Attending a hearse passing 'funeral'

Calendargirl when my father died 45 years ago we had to pass a roadworks just before the crematorium. All the men took their caps off and stood with bowed heads. Like you I found it quite moving.
A few weeks ago we were walking along the beach when we noticed several people dressed in black standing along the road. It did not register at first why they were there but by the time we got to the road a hearse was moving slowly past. DH quickly removed his cap and we both stood there with bowed head. None of the mourners were clapping.

When we were in the funeral car behind the hearse going to my Dad's funeral, we had to pass through some winding streets of a village. I remember looking out of the window, it was lashing with rain, and seeing 3 teenagers in hoodies all standing still and saluting! I was very touched and always remember that when I think of that day.

I stood by the road last week for the funeral of a friend, and was surprised when people clapped. It didn't seem appropriate, but I think people just wanted to show appreciation.

A family cannot demand - no clapping

kathw12 I have unfortunately been to a few lockdown funerals lately that had a live link and were videoed for family who were unable to attend for travel or shielding reasons. It was such a comfort to feel that they were there with us and they said how grateful they were that it had been arranged that way. We were also touched by the number of strangers who stood still on the way to acknowledge the hearse. I assumed that would have died out, so pleased it hasn’t.

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

I forgot to say that I refused the video but sometimes wonder if I should have done. I remember very little of the service as it was so distressing

Foxyferret I too was in the RAF (a PM nurse) and a couple of times stood and saluted a hearse when in uniform. Service people are also expected to salute as they pass the Cenotaph in London if wearing uniform.

My dad used to take his hat off and stand to attention while the funeral cortège passed,

kathw12. When my husband died four and a half years ago, I was asked if I wanted the service videoed. It was on the list of services offered. It has its place though. My grandson lives in Los Angeles so was unable to attend the funeral of a life-long friend. He was able to watch the ceremony online. My granddaughter joined other friends outside the church and balloons were released. He was only 28 and I can see why they did that.

As has already been said, it is really up to the grieving family.

We have always bowed our heads in silence, but I've noticed lately, well since Covid really, on our local news it has shown some mourners clapping as the hearse goes past. I found it odd myself, but just see what everyone else does.

My Dad's funeral was pre covid. My lasting memory is of two unknown young men who had just come out of the pub who stopped in their tracks and bowed their heads as the hearse went past. I was deeply touched.

A neighbour died recently in our small village and a note was sent round saying when the hearse would make a loop around on way to crematorium. We all stood quietly. The family had a table with a book of Remembrance outside her house.

I don't think clapping is so terrible. Why would it be? It's just a sign of appreciation for the deceased. We had a local well-known chap die just before Christmas and his cortege went down our street and there were loads of people lined up and clapping.
I was rather surprised but also rather chuffed 18 months ago when I spoke at my old friend's funeral, to get a round of applause. He was a cheery sort and would, I hope, have joined in!

As we walked behind my Mother’s hearse from the funeral director’s to the church along a very busy London street I was so touched by the number of people who stopped and stood by the side of the road, bowed their head or made the sign of the cross as we passed by. This would have been normal in her home in Ireland so it was appreciated by all the family.

Bowed head and hats off by men. Always the old ways and traditions are best. You can't offend anyone then.
If they request clapping or even wearing a certain colour which I have heard lately then follow the families wishes.

Oh my word no clapping! Doesn’t seem respectful.
My DSister died almost 5 yrs ago in Australia and my DH and I flew out to arrange the funeral etc the funeral director asked if we wanted it videoing! I was horrified and immediately said ‘no thanks’. I’ve thought about it since and still feel the same x

Recently a lady passed away who was a Highland Dance teacher. Her family posted a photo at the crematorium gates,of some of the children she had taught in full Highland outfits with a piper. Also, the owner of a local pub died recently and loads of folk stood outside it as her hearse passed by.

I like the clapping - applause for a life well lived.

Not decades .... deceased .... fat fingers!

I was a police officer in the 70’s and remember being told to stop, stand to attention and salute a funeral cortège. As the police station. Was near a funeral directors and a cemetery it was a common occurrence and as the only woman police officer in the town it was noticed and I would often get relatives approach me on the beat to thank me for saluting. Sadly I think that has died out now. I am in the folk music circle and have be to several funerals with Morris dancers, folk bands and country dancers accompanying the decades to his grave and am always moved by the proceedings. The deceased often plans his/her funeral to include this.

I was taught as a child that you stood to attention facing the hearse as it passed in Scotland, and that in Denmark, I had to remember to curtsey as it passed. Men and boys bowed.

I have never heard of clapping, it sounds wrong to me.

When on the way to my dad’s funeral several years ago, I looked out of the car and through my tears saw a lady cross herself. A complete stranger. It was so moving and I have never forgotten her. Since that day I would cross myself if ever I saw a hearse passing by. I don’t think clapping is very appropriate, but each to his own I suppose.

This happened to me last week - a neighbour died just before Christmas and his daughter requested that anyone that wished to (he was well known and liked in the village) would stand out either along the route to the local church where the service was going to be or actually outside the church.
I was the only one from our close that stood outside to see him leave his home for the final time and a couple of his friends/employees stood either side of the way in to the close, like a guard of honour.
I didn't clap or anything just stood quietly .
The clapping and flower throwing I believe are something that is usually done in certain parts of Europe.

Pope John Paul died after Diana, perhaps it filtered to the continentals from the uk

I don’t know where clapping originated, but I recall hearing it first at the televised funeral for Pope John Paul II & was rather taken aback. I wondered whether it was a continental custom which has filtered through to the UK.

Grandmabatty

When dad died and we were following the hearse, men of a certain age stopped and took off their hats and bowed their heads as we passed. That was very moving. I'm not a fan of clapping at a funeral or on door steps.

I’ve posted this before, but worth repeating I think.

When we were following the hearse to the crematorium for my dad’s funeral, nearly 50 years ago, we were travelling along a country road and a man was working in the field. He stopped, took off his cap, and stood silently.

That was just the sort of thing Dad would have done. It moved me, my mum and my sister very much. Have never forgotten that gesture by a stranger.