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OK, it's probably been said before, BUT..

(58 Posts)
phoenix Tue 11-Apr-17 20:21:41

Can we please "play nicely"?

Get heated, contentious, whatever on threads where it might be acceptable/appropriate, politics for example, or even if you are that way inclined, the best way to make Yorkshire pudding or trim your over grown bush (gardening thread, of course, or perhaps style & beauty?)

But PLEASE on other threads, either lighten up, or adopt the old attitude of if you can't say something nice, say nothing!

It is incredibly easy to ignore something that doesn't interest you, so why waste finger energy to post a derisive comment on another members post? Exceptions made for those focussed entirely on school shoes, of course.

Disagree with it by all means, challenge it, that's fine too, I'm sure we've all done that.

Thinking about it, we are bloody lucky to have the space and opportunity to communicate in this way, without too much censorship (ok, so who wants to be governed by Kim Jung Un (sp) ,any takers? Thought not.)

Unusual post for me, but sod it!

Christinefrance Wed 12-Apr-17 11:58:07

I thought the idea of the cafe was for everyone to be sweet and kind. The other threads allow for opinions to be voiced, personal attacks are not necessary though.

thatbags Wed 12-Apr-17 12:17:53

I Iearned that too, Norah, but then I learned something about writing with courage. If someone doesn't want any replies that aren't 'there, there, there' they are being unrealistic. One can express puzzlement about a situation and ask questions to increase clarity without it being a personal attack. And it still isn't a personal attack even if some people say it is.

Abonet Wed 12-Apr-17 12:23:14

Some threads lean towards, or are, supportive threads.

Personal attacks are personal attacks if the poster who posted them, meant them as such.

Elegran Wed 12-Apr-17 12:36:37

Some posters assume that a thoughtful reply which is not what they were hoping for ("but have you looked at it this way . .?" instead of "There, there, there") is an intentional personal attack and that it came from someone whose only motive was to be hurtful.

An appeal to see through their own hurt to the bigger picture needs an awful lot of butter and sugar in with it for them to accept that it is meant helpfully.

I have read a lot of vitriol in reactions to these attempts to help, and a lot of genuine posters retiring wounded. A comparison would be trying to free a wild animal from a trap and being savaged in the attempt.

Beammeupscottie Wed 12-Apr-17 13:03:13

If I get a slap-down I have probably deserved it!

NfkDumpling Wed 12-Apr-17 13:41:32

Thatbags and Elegran I always have great respect for your reasoned arguments as they are considered and helpful - definitely not 'there, there'.

Norah Wed 12-Apr-17 14:06:01

That's it Elegran most people don't have much patience to make 'an awful lot of butter and sugar in with it' when writing a valid point.

But everybody is different to accepting their family problems.

I'll take my sweet daughters and family any day over 'sugar' and having my say.