Hi kittylester, if a user deletes their account or messages, then all messages in the chain are removed, including your own, we're afraid.
It’s something that we put in place in the run up to GDPR, because we took the view that in situations like this, we need to privilege the right of users to delete their data.
In the case of PMs, messages by poster A can often contain personally identifying information about poster B. Because we’re putting poster B’s right to delete her data above other concerns, when poster B deletes a PM that was sent to her, the PM is deleted from our servers and will disappear from poster A’s ‘sent’ folder .
Likewise, if poster B de-registers or asks us to delete all her data, we think she will rightly expect PMs between herself and poster A to be deleted from our servers. That means they’ll also disappear from poster A’s ‘sent’ folder. Hope that explains things a bit more fully. 
Lara, even if you are only a recipient and want to tidy your inbox, you cannot do so, because others in the chain are effected. That doesn't sound very user friendly nor efficient.
It also means that you have to store PMs, you are finished with or may not wish to keep, for fear of deleting other's messages. We cannot possibly know if others in the chain are finished with them, nor even read them. It doesn't make sense and is flawed.
Surely only the sender, should be able to delete or retract for all users, the message they have sent and a single recipient being able to delete their own copy.
Not good IT housekeeping at all. It doesn't happen in other organisations. 
It is annoying, as there might be something in a private message that you want to keep - a phone number, perhaps
No problem!
Rarely use PM, but when I do, I compose message in Word processor, "Save" then cut/paste to GN message box.
Then have opportunity to re-send if first go was removed accidentally, or send to somebody else depending on context!
After all, what a shame to have a cleverly crafted message destroyed at somebody's whim!! 
Mind I'd be very dismayed if it was deleted at users'
request!
OoRoo
Marydoll
*Doodledog*, when you join GN, you are given the option of being emailed if you have PM.
Go to INBOX, then SETTINGS and tick the box to receive notification of a PM.
Thank you, Marydoll
Marydoll
*Lara*, even if you are only a recipient and want to tidy your inbox, you cannot do so, because others in the chain are effected. That doesn't sound very user friendly nor efficient.
It also means that you have to store PMs, you are finished with or may not wish to keep, for fear of deleting other's messages. We cannot possibly know if others in the chain are finished with them, nor even read them. It doesn't make sense and is flawed.
Surely only the sender, should be able to delete or retract for all users, the message they have sent and a single recipient being able to delete their own copy.
Not good IT housekeeping at all. It doesn't happen in other organisations.
I always thought they could be accessed by GNHQ. Under
Our Policy in Full with regard to privacy on the site, and then under Your Data What We Store and Why, it states:
We also store the following optional data for registered members:
"Private messages that you choose to send to other users"
then, under How Long is Your Data Stored?
"Private messages are stored until you delete them. If you delete your account, your messages will also be deleted".
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