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Style & beauty

Feeling frumpy and old

(142 Posts)
lmm6 Wed 06-Feb-19 21:33:04

Always looked young for my age but now I don't think I do. I'm nearly 70. Skin not as good as it was. Hair thinning. Also I find I can't wear heels any more so end up wearing flat boots which, at my height of 5'5", make me look frumpy. Don't want to wear jeans but can't seem to find good-fitting trousers either. Constantly wear a hat to keep out the cold and to disguise my grey roots. Feel I am turning into an old lady whereas I used to feel quite glam right up to my late 50s I'd say. Would like to turn this around but not sure where to start.

GabriellaG54 Thu 07-Feb-19 10:35:34

1mm6
Right. Let's get you red carpet ready.
1) Plan a visit to a good modern hairdressers and make it clear when you ring that you only want a discussion/colour consultation at first.
2) When you do go, explain about the lack of fullness and that you want a style which will be easy to maintain and purse friendly colourwise.
3) Clothes. How about boots or shoes with a very small wedge heel? Go to a store where you can try on plenty of styles and walk up and down in them a few times to see which heel height suits you. A small block heel, about 1.5" might make you feel more dressy and they aren't wobbly like stilettos.
It depends on your figure and taste in clothes but in this weather, thick tights come in many colours and plain black leather block heels would look fine with any colour tights...or trousers.
I find the majority of M&S trousers far too thick but they have some nice dresses up to size 20/22.
I wouldn't be seen dead in anything frumpy so you can be assured that they have good day dresses that are knee length or midi (a few inches below) which are very on trend this year. Most of their clothes come in short, regular or long. I was in M&S yesterday buying two blouses and picking up an online chinos order. Well made and great colours.
Having your hair done sets the scene for other changes. You'll feel more alive and open to try new styles and colours of clothes that you may not have previously considered.
Take your daughter (if you have one) or a young friend and ask for their really honest opinion. You can have a fun outing and lunch or tea afterwards.
Here's to a new you for a new year.
Lots of luck and do let us know how you get on. We like good news stories on GN. smileflowers

GabriellaG54 Thu 07-Feb-19 10:37:54

MissA
You always have a witty observation. Makes me laugh out loud. Thanks.
grinflowers

Hollydoilly10 Thu 07-Feb-19 10:37:59

it's not the wrapping paper that defines us but the present inside.

Ksing Thu 07-Feb-19 10:44:21

Don’t do as I have! Bought a 10 x magnification mirror! Enough said! ???

GabriellaG54 Thu 07-Feb-19 10:44:30

Agreed Hollydoilly10 but if the wrapping doesn't look appealing you're not too excited to look any further. It's a fact of life.

inishowen Thu 07-Feb-19 10:56:56

I'm feeling old and beige at the moment. (I'm 66) I have suffered with a frozen shoulder since last summer. I also have bouts of vertigo so I've lost my zest. The sore shoulder stops me sleeping well. I've let my hair fade to grey, my eyebrows are all over the place, and the facial hair needs removing. I think this post is the kick up the bum I need. I have a hair dye to hand, maybe I'll use it today. An appointment with the beauty salon would sort out the rest.

GabriellaG54 Thu 07-Feb-19 10:59:08

I never wear anything on my skin other than untinted moisturiser with SPF 20 and at most, a light coat of mascara.
My hair and skin are my best assets and my hairdresser is a pearl.
I only wash my hair every two weeks but I brush it three or four times a day with my Mason Pearson boar bristle brush with my head upside down.
Because I don't use any product on it beyond shampoo and hair masque, it retains it's bounce and fullness.
As for clothes, I'm flat tummied so I can wear tops tucked in and belted although the trend is to only tuck in a portion which I copy.
No Hotter or Clarks or tunics for me.

Sheilasue Thu 07-Feb-19 11:01:28

Sometimes we need a bit of a makeover. I can’t wear heels anymore. Have some lovely nike trainers I wear with my leggings and long tops. My gd said I am cool.
You just need to go through your wardrobe and have a rummage or a clear out from time to time.
I have low heeled boots and flat shoes you can always find something to go with them.
I found an online magazine called country wives and it’s very helpful with styles, colours and what’s right for your shape. Just go fir it.

DotMH1901 Thu 07-Feb-19 11:02:00

I will be 64 this year and haven't been able to wear high heels since I was pregnant with my son 44 years ago. I have found really nice boots and shoes in the wider foot fitting ranges that are not frumpy even though they have hardly any heels. I finally decided to stop colouring my hair at Christmas and have had it cut short so the grey/white can grow through quickly, I was surprised there was actually less grey/white than I thought, I do like my hairstyle when the hairdresser does it but have always found having short hair a faddle so I will probably grow it out into an ear length bob instead. What I have noticed is that my love of dark blue clothing will have to change, it does drain any colour now my hair isn't dyed, looking at soft blues and pinks and even reds now! smile

MawBroon Thu 07-Feb-19 11:05:15

Inishowen you have my complete and sincere sympathy. Since September I too have had what has been diagnosed as frozen shoulder/tendinitis/osteoarthritis in my right shoulder by various doctors and I feel I have aged five years . My sleep is disturbed, I exercise less because of the pain, so I have put on weight and I feel my balance has been affected so I stick to flat shoes - all very ageing. My joie de vivre has taken a rain check and I am pinning my hopes on a second cortisone injection this afternoon.
It is true that what you feel inside shows on the outside!
Wishing you well.

Gonegirl Thu 07-Feb-19 11:08:50

Ksing I know JUST what you mean! Aaaargh! Tell me it's not true!

midgey Thu 07-Feb-19 11:14:16

Sounds we could all do with a bit of sunshine!

Niucla97 Thu 07-Feb-19 11:23:38

Love it Miss A!

My Mum always looked elegant , she was eighty two when my younger son married, The picture of proud Nan with the bride and groom is amazing, She was very fit, petite, never wore make up but had lovely skin, always had her hair done every week, was always shopping for clothes but never looked like'mutton dressed as lamb!' She always ate healthy, lot of chicken, fish, vegetables and fruit. Definitely NO beef (Mad Cow!!)

I remember taking her to a hospital appointment when she was ninety. The consultant advised that she used a stick to walk with. She told him in no uncertain terms that he was not turning her into an old woman! She lived to the ripe old age of ninety five.

I go for comfort, can no longer wear heels due to a foot problem but can't wear flats either so it is usually wedges.

Urmstongran Thu 07-Feb-19 11:24:45

Ladies such great tips and some laughs too on this thread. Special thanks to MissA and Maw for those!
Great advice about the white thick eyebrows from Carolpaint I always snip mine down & put on a tiny bit of brown (not black, too harsh) eyebrow tint.
Fabulous comments from Gabriella54 and I loved the ‘let’s get you red carpet ready’! I was excited to read on.

I think some days we look in a mirror and think ‘old dear’ and others ‘hmm not too shabby lady!’. Depends a bit on how we are feeling too.

Next time you get asked your age OP add a few years one and wait for exclamations of ‘wow you don’t look it!’. Hopefully. ??

mabon1 Thu 07-Feb-19 11:25:51

Never leave the house without lipstick and mascara, today I am wearing s white stuff tunic and jeggings, drop earrings and necklace to match - I'll be 78 shortly, age is only a number!!!

Heather51 Thu 07-Feb-19 11:29:30

I’m with you all the way Miss A. I’ve taken to retirement like a duck to water! No more smart suits, highlighted hair or daily makeup. I love it.grin

Gonegirl Thu 07-Feb-19 11:38:55

mabon1 You're going out aren't you? You don't really wear all that round the house. Do you?! I've not got the energy to put brooches on, and I'm younger than you. 77.

Gonegirl Thu 07-Feb-19 11:42:05

Mind you, I've got on a Superdry sweater over a Marks and Sparks shirt. With ancient black M and S joggers. So I'm not too shabby - apart from the fact that I've had the same things on since Saturday. shock

Grammaretto Thu 07-Feb-19 11:42:06

Dangerous to ask people to guess an age esp young ones. I had a big 0 birthday and had to say which one in case they guessed the next!
I also have a Milof 93 who still dresses well and always looks amazing. She is petite and that probably helps. Note to self : must eat well and less.

Herbie9 Thu 07-Feb-19 11:43:31

I needed a good laugh as my dh is in hospital and I certainly got that. So much to relate to and I'm an octogenarian. Shall be trying to find a poem that starts "I'm rich, I have gold in my teeth" but having a senior mo can't lay my hands on it. Perhaps another GN knows of this. Is'nt age just a number!

amt101 Thu 07-Feb-19 12:19:31

Lovely humorous replies that I can relate to. Thank you all for a gentle laugh.

farview Thu 07-Feb-19 12:22:58

BUT we're all still here...!!!
MissA as always you've made me smile...
I'm sure we're all beautiful on the inside...that's what counts...

Edithb Thu 07-Feb-19 12:25:15

My mother wore make up right to the end at 94 and I follow her example. I am also nearly 70 with thinning hair but I am growing it longer and have layers in it. I have it dyed every five weeks but the one thing that makes a huge difference to my dry and lifeless hair is GHD straighteners used with their heat protection spray, it would’ve my desert island luxury. I wear leggings and jeans with longer tops, or nice dresses in summer. I’m a fan of Liz Earle skin care and No 7 day creams with SPF.

Chino Thu 07-Feb-19 12:28:38

I am 80 and have noticed a big difference in my skin looking lined and my hair is definitely thinning but I have to take steroid tablets for polymyalgia at present which probably has not helped.
However I wear makeup every day (would not dream of going out without it) also colour my hair at home every 8 weeks or so.
Never wear high heels any more but still enjoy buying new clothes, usually bright colours as I feel black and grey do not help you to look good.
Strangely enough my 2 daughters who are in their 50s never wear makeup but it is something I have always done

Nanna58 Thu 07-Feb-19 13:02:36

I agree with the wonderful Nora Ephron about the level of maintenance now needed, I too am just “ 12 hours a week from looking like a bag lady”?