strange perhpas- but can getting older and less good looking help in some ways?

True Alexa. Sex is a lot more fun when all the anxieties are gone!

Oh the sex is SO much better as looks go!
No more posing just doing what feels good!

Thinning hair, sagging face/boobs, wrinkly hands and arms, disappearing lips, bunioned foot, varicose veins, facial hair ( thankfully only a little). I can't think of the positives. But feel free to tell me.
I liked being attractive. Men still get noticed when they are older. I feel invisible sometimes.

annepl, but looks based interest is so superficial! If someone likes you, enjoys your company now, they like all of you. Not just the pretty face and the alluring décolletage.

This is true Gagajo but I still miss being attractive. Pathetic I know.

I rarely miss it. I felt like a target/prey at times.

The kind of men who make it known to women that they dont know that they have "noticed" her for her body have an expectation that the women should always act bashful or grateful that they noticed them, and if you dont giggle/blush/smile as expected it cam turn unpleasant!

It was tiring like always being "aware" to not act in ways that they could say led them on.

I also felt sad every time I thought I made a male friend only to find out that they were only being nice to me to try to get a shag... its easier to have genuine frienships with men now which I enjoy

I have to confess that this thread has me a little

Surely, we are what we are? My body has changed but so has my personality. I don't think I ever was aware of what people (presumably men!) thought of me and I am not now.

Presumably I wasn't beautiful enough to warrant that much attention, nor am I now!

The people who matter seem to like me - family and friends.

Apologies if I have misunderstood the concept of the thread.

I have never been what could be described as pretty, attractive, good looking or even cute. I have been plain all my life . As I get older I am still plain but with saggy jowls, pathetic hair and a flabby tummy.

A few months ago I happened to bump into a few girls I went to school with and they all looked amazing, older (obviously) but still very attractive and well kept. I felt like a clip.

kittylester, my feeling exactly. notanan makes being attractive sound so unpleasant.

I worked most of my life in a predominantly male engineering environment. I was not remotely flirtatious, I was not brought up to be so. I had an air of confidence and I was direct and could take flak so found working in that environment very comfortable, but I was aware of other intelligent educated women who were naturally flirtatious, they were brought up to be so, and would have been horrified had they realised how they were behaving and how they came over in this male environment.

I am happy being invisible and cannot understand why so many of my peers spend excessive time, money and energy on their appearance when nobody notices. (e.g. Botox £165 according to the sign in my dentist's)

Recently my life-long (since age 16) French friend marvelled that unlike her I have no wrinkles. Not quite true, but she DOES have a lot, and I DO have less ;-)) She has always felt the need to be thin, whereas I've not. TBH I've let it go a bit. But I think the fleshy bits on one's face can do a great job for filling in!! If I did have lots of wrinkles, I'd call them laughter lines. So much other stuff to fret about. Chin up!!

I remember a friend of my sister once saying that she gave her (now ex) husband a choice . You can have me overweight and wrinkle free or skinny with wrinkles .

Problem is monica, when you have certain proportions, it is assumed you are flirtatous when you are definitely not doing anything of the sort.

I wasnt cutsey/pretty looking but was thin but very curvy and that gave people certain exoectations/preconceptions

Always taken pride in my appearanve but havent been particularly attractive.I still like to "take pride in my appearance" as my Mother taught me, but enjoy my age at present and take the good with the bad.These days it doesnt matter as much what people think about me I am who I am.

I now get taken more seriously which matters a lot more to me. I can look professional now without looking like Im out to "impress" in the other sense!

notanan I wasn't specifically thinking of you but of women I have worked with, especially one, where her long cloud of curly hair, big eyes and winsome manner, which I do not think she was aware of, stopped her being taken seriously, despite being well qualified and intelligent.

I can see that a curvaceous figure causes problems but this can be diminshed by the way you choose to dress, I do not being dowdy but in a style that plays down these assets. I cannot make suggestions as I was fairly boyish in shape.

I never felt that I was very attractive until a few weeks ago when I was looking at some pictures of me, taken about 45years ago. I was taken aback at how pretty I looked! So sad that I didn’t have the confidence to feel beautiful all those years ago. (But somehow I did manage to attract a very handsome husband! ?)

I think I used to look good when I was young then in midlife I put on some weight and looked decidedly dull and boring but I find now at almost 70 I look a lot better - or maybe it's my eyesight!

I have been happily single (divorced) for so many years, I couldn't live any other way. I enjoy having male friends, however sometimes it is assumed that I am part of a couple with one (or another!) male neighbour and people can't accept that I am happily on my own. The only time I miss attention (from looking pretty good when I was younger) is when I am travelling. Up to about 15 years ago, I always seemed to have someone chat with me or offer to buy me a drink (men) but now I clearly just blend in with the wallpaper. Can't say I mind though, I always something to read, or just people watch.

No!

Most of my adult life men talked to my boobs! At long last that has stopped!

I have always been short fat and ugly so I really wouldn’t know

I can see that a curvaceous figure causes problems but this can be diminshed by the way you choose to dress

When you have big boobs and a small frame the only way to hide them is to wear a sack. Simply wearing taylored cloths that fit have you accused off showing off your assets!

kitty 'I have to confess that this thread has me a little confused

Surely, we are what we are? '

I did expect some people to find the question strange, that is fine. But some have alluded to the fact men spoke to them looking at their boobs rather than listening. I have younger friend who is a very Senior partner in her firm- and she told me that putting on weight and becoming less than a sexy bombshell, helped her being taken more seriously, both by colleagues and partners (as in business). And I get that- even though I find it a shame it often has to be so. Same with some women surgeons I know.

What made me ask, is that I suddenly realised recently- that the wonderful relationship I have with many young men - could never be so if I had retained my sexy shape and appeal - and that it also affects the way their girlfriends see me and respond to me- as I can't be seen as 'Mrs Robinson'. They come and stay and we have a fabulous time and lots of fun and silliness and hugs even- which we could never do otherwise. And that that is great and new to me- and a positive.

It's a no from me also.