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Scams and fraud

My best scammer wind up to date.

(111 Posts)
vampirequeen Wed 07-Apr-21 12:45:38

Not the longest I've ever kept one on the phone but I definitely left this one confused and, fingers crossed, heading for Google.

17 mins on the phone with a cold caller/scammer explaining that I don't need life insurance because I'm immortal. She asked how old I was. I said about 4000 in Earth years. She started to ask me how, what I did etc. I told her I was a Watcher. She asked if it was a religion. I said no it is my job to watch the development of the human race. She wanted to know how many of us there were in the UK. I said around 110. She asked if there were watchers in every country. I said of course. We have to watch all over the world if we are to see how the human race develops. She asked if we met up. I told her that we didn't meet up. So she asked if we communicated and shared data. I said of course we did that in order to file our reports. She wanted to know what I looked like if I was 4000 years old. I said that I looked like a normal middle aged woman. I couldn't be in my normal form or I wouldn't fit in. She said she thought that maybe....yes only maybe lol...I was having her on and if I was real where did I come from. I told her from a planet in orbit around the star Sirius. If she googles it she'll find loads of information about ancient aliens from that star and watchers so she still won't know for sure 不不不不不不不

Lizbethann55 Wed 07-Apr-21 23:47:05

Vampire queen, that is awesome! I will try that next time. Yesterday my husband told the Asian sounding person called Simon, that he wasn't the person Simon wanted. Dh said he was the undertaker and MrJ had just passed over and he (DH) was measuring him for his coffin and that there was no one else in.
I had a good one a while ago, but is quite long and I have to be up in 6 hours and haven't gone to bed yet, so it will have to wait!

Ro60 Thu 08-Apr-21 02:16:10

Brilliant thread Vampirequeen
We even get them at work. So pass them from colleague to colleague each saying I'll pass you to my manager etc.

There was a programme a while back about scammers - some based on the UK! the police are closing them down but there appear to be 100s!

Savvy Thu 08-Apr-21 02:37:33

I haven't had a scam call for a while because I got so fed up with them that I changed my number. But I did hear about a good way of getting good rid of them. Apparently you anewer the call like this;

You (in an sinister whisper): it's done! They were expecting me and there's a lot of blood, but it's done! You may need to send in the cleaners.

Liz46 Thu 08-Apr-21 06:54:20

My husband answered the phone and there was a very gentle sounding Asian lady trying to scam him. He went along with it for a while but when she realized what he was doing, she screamed at him that he was a!

Oldwoman70 Thu 08-Apr-21 07:56:29

Most scams are recordings these days so not much chance to have fun with them.

Some time ago a friend received the usual computer call. After they had gone into their spiel she interrupted and asked for a password, puzzled caller said they didn't have a password, friend pressed a couple of random buttons (to make phone beep) and said something along the lines of "unauthorised caller on line 2, trace in progress, rapid response team on standby" The caller hung up and she never got that call again!

Grammaretto Thu 08-Apr-21 08:10:21

A few years back, when the callers were beginning to be recorded messages, I was at a friend's house (remember those days) and we were slightly tipsy and handed the call, now on speaker phone around the dining table to listen and add a bit.
I said, don't waste your time it's a robot.
"I'm not a robot" came back the voice. "it sounds like you are having a party"

I thought it best not to say a word or you will find yourself paying for the call.

Grammaretto Thu 08-Apr-21 08:15:35

When Sky were at their peak, advertising with constant cold calling I got really cross with this poor guy and harangued him with "Why don't you get a proper job"
He replied that he was a student and couldn't get any other job to pay his expenses. Did I really think he wanted to be doing this for a living. I was contrite.
But I guess a sales call is not the same as a scam calls, which can be horrible
I have just had a marriage proposal from the random person I am playing scrabble with - online! Shall I accept?

vampirequeen Thu 08-Apr-21 08:56:33


When Sky were at their peak, advertising with constant cold calling I got really cross with this poor guy and harangued him with "Why don't you get a proper job"
He replied that he was a student and couldn't get any other job to pay his expenses. Did I really think he wanted to be doing this for a living. I was contrite.
But I guess a sales call is not the same as a scam calls, which can be horrible
I have just had a marriage proposal from the random person I am playing scrabble with - online! Shall I accept?

Make sure your romantic proposer isn't only after you for your X? grin

Lollin Thu 08-Apr-21 09:19:48

If I have accidentally answered the phone to one and havent got much time I say hang on while I put you on loud speaker, and shout put the kettle on Zara weve got another one then leave the phone off the hook while the dog barks all goes silent then whisper, have you started the tracker. Or something similar depending on how much I remember of my best efforts so far. However as someone pointed out they are spoiling it with recorded messages these days. Often with an American voice. Plus I saw that they are not from so far away anymore.

Grammaretto Thu 08-Apr-21 09:39:21

I never thought of that. a Q is 10 and an X only 8.
Should I be wary? grin

vampirequeen Thu 08-Apr-21 10:03:27

He's maybe trying not to be too obvious. grin

JulieNoted Thu 08-Apr-21 10:43:54

We don't get any of these calls now because we've had a BT call monitoring phone for several years. It intercepts calls and asks the caller who they are and we have to accept the call before it's connected.

Perversely, though, I do miss the scam calls - I used to have such fun with them grin

Floradora9 Thu 08-Apr-21 11:29:30

not a scam phone call but this really drove me mad. We decided to give both our children a few grand as they are both moving house . DD's went through fine as she was already in my database on internet banking . My son wanted the cash to go in a new account so I set this up using a card reader and the bank agreed his details were correct. Fast forward a few days I turned on my phone to find a text from the bank to phone the fraud department . I did this was was given the third degree as to whether is was a scam . How did I know this person ? Well he has the same name as my DH who is also on my account . How did I get the account details ? Well DS told me. This went on and on until I persuaded the chap it was fine . Sadly with the few days that had elapsed the payment was returned to me so the next day I tried again. Once again it was blocked and I spoke to three different departments the last being a call centre in India . This lady was horrible and said she would not allow it to go through until I told her what the money was for . At this I totally lost it and , hamming it up a bit , I pretended to cry .At this she said she had put it through. I felt like a criminal and to make matters worse they could see it was a staff account . I know people get scammed but try persuading someone you know what they are doing . I put in a complain to the CEO but the reply was as uncaring as the treatment I had had. Moral of this is if you are transferring a sisable amout of money to a new account speak to the fraud department first.

Marydoll Thu 08-Apr-21 11:49:33

A similar thing happened to me, Floradora. I went into the bank to pay off my mortgage. The mortgage was with that bank and the money was sitting in my account which was with that bank. there was also a paper trail for where the money had come from.
I had brought all sorts of ID but the teller refused to accept it, as I had foolishly forgotten my passport. I pleaded and pleaded, as it was Saturday and I wouldn't have had time to back for it before the bank closed at lunchtime.

Out came the manager, who came over to speak to me. Much to my relief, the teller backed off, when the manager said her family and ours were close friends and I was certainly no money launderer.

Savvy Thu 08-Apr-21 11:54:06

A friend of mine tried to withdraw a large amount of money from her account after she retired as her daughter needed helping out. She got the third degree from her bank about what this money was going to be used for, did she know this person etc, the usual 'are you sure you know what you're doing because you're getting on a bit' stuff. In the end and out of sheer annoyance she said was going to the casino to play on the roulette tables and did they want her to place a bet for them. They never asked again.

JulieNoted Thu 08-Apr-21 13:30:48

I do understand why people get annoyed at going through what must feel like an inquisition when trying to withdraw large amounts from their accounts. But there have been so many cases of elderly, confused people being targeted by scammers, often being escorted to their banks to withdraw thousands to have completely unnecessary work done to their houses - loose slates, dodgy wiring and so on. They pay the money upfront and never see these so called 'workmen' again.

So all in all, I'm quite grateful that the banks are going the extra mile to protect people's money and make sure they're not victims of fraud.

FarNorth Thu 08-Apr-21 13:52:40

I turned on my phone to find a text from the bank to phone the fraud department

And probably giving the number to phone, as I've had in the past.

So then we are more likely to fall for a scam saying the same thing.

Missedout Fri 09-Apr-21 09:26:05

FarNorth, I had an automated phone call from my bank's Fraud Team to say that there had been an unusual transaction on my account and to press '1' to be put through.

I disconnected the call and rang the number given on my credit card using another phone. It took ages to get through to the Fraud Team and I went through a whole series of security questions.

The outcome was that the original call had been genuine and my card had to be replaced.

However, firstly I had already spotted a strange transaction by checking my account online (a definite advantage of online banking). So knew there really was a problem.

Secondly, I complained to the Fraud Team that being asked to press '1' to be transferred to them on the original call from them was a stupid idea!

Floradora9 Fri 09-Apr-21 13:44:20

Far north I did not phone the fraud department until I looked online to get the number . I would never phone anyone unknown without researching first.

Oldwoman70 Sat 10-Apr-21 10:55:31

I have also had to answer questions when withdrawing a large amount from my bank. However, they were in no way condescending and treating me like a doddery old woman. I was glad they were concerned I wasn't being scammed.

Alioop Sat 10-Apr-21 11:03:35

This is hilarious. I normally hang up, but maybe it's time for some fun with these eejits.

Dearknees1 Sat 10-Apr-21 11:05:54

It can work the other way round. I once had a call in the middle of the night from someoneobviously in another country telling me my phone had been disconnected. I had to think about that - after all I had been woken in the middle of the night - then queried how he could be speaking to me on a disconnected phone. There was a lot of noise in the background so I asked if they were having a party. The reply was 'Oh ma'am that's the cows in the street. They are so loud.' Amusing nowbut not in the middle of the night when you assume a phone call is an emergency. The best I could do was get the number barred. I thoroughly approve of wasting the time of cold callers who struggle to deviate from their script.

Quizzer Sat 10-Apr-21 11:07:26

Love it Vampirequeen!
I had a new scam yesterday saying that I needed to pay to renew the extended warranty on my washing machine. It is 7 years old and we have never paid for an extended warranty. The caller couldnt tell me my name, address or what make my machine was. She ignored those questions and just kept telling me about the costs of repairs etc.
Usually it is allegedly Microsoft calling about a fault on my computer. If I have nothing better to do I play them along for a while. When I get bored I say that they should contact the owner of the computer - the Metropolitan Police (blatant lie!).
Usually just a moments silence and then a hang up.
Such fun grin!

Gwenisgreat1 Sat 10-Apr-21 11:10:34

I often get recorded messages from BT, National Insurance Amazon - they all get the same treatment, I leave them to listen to the TV so they can't bother anyone else!!

rizlett Sat 10-Apr-21 11:12:54

This is a great one from Joe Lycett.