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In Memoriam thread - would it work?

(76 Posts)

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ixion Sat 20-Aug-22 17:50:26

Just floating this idea - I have no strong feelings one way or the other -

However, after all that has gone on with remembering Phoenix, I was wondering whether people might like a dedicated space to acknowledge sad and significant days for them and get support if they need it.
We often come across people saying 'I lost my family member/family pet etc x years ago today.
This could be a meeting and sharing place for us, if we feel the need. A simple acknowledgment where some may not visit nor read the Bereavement thread routinely.

An Argy Affiliate, newish, as was I at the time, became a close friend. She too revealed that she had terminal cancer and sadly died during her time with us, shortly afterwards.

I would like, too, to remember her here a year on.
Would this sort if thing be appropriate?

Bearing in mind that it seems to be a case of 'one in, one out' with HQ at the moment, which forum would you be prepared to exchange for this one?

GrannyGravy13 Sat 20-Aug-22 17:54:52

I think that an In Memoriam headed forum would be an excellent idea.

Blossoming Sat 20-Aug-22 17:57:21

The ‘Classics’ forum only has 10 conversations.

Blossoming Sat 20-Aug-22 18:02:31

Forgot to say, I think it’s a great idea.

M0nica Sat 20-Aug-22 18:07:53

Classics and/or webchats. I have looked at the threads on both these forums and all really belong under other headings.

VioletSky Sat 20-Aug-22 18:07:59

If a forum couldn't be added, a memoriam stories thread would be quite nice?

I have 2 friends who have lost their mums. When they are down, I always ask them to share a story about their mums with me and it always makes them smile.

lixy Sat 20-Aug-22 18:11:10

I think that's a great idea too.
It would have avoided much of the difficult misunderstanding there has been recently.
There's not much activity on the 'Local' forums that I have looked at.

silverlining48 Sat 20-Aug-22 18:13:41

I noticed the classics and imagined Greek and Latin on the cards, instead of high brow debate it was something more saucy.

Re suggestion, I agree, today should have been a day to think of Phoenix, someone I remember as brave funny and upbeat, despite her constant setbacks.

FannyCornforth Sat 20-Aug-22 18:23:35

Brilliant idea

Kate1949 Sat 20-Aug-22 18:24:00

This brings to mind a poster from a few years ago with the user name willsandco. Does anyone remember her? She seemed like a fantastic lady. She had lost her husband and had found a lovely new man in her 60s and was asking advice about wedding outfits. Not long after the wedding, she was diagnosed with Motor Neurone Disease. I think of her sometimes when I am whinging about something ridiculous.

icanhandthemback Sat 20-Aug-22 18:44:03

Yes, an excellent idea and people wouldn't weigh in being argumentative which rather spoiled some of the threads yesterday. Just the fact a post was in the In Memoriam section might make GN a gentler place. Well...I can hope!

Georgesgran Sat 20-Aug-22 19:25:47

Yes, a good idea.

kircubbin2000 Sat 20-Aug-22 19:32:40

I don't think it would work. I have no idea who any of these people are and I think it would only be a clique who would post. It would alienate the rest of us.

Germanshepherdsmum Sat 20-Aug-22 19:35:52

A brilliant idea. Others have already suggested fora which could be dispensed of and not missed. Rather like the Book of Remembrance in a crematorium chapel perhaps - a place which won’t be spoiled by others, where remembrances can be shared.

Kate1949 Sat 20-Aug-22 19:42:42

kurcubbin I think the suggestion is that posters could post about their own loved ones' special memories/anniversaries etc, not just Gransnetters. I only mentioned a previous poster as she sprung to mind.

rafichagran Sat 20-Aug-22 19:50:52

Good Idea.

ixion Sat 20-Aug-22 20:23:32

May I ask?
Would those to whom Phoenix was special (and have posted to that effect) think this is a good idea, or would it be too impersonal and 'open' for their personal comfort?

LauraNorderr Sat 20-Aug-22 21:10:13

I think it’s a lovely idea ixion. I too think of Grandmajet sometimes, a fun lady who was very brave.
It would be nice to have a place for grans we’ve lost to be remembered and also for our grans to mark the anniversary of the loss of someone they have loved and lost.

MiniMoon Sat 20-Aug-22 21:49:54

It's a lovely idea. Just the other day I read a post which reminded me of jinglebellsfrocks. I loved her irreverent sense of humour.

Deedaa Sat 20-Aug-22 22:00:01

I was only thinking about phoenix yesterday and how I miss her posts. You only had to read the heading to know it would be her.

dragonfly46 Sat 20-Aug-22 22:00:37

Lovely idea. I remember OldGaijin who died some time ago.
She used to take the mut for a walk every day.

baubles Sat 20-Aug-22 22:44:35

I’d like to mention Greatnan, it’s almost nine years since she died, that was a sad time on Gransnet.

Greenfinch Sat 20-Aug-22 23:05:43

Kate I remember willsandco.I often used to think about her and the way she so bravely faced her future.

Doodle Sat 20-Aug-22 23:14:30

Yes I think it’s a good idea too. I found what happened to the thread about Phoenix very upsetting. With this sort of thread people could post about family members and GN members. Nothing cliquey about it.
People often post how it was x years ago they lost their loved one.

Lucca Sat 20-Aug-22 23:59:32


I don't think it would work. I have no idea who any of these people are and I think it would only be a clique who would post. It would alienate the rest of us.

I think it would be perfectly acceptable

. But I’d like to put in a plea at this point for no more use of the “clique” word. People who have similar views or “know” someone in common are not a “clique”.