Does anyone really say "tummies"?

My rather refined Granny (she was a mill worker but married 'up') referred to any discomfort in your middle as a 'pain in the pinny'. Phrase was also used to describe someone who was a 'pain in the neck' or 'a**e'. She seemed to have an aversion to naming any body parts, substituting 'below' for anything in THAT region and made a classic statement that someone was 'showing too much of her Lady Chest'.

I am apparently very coarse, I use the words piss, bastard, fart and belly almost on a daily basis!

We used to sing a song with the kids (oops, there I go again)

'Put your finger on your belly, on your belly.
Put your finger on your belly,
Does it feel like strawberry jelly?
'Put your finger on your belly, on your belly!'

There are other verses referring to other body parts. This is , according to refined GNers, the most coarse!

Whilst on the subject of nauseating words, for me it is "poo" - particularly when used in adult conversation! I know it is in wide usage but it drives me mad!

What do you say, then moomin?

Reminds me of when I was in the Infants' class and one little boy was trying to join in with the other boys being silly about 'wee and poo' but as he was a doctor's son he kept referring to 'motions'...no one knew what he was on about!

moomin, I'm with you on "poo" personally I prefer shit, or even shite, slightly more refined. My mother always called it business, that doesn't seem to be used in a number 2 sort of context anymore. Number twos is a nice euphemism in my opinion, but others may find it coy, it is of course, but it's quite a good way of referring to the opening of one's bowels to children, poo is the stuff in babies nappies!

Describing one's stomach as a tummy as an adult is almost in the same category as referring to your mother as mummy, sounds as if the speaker has never left their childhood behind.

Can anything better the Australian term "rack off" or the Irish "feck off" We all know what they mean but they have a much more folksy tone!

My number one ridiculous euphemism would have to go to the Americans, yes them again, in the use of the word "restroom" instead of lavatory or toilet. We all know what they are there for and aint for having a rest!

They say 'bathroom' when they mean toilet, too - must lead to confusion and embarrassment at times when visiting this country...

Does it really matter?

I'm off for a crap ana

Lots of things don't really matter, Eloethan, but most of us still like to give our opinions!

I hate 'hubby' too - usually used by some idiot telling us what a fluffy little thing she is and how her husband does everything for her.

I use stomach, knickers, lavatory but also belly, piss (as in 'off' - understood by men everywhere), and the anatomical names for all the parts of the body (where I know them).

'Mummy' and 'Daddy' from adult women makes me want to scream. For goodness sake, grow up!

Even worse from adult men!

Of course it doesn't matter, it's just personal observations!

I just love it when children get to the slightly lavatorial age and think the funniest words they can utter are "wee wee" and "bottom". Very endearing!

BAnanas I haven't heard business in such a long time Used in our house too when I was growing up and I never understood the reason (still don't)

It doesn't really matter but is a bit of fun when you find yourself unexpectedly at home on a grey miserable day!

My sons call me Mummy!

When my boys were little, during a conversation with a babysitter she asked what they call their private parts ...'Penis' I replied (me being a nurse). She said she would be too embarrassed to use such a word and would stick with privates!

I know Sel where's it gone? I was constantly in fits of laughter as a child when I heard the word "business meeting" crop up, I think I believed that the people involved in these strange goings on were meeting up for a communal opening of their bowels, to put it politely, after which they compared notes on the whole experience and then if you pardon the pun went on to pass a motion! "Business man" well to me that was someone who hadn't mastered the art of wiping their bottom!

As well as using the term "business" if as a young child, when out with my mother, I had to use a public toilet, she would go through a peculiar ritual of placing pieces of toilet paper all round the seat before my bum, ooops sorry bottom, made contact, a bit of a nuisance, when are dying to go!

I don't find I need to mention my faeces, or the process of defecating, very often ever. I might say "I need the loo" but I'm not in the habit of telling people when I need to crap.

Nor me, bags that would be TMI

So, if you had to go to the doctor suffering from constipation, you'd tell him/her you hadn't had a crap for a whole week? Or a shit?

I can't be the only one who would never either of those words other than as an expletive, and I would hate it if my children or grandchildren did.

But of course everyone has the right to call a spade whatever they like!

I would tell my doctor I was suffering from constipation!

And she'd tell you to eat more fruit or take a laxative.

Have you ever lived in Germany, ana?

No, but I am possibly the descendant of a member of the Spanish Inquisition...

I hope she wouldn't tell me to take a laxative - more fruit or liquid would be wiser. And taking long walks.

I ask because a German friend of mine was amazed what a fuss is made here about the word shit. She says schiesse is a nothing word in Germany. Maybe they are just more down to earth than many Brits.

If one uses the word shit for, well, shit (as is bird shit that one has to clean off one's bird table, for instance), what is wrong with that? Rhetorical question. The answer is nothing.

Shit is not intrinsically a bad word. Neither is crap. It depends how they are used! It's bad-mouthing someone that's the problem, not the words.