Do you remember wayback when.........

Doesn't he look grand in it, too?

Wheniwasyourage

That's upsetting to hear, Vintagejazz. More for you.

Perhaps we all need to take a big breath before launching off about something. We do not know what is going on in other posters' lives, and while it's easy to put one's foot in it unintentionally, I can't see what anyone gains by going to the lengths of using pms to continue the attack.

Surely a bit of idle chat is what everyone needs from time to time, and if you're not in the mood for it, don't take part, for goodness sake! This all reminds me of the threads in Pedants' Corner (the clue is in the title) when someone accuses us of splitting hairs. That's what pedants do, and why we have a corner for doing it, and anyone is welcome to join in for a bit of splitting, but asking us why we are wasting time doing it is a bit pointless!

Thank you ?

The point about the fly was that it was still alive next morning. Hiccuping slightly.

Have you not noticed Fleurpepper that people have taken to noting that their posts are lighthearted.

Smileless2012

Well if you drink enough you wont care Callistemon .

Extra meat ration, as DH says!

I know lots of people are angry or sad or passionate about some topics or issues that have affected them... and disagreeing is fine even if its coloured by emotional experience

But the personal comments should definitely be challenged.

They have no place in any discussion

Truth always wins in the end, if people enjoy being unkind, eventually they will find very little space to do so

Truth is not always kind, though. And it is not always kind to tell the truth.

Truth is truth

The issue is people who enjoy being unkind

I don't think many people enjoy being unkind. The vast majority of people I've met would rather do a good deed as a bad one.

I think theres some real examples of kindness on some threads today. It's quite moving to be honest.

That's good

Some people do enjoy being unkind though

I don't stand for that

Fleurpepper

Why on earth would anyone a) find fault with it b) need to be told it is light hearted? Really.

Just fish it out, and enjoy it- job done.

That wasn't 'kind' Fleurpepper, and really proves my point.

Titter ye not!

That sounds rather threatening

The thing is that there is no absolute truth or absolute kindness - is telling someone that they are behaving badly kind, or is it bossy or controlling, or any of lots of other possibilities? ‘I’m doing this for your own good’ is often morally dubious and not always truthful. Just saying that something is being done out of kindness doesn’t make it so.

Also, people can believe that they are telling the truth, but as we all know, there can be many versions of the same incident, none of which are lies, just different interpretations. A belief that one is the only person who knows the truth is probably a sign of madness ?.

I’m feeling very philosophical for this time in the morning!

Yes, I wonder what the fly would have said, had he (or she) been questioned?

Kitty
For the life of me I can’t see anything unkind in Fluerpeppers post.

No, nor can I. It was an observation, but the difference of opinion is what I am getting at, really. One person's 'unkind' is someone else's 'observation', and nobody is being untruthful.

The fly couldn't be questioned until it had sobered up

I found the 'really' very dismissive of my post.

Doodledog

No, nor can I. It was an observation, but the difference of opinion is what I am getting at, really. One person's 'unkind' is someone else's 'observation', and nobody is being untruthful.

The fly couldn't be questioned until it had sobered up

Sometimes a post can be taken either way, but some posts are very obviously intended as a rude put down.

Vintagejazz
Yes I agree, some are just downright spiteful, and nobody wants to see that
But it will be tricky to contribute to a thread, if you have to consider everything you say, because someone might find some offence

Sara1954

Vintagejazz
Yes I agree, some are just downright spiteful, and nobody wants to see that
But it will be tricky to contribute to a thread, if you have to consider everything you say, because someone might find some offence

That's the thing, Sara. People differ in what they find offensive, and when there is doubt some will look for the positive interpretation while others will always find a negative. Some things touch a nerve that the poster doesn't know will do so, so a post might seem to be needling when it wasn't meant to be at all.

You cant think or speak on anything complex of you are constantly thinking of the offense you may cause. All sorts of things offend me. Being offended is not always a bad thing.

My typo is offending me for example

kittylester

The point about the fly was that it was still alive next morning. Hiccuping slightly.

Have you not noticed Fleurpepper that people have taken to noting that their posts are lighthearted.

Good for Miss Fly, lol.

Yes, I have. But there is no need really- it is usually quite obvious.

I like to think I've somewhat mastered the art of not being offensive, and apologising if I am. unless I meant to be

It's a prerequisite for being an adult.

kittylester

Fleurpepper

Why on earth would anyone a) find fault with it b) need to be told it is light hearted? Really.

Just fish it out, and enjoy it- job done.

That wasn't 'kind' Fleurpepper, and really proves my point.

I am so sorry, it was supposed to be just a simple answer and certainly not intended to be 'unkind'. If you had written about the fly in your wine, it would surely have been very obvious it was lighthearted, to all. I was smiling when I wrote this- in jest. So it seems that I should have written on my post that it was lighthearted!

So sometimes it is not the post which is the problem, but how it is interpreted. So we need to put 'lighthearted' on replies as well as posts.