signalling' I have tried since then to follow the commands of Jesus in practical ways as well as in nurturing an 'inward grace'. I meet with my fellow believers in a 'house church' and we have no paid clergy, but we all have a voluntary sphere of community interest. And yes, I have taken homeless people into my house to live, also people of other faiths (and none), people with mental ill health and disability. And no, I do not not believe that Christians have a monopoly on kindness or selfless deeds.
I do believe that Christ requires a different standard for those of us who are called by His name; that we love Him and in consequence we treat others as we would like to be treated - at all times and in all circumstances. I do believe that He requires His people to agitate for social justice; on behalf of the poor, the needy, the marginalised, the refugee and the asylum seeker.
And I fail to live up to Jesus' example all the time, but I try and I keep on trying. I sometimes doubt, but I keep on believing. I love imperfectly, but I truly believe that Jesus' love is for all people and He can deal with our imperfections.