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struggle with Catholic faith

(103 Posts)
Judy54 Sun 10-Nov-19 17:26:28

I have struggled for sometime with the teachings of the Catholic Church and stopped going to Mass on a regular basis. Recently I went to a Church of England service where the welcome was very warm not something I have ever experienced in the Catholic Church. My dilemma is a feeling of guilt having been born and brought up as Catholic to now consider moving to the C of E, it does seem to offer me what I am looking for. Has anyone else experienced this and if so how did you reconcile yourself to it.

Alexa Mon 11-Nov-19 10:11:32

"I was married to a Catholic and when he wanted to attend my Baptist church, his priest said, 'It's like climbing a mountain. Some start the climb from the northe, some the south, some climb from the east or west but in the end, we all get to the same summit, which is God.'"

Great! smile

Newquay Mon 11-Nov-19 12:09:43

My dear Mum wasn’t allowed to be bridesmaid when one of her brothers married a non Catholic. In fact they couldn’t even attend the wedding-so sad

polnan Mon 11-Nov-19 12:23:29

Interesting topic.

I was brought up Cof E, but over the years I have attended
various other churches.. never RC other than when my young friend, when we were very young took me to her church

I often think,"what would Jesus do?" when confronted with a problem,, now if only...... One Church, one God, one bible,,
o.k. for me,,, the bible , the God Given instructions, tell us not to worship graven images, and that is what has always stopped me from attending an RC church, and the worship of Mary.... I only worship God the Trinity,, well that is what I try....

Aepgirl Mon 11-Nov-19 12:28:58

Judy54, don’t forget that we CofE folk are Christians too, and we worship the same God. The important thing is that you don’t lose your faith. You should never feel guilty about where or how you worship - God would not want that.

BusterTank Mon 11-Nov-19 12:29:30

I don't have a faith but you must do what makes you happy . Don't they say God forgives all . So there's no need to feel guilt for changing churches .

Poppsbaggie Mon 11-Nov-19 12:29:55

I was brought up a Catholic. Deserted aged 11. I believe all religions are total hogwash, but whatever floats your boat!!

Bridgeit Mon 11-Nov-19 12:36:01

Jesus / God , would want you to be happy with where ever you
Choose to worship ( even if you do it at home)
Go where you feel happiest it is not meant to be a struggle.

wishing you all the very best. Be strong go for it.

BazingaGranny Mon 11-Nov-19 12:36:30

What a compassionate thread, very helpful. I don’t have an answer for you but I do know a friend who was brought up as a Catholic, didn’t like some aspects of Catholicism, and she is now very committed to our local CoE church.

I was also brought up as a Catholic, don’t like many RC doctrines, but find myself wavering about everything religious!

Interestingly, have recently discovered that several other ‘major’ religions use the Old Testament as the basis for their religions. We certainly weren’t taught that at our convent school!

NotSpaghetti Mon 11-Nov-19 12:39:57

I have had lovely Catholic communities (especially when my oldest was tiny) and not so nice ones. In the not-so-nice ones (such as when my second was tiny) I gave up and went elsewhere (or nowhere).

I think I'm not so worried about moving between churches as I haven't had the same rigid upbringing as you, inspite of a Catholic mother and Catholic schooling.

Also, I don't think I've ever spent a lot of time at church events and didn't join any church groups for example. I have always just wanted to feel welcome when/if I decided to go.

My father was born Methodist and became Church of Wales. He went to church easily wherever he wanted - usually Catholic with the rest of the family but elsewhere if he fancied it. He said there was 'better worship in song' elsewhere and sometimes he wanted to sing! He had great Jewish friends and went with them sometimes. He was regularly invited to ceremonies of all religions and went along happily, we went as a family if appropriate. He always said he just didn't get what all the fuss was about as he believed God had many names and many ways of contacting and communicating with us.

He was one of the kindest people you could wish to meet.
I think if you are a good person, or trying to be, where you worship (or if you worship) is irrelevant. Be yourself.

Chaitriona Mon 11-Nov-19 12:41:43

I like the saying, “Do not say your path is the path of truth but say you have found truth walking on your path. For truth walks on many paths.” I am a Quaker and we are asked to enter imaginatively into the life and witness of other communities of faith. Recently the imam of our local mosque attended our meeting and talked to us about silence in Islam. I sometimes attend a Roman Catholic Church with friends who are devout catholics and am welcomed there and also sometimes attend the Episcopalian Church of Scotland cathedral which is in communion with the Church of England because I love the music there. I was brought up in the Church of Scotland which is presbyterian and aspects of that tradition are deeply within me and in my heart. I think there is much fellowship and working together between different faiths nowadays. I hope you will find God, or the spirit, or love or whatever words are meaningful for you, for this thing which is in all of us and in all religions on whichever path you choose to follow.

ReadyMeals Mon 11-Nov-19 12:41:57

God won't mind. It's not like you're going to turn your back on him completely. I am sure he likes to visit all the churches and enjoys the variety.

Theoddbird Mon 11-Nov-19 12:44:58

The same God in both churches. Go where you feel joy....

4allweknow Mon 11-Nov-19 12:52:06

You feel more comfortable in the new church, seem to gather more contentment from it to. Why are you hesitating. Most things in life change over time including people. Give it a go.

Rosina Mon 11-Nov-19 12:53:38

You are a Christian; that is all that matters. Jesus said 'Love one another as I have loved you' - an instruction ignored by so many factions in organised religion, in all denominations. I listened to a very good argument some time back on the radio that Jesus didn't intend us to have churches, as he said 'When one or more are gathered in my name, there I will be' (paraphrased a bit, sorry). What I am trying to say is I can't see how it matters where you go - if you believe, and join others in worship, that can only upset bigots and those too wrapped up in the past to see the light - literally.

Jangran99 Mon 11-Nov-19 12:57:42

polnan
Catholics believe that adoration and worship are due to God alone. When Catholics pray to a specific saint, such as the Virgin Mary, they do so asking the saint to intercede for them on their behalf before the throne of God in heaven. The prayer is directed to the saint, a simple request made between two creatures.

Buttonjugs Mon 11-Nov-19 13:00:22

Surely it’s down to personal choice? I don’t have a religion and I have never believed in god, seems daft to me but each to their own. You only have one life so don’t spend it doing something just to please your family.

Magi Mon 11-Nov-19 13:07:38

Go to the Church if you want to and feel that it will enrich your life. I changed to C of E from Methodism because there wasn't a Methodist Church within walking distance when we moved house. It hasn't caused any problems.

FC61 Mon 11-Nov-19 13:08:25

It’s all the same God so I wouldn’t have any trouble at all ! For the same reason I have no trouble with Jews or Muslims - I really don’t see too many differences just different ways of doing same thing which is believing in God! The big difference these days is not how you worship God but if you do or not IMO.

omega1 Mon 11-Nov-19 13:09:05

The beliefs of the Catholic Church and the Church of England are very different. Study the differences and then you can decide which church to go to.

WendyBT Mon 11-Nov-19 13:14:57

I am the opposite. Raised in the Church of England, converted to Roman Catholic twenty years ago and never looked back. I have found all the RC churches in my area to be open and welcoming and open minded priests and plenty of work for lay people to do.

I think you must follow your heart. If you are not happy with your church and the CofE seems to be a home for you, then go for it. I very much doubt that God will mind.

Good luck

timetogo2016 Mon 11-Nov-19 13:15:57

You should do what makes you happy.
That is what our lord wants for us.

starbird Mon 11-Nov-19 13:30:11

There is nothing in the Bible, as far as I know, that says a priest can forgive your “sins”. If you read about the lives of the Popes through the ages you will see that they led far from perfect lives (until the last two or three). As for the doctrine of infallibility, it only came into existence in the late 19th century. The basis of every major religion is the ‘Golden Rule’ - do unto others as you would be done by. Follow that and you can’t go wrong, but if you do, it is between you and God. Nobody born of man and woman can be perfect, we just strive to do our best, and remember, to love your neighbour as yourself, you have to love yourself first!

Craftycat Mon 11-Nov-19 13:33:18

I am not a religious person but surely if you believe in God then it doesn't matter which church you go to worship in.
My understanding is that there is only one God for those who believe & as long as you attend a church you can carry on with your faith. I doubt it matters the words you use as long as you are happy with them.

Emerald888 Mon 11-Nov-19 13:37:13

Having been brought up as a catholic. Benefiting from their excellent local schools I didn't know anything about C of E services.
Went to a wedding and christening which were Anglican High Church and found the services familiar. Attended other low church Anglican services over the years and found them odd! One vicar decided to make a health and safety announcement about fire escapes during a wedding service.

GoldenAge Mon 11-Nov-19 13:38:08

Judy54 - you're hard-wired to feel guilt as Roman Catholic - cut yourself some slack and worship at whatever place makes you feel happier spiritually - and gradually your overall mindset will shift and the guilt will subside.