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GNHQ here - please read

(387 Posts)
LaraGransnet (GNHQ) Tue 07-Jul-20 11:27:47

Hello, GNHQ here, (waving a white flag).

We need your help. As many of you have probably noticed the conversations over the past few days have been increasingly tense. The questions posed have been so interesting and worthy of debate but so often the conversations have derailed and turned into personal attacks (the veiled ones can be particularly unkind). We hate deleting threads when people have taken time and effort to contribute and it must be equally wearing for you all to wade through mean-spirited posts. We'd really like to get back to conversations that include debate/disagreement but that also show a bit of respect and consideration for other posters even if you disagree with them.
Thank you for reading. smile

Sar53 Tue 07-Jul-20 11:44:50

I totally agree. We may not all have the same opinion but there is no need to be unkind. Disagree but in a kind and considerate way. Always respect the other person's point of view.

Marydoll Tue 07-Jul-20 11:51:45

Totally agree, Lara, thank you for raising it.

Some posters are particularly vulnerable at the moment and some are very good at concealing it, until someone takes a swipe at them.
Lockdown seems to have brought out the worst in others. It's very easy to be nasty, when you can hide behind the mask of an anonymous user name.
You can disagree, without being offensive or as you say Lara, mean spirited.

However, I must acknowledge the number of kind, caring and supportive posters on here. You are stars. Perhaps the nasties can try and emulate them!

Whitewavemark2 Tue 07-Jul-20 11:53:24

It is the veiled attacks that I find most dispiriting.

Some are past masters at the practice.

It is such a shame.

Disagreement and good debate with considered replies is good but personal attacks simply pull the thread down.

Good post though lara

Grannybags Tue 07-Jul-20 12:02:12

Thanks Lara

It would be nice to have debate without the nastiness.

I think you may be asking too much from some posters though...

lemongrove Tue 07-Jul-20 12:04:06

Hope all will read it ( probably not) and inwardly digest, as they say.??

Izabella Tue 07-Jul-20 12:07:33

Thank you Lara

GrannyGravy13 Tue 07-Jul-20 12:13:08

Pleased you have started this thread Lara thank you.

Nortsat Tue 07-Jul-20 12:17:56

I wholeheartedly agree.
I haven’t had anything nasty directed at me recently but have seen it happen to others.
I must also say I have seen a number of GNs leaping to the defence of a poster who is receiving nasty, personal responses. So we know there are still plenty of lovely women here.

I stop reading the threads which turn nasty and I avoid the political threads for that reason. I am very interested in politics but am not interested in reading personal attacks directed at me or anyone else.

Well said Lara. Thank you.

Rosalyn69 Tue 07-Jul-20 12:27:18

Read and understood.

Sunlover Tue 07-Jul-20 12:28:17

My mum always said ‘ if you can’t say anything nice say nothing at all’!
I know we can’t always agree but sometimes I’m pretty shocked at how unkind some posts are.

HAZBEEN Tue 07-Jul-20 12:30:34

Thank you for the thread Lara hopefully it will be read by all.
There are some lovely supportive people on here but as with life some aren't!

Ellianne Tue 07-Jul-20 12:34:13

I have read, and concur fully with the sentiments.
Thank you.

threexnanny Tue 07-Jul-20 12:36:12

Good that this has come from GNHQ when 'netters' have raised the issue it hasn't been well received.

Galaxy Tue 07-Jul-20 12:37:06

I dont think this is particular to GN , I think we have started to want to win an arguement rather than debate.

Anniebach Tue 07-Jul-20 12:39:42

Thank you

GGumteenth Tue 07-Jul-20 12:55:08

Message deleted by Gransnet for being in the spirit of the site. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

MellowYellow Tue 07-Jul-20 13:02:54

Thank you. As a new Gransetter I've been shocked at some of the responses.

Iam64 Tue 07-Jul-20 13:05:08

Thanks Lara

Chewbacca Tue 07-Jul-20 13:15:55

Thanks Lara.

Feelingmyage55 Tue 07-Jul-20 13:31:00

Thank you Lara. I have barely posted in the last few weeks in case my contributions take a turn in an unexpected/negative direction. Thankfully Mick’s lovely good morning thread and soop’s kitchen remain safe places. Credit to both Mick and Soop for gently ensuring and reiterating that they are kind threads. There is true in the old cliches

Agree to disagree

If you’ve nothing nice to say, say nothing

One bad apple spoils the bunch ( from the Old Testament - one bad influence ..... )

I don’t want to read bland opinions but dislike verbal aggression. There are many very interesting and kind people on here and I have been reminded of the importance of listening and in particular, learnt some apt phrases for offering comfort and consolation that I have been able to take into real life situations to express feelings. Thank you to all who listen, reply, offer reassurance and an alternative point of view in a positive way to help me see a different perspective.

TrendyNannie6 Tue 07-Jul-20 13:33:15

Well said sat53

Kate1949 Tue 07-Jul-20 13:36:28

I try never to post anything that might be construed as hurtful or insulting. I never join in anything contentious (wimp that I am). I try to consider other people's feelings/ problems when posting. Many times I have started a thread and deleted it for fear of hurting or upsetting someone. I did it today when yet another 'lockdown hair' thread appeared. Having lost all my hair, I find all these threads upsetting but deleted my post for fear of making anyone who had posted feel bad.

Oldwoman70 Tue 07-Jul-20 13:46:04

I am pleased GNHQ has raised this. I know several GNs who no longer post, or visit, simply because they are afraid of the response from some, this stifles debate and results in posts just being from the same people agreeing with each other.

Corryanna Tue 07-Jul-20 13:48:20

Thank you Lara.