I just do not understand...

The one I got ticked off for replying to naturally (and not unkindly) just seemed cross rather than anything else.

No. I don't think for one moment they are "not genuine". But neither do I think they are on the brink of a complete emotional breakdown.

I'm afraid I'm not such an expert in these things so would rather err on the side of caution in these matters.

I think it is only a few on here that are not genuine, but I do suspect there are one or two. You can't assume that any particular one is not genuine, though, or that they "just need to get a grip" or a similar dismissive reply.

Tegan I've been in that place too, thankfully long ago now (before the internet)

I think I could tell from a post if someone was that much distressed.

I once phoned the Samaritans late one Saturday and said to them 'I'm not suicidal but I just need to hear someones voice'. I was going from mid day Friday to Monday morning without speaking to a soul and then slipping into Eleanor Rigby mode when I got into work on Monday morning. No one at work knew for months [probably even longer] the despair I was feeling. Late at night is when you scour the internet looking for answers [and sometimes just a friendly voice albeit a cyber one]. I'm not saying that some of these threads aren't hoax's and yes, it is sometimes upsetting when people don't take the time to give an update on their situation, but we should never make assumptions.

I think you're right about the hoax element, Elegran. Quite a few of these posts are put on quite late at night which makes me wary.

Well, one of the reasons. Another is that I would never blast anyone for seeking support, but there is always enough of it anyway from others without me adding to the pile.

Unfortunately, an occasional post of this nature is a hoax, and intended for a gang of teenagers to giggle at the answers of gullible grannies. They will giggle at the umbrage raised by tart replies as well as the sympathetic ones that appear. That is why I don't post responses which are extreme in either direction - If I reply I try to give a practical suggestion which neither reinforces the possible self-pity that the OP could be feeling, nor condemns them for it without knowing them in person.

Oh yes. Definitely polite.

J08 No way am I suggesting we should be like the Samaritans.

We should just be courteous to people and offer basic politeness. Even if it is someone who we know quite well can be a nasty bit of work and do not like or trust. Being basically polite even while disagreeing costs us nothing and saves aggro on all sides.

We could try it.

So we should hide our true feelings and angst and be bright and cheerful AND THEN vent our difficulties and unhappiness. Dream on.

On Mumsnet you get a lot of threads where the posters criticise their mum-in-;
laws, and even their own mothers. The responding posts are usually "joining in" posts, saying how awful their mothers are too. I don't think it would be good if Gransnet was like that. Surely we, being older, should be able to look at two sides of a situation.

I think if you were in a dark place, it would be more helpful to you if you joined in with the interesting or happier threads to start off with.

It's asking too much of an internet forum otherwise.

We cannot be expected to be on a par with the Samaritans.

Yes Nelliemoser, wise words.

I agree with Tegan and others in wanting some understanding of how distressed a new poster might be.
You really do need to engage a bit more with a new poster to get some picture of how vulnerable they are.
There are some people you could risk being direct and very practical with at the start, others would be very distressed with this approach.

I mean words.

Wise word Tegan. Quite right.

Actually some people are in a situation like that. I'm not saying thats the case here but, when my marriage ended I was in a very dark, lonely place and if I'd had the internet in those days and been met with a negative comment I would have been incredibly upset. A lot of people read posts from a position of happines and security and tend to forget that not everyone is in the same place.

Oh, come off it, LizG. Some will leave this site and return to a life alone??? We're not that important and how do you know they're going to take any notice of advice that's been offered?

I don't think there is anything hurtful in this thread. Tbh.

J08 You started this thread very shortly after a poster on another thread was upset by comments made. I feel that this thread is just another way of bringing matters to the fore again. We don't always know how posters truly feel, most will be genuine and some not. Some will leave this site and return to a life alone. I worry about how they will react to what has been said here.

Oops truly a pink poodle moment. (Simpers irritatingly]