strange perhpas- but can getting older and less good looking help in some ways?

perhaps- should have checked, and can't correct, sorry.

Yes, I know now that if a man offers to help with anything when I am oot on my own, it is a genuine offer with no ulterior motive.

I was never the best looking girl in the street ..or even the house so this doesn't apply to me.I have found that friends whose looks fade as they get older find it much harder to believe they've lost their looks and sometimes resort to silly "girly" behaviour to make up for it .One in particular who flirts outrageously with every man in the room..just as well I know her and my OH as well as I do but she does p off other friends who have issues with their men being led astray ...lo

It's quite freeing (is that a word) not being involved in those silly social games Paddyann
I agree Ilovecheese no other motives and I find I'm not too bothered now if people like me or not. I am who I am, seventy odd years of life made me confident.

I miss it to be honest. At the risk of blowing my own trumpet I was rather OK and maintained it until I hit 55 and everything has gone wrong now. I didn't really appreciate that I had been blessed with reasonable looks when younger. But I quite liked looking OK. Now I just look like the crypt keeper

Minniemoo - of course I miss it too- but if you think about it- are there any aspects that could be positive in that loss?

I never regarded myself as good looking as I had much better looking friends.
I like to look nice but I do not worry too much about my appearance. What is inside is far more important.

I try and look nice and not dress “old” but I recognise I have plenty of confidence now which I didn’t have when I was young so don’t feel I have anything to lose and don’t really care what people think of me anymore. I am who I am . I try to be kind I think that is more important than looks

Yes. Although it's hard, not being seen as sexually attractive even by men older than me, there is a value in being invisible. You can get away with a lot because everyone just assumes you're old and past it!

I don't think I've lost my sex appeal, and I'm very sorry for anyone who has.

Good for you Gonegirl - but, with respect, that was not the question.

I peaked at 50. Now I do the best with what I’ve got. It’s really liberating not to give a S***. There are far more important things to care about.

I was replying to gagajo. Who appears to have lost any sex appeal she had.

I've always thought of myself as average and I've never been overly concerned about my looks, or relied on them for attention. I think I looked my best in my forties. I don't enjoy being ogled or whistled at anyway.

Age has been kind to me so far. Friends stress about a few extra pounds or wrinkles, but why bother. There's so many more things to involve and interest us when we can be our true selves. Happiness and confidence are very attractive anyway.

I think, when you're young, you keep worrying over your appearance.

As you age (in my case), I think you get less obsessed about it. I like to dress nicely and look reasonable but I don't worry too much about it.

I have seen one of your wedding pic Jura and you were gorgeous. As was (and probably still is) your dashing DH.
However it is what is inside that matters isn’t it and I feel that women whose only “trademark” has perhaps been their looks or big boobs or good legs fare less well than ordinary mortals as they age.
It is the faces with character who age best not the empty vain “cover girl” looks of their youth.
I once saw footage of some ageing celeb’s Birthday -the Playboy chap and his 16 glamorous “bunny girls” aka blonde bimbos along with some of his guests- trout pouts, faces lifted until they met round the back, boobs enhanced and lifted in total defiance of gravity and bottle blonde hair which convinced nobody.
What a pathetic, sad sight.
Compare that with the wrinkles but charm of Maggie Smith, our own HM, Judi Dench or Eileen Atkins, not to mention gorgeous Male silver foxes and you get my point!

I can give up worrying about sexual stuff

Jura, I'm curious as to the benefits you perceive to being less attractive now than in your youth.

I've always been a moderately attractive person, not beautiful by any means, but average. I think as I have aged I have gained confidence, and I believe that in itself adds attractiveness to a person in the way they carry themselves.

Hi Jura2. I'm trying to think of any positives but not getting far. I suppose I spend less on clothes and shoes! I guess it's just a transition which we get used to. My husband still finds me ravishing... funny chap... so I suppose that's all that matters. But it's an interesting question. Got me thinking!

I have never considered myself any sort of looker, just average and I have never relied on my looks for anything but always my character and personality.

They haven't changed and nor has my relationship with the outside world.

Last year I took Hattie with me to Chatsworth Flower Show and we were in the fabulous orchid tent when I heard a male voice behind me saying “Hello, aren’t you beautiful?”
I turned round and admitted that sadly it was not something I heard too often these days. We laughed, and he continued to make a fuss of Hattie before we went our separate ways

No need to feel sorry for me Gonegirl. We all age. My identity was never rooted in my big boobs anyway, more in my intelligence.

I think the 'not giving a shit' attitude to the opinions of others is a positive boon, as is losing all the inhibitions of youth.

My bloke on the other hand still obsesses and worries about his appearance. Give it up man! It's not dignified.

True Alexa. Sex is a lot more fun when all the anxieties are gone!

And YES Minniemoo! I can't bear shopping these days. My clothes last ages because I hate being forced to shop for replacements.

I think there is a level of invisibility thst comes with aging that can have good and bad effects.

I got a lot of male attention when I was younger and if I didnt act grateful for the unwanted attention I would be called a tease (just for having the physical proportions I had) and it could turn nasty

It is quite nice to fly under the radar a bit.

And I find that people underestimate you A LOT so I sort of enjoy surprising people. I went up against a young go getter for a promotion recently and they thought they had it in the bag and were surprised to lose out to me: I feel no need to brag about my CV and I guess I dont look the type to have done those things any more so they didnt realise what they were up against, but I knew all the cards they had to play!

But at the same time, not "looking the type" can be lonely, people think you are easily shocked just because you dont look like the wild young thing you were, so you only hear so much news etc