strange perhpas- but can getting older and less good looking help in some ways?

But I'm bewildered by how someone recognises that they have sex appeal - do I, did I ever? Probably not but how would i know?

Its not so much "sex appeal" as sexual attention IYKWIM

kitty! You can tell by the way men look at you.

Obviously not then!

I also look at photos of myself taken years ago and think whow I was pretty after all. I was never confident about my looks and could never be sure about the opposite sex and their motives. All that has changed now and that is down to my age.

There are times when I find I am invisible to mostly the young but when out on my bike cycling its a different matter which I believe is because I am sharing a sport that you don't see so many older women in their 70's doing and its not on an electric bike either.

I agree with Notanan2 re being curvy. Regardless of what you're wearing, you do attract the wrong kind of attention, which you can well do without. Some men never grow up, it seems.

Curves when you're older make you look more "matronly" which I dont mind at all.

I would rather be seen as a matronly figure than as a "sure thing"

Yes and no. We morph and so do our looks and perceptions of life.
I think we grow into being more accepting of age and change and are more comfortable and, dare I say, confident.

I never was pretty but had more than my share of boyfriends and proposals. I am often surprised by my popularity among friends, my children's friends and RL people in general.

I try to dress well, never say yes to invites when I mean no. I'm generous but no pushover and will, to an extent, put myself out for others.
I know my limits but I'm fiercely independent in most circumstances.

One guy I 'met' online at the same time and on the same site where I met my OH 6 years ago, still texts and rings wanting to meet.
He was (still is) too wrapped up in his sport to be interesting company. An Olympic and European multi winning medallist, I would have thought he'd have more interest in women in their 20s 30s even 40s but he says they're bland with no conversation or personality, who h is precisely what he lacks and yes, I've told him.
He asked me to educate him...theatre, art, books, politics...life.
They were not his initial interests ??
I'm contented as I am, my cup runneth over and every day brings new things to learn and pleasures to enjoy such as the huge box of strawbs just purchased in Tesco awaiting a blanket of cream. ???

who h which

I worked with a lot of men for ten years. I wore office clothes - nothing sexy. I did my job well and was taken seriously. They all treated me very well and spent a lot of time chatting to me and inviting me to join them for lunch, walks etc. They obviously enjoyed my company. "Shagging" was never mentioned.
So maybe it didn't depend on my looks but I liked when I looked good. I felt more confident.

I think as you get older you relax about your appearance more. If people can't love me because of what I look like they are shallow. I am not my grey hair or my wrinkled face. I am the person inside this body. I want to be loved because of who I am, not what I look like

I have worked with all men for almost 30 years . I did manage one proposal....my DH.

I wish I had a tiny bit of the confidence you have in yourself GabriellaG I really do. I have been brought up not to show off or shine in any way and would like to be able to accept a (rare) compliment or walk out of the house with my head held high with that feeling that I am as good as the next person.

I recall being younger, gorgeous (didn't know it then) and agonising over a twat of a bloke who was older, uglier, dimmer and not worth a second of my attention.

Do I miss being pretty, with big boobs and a little waist? A little bit I suppose, BUT I wouldn't trade the peace of mind I have now for the stress and anxiety of youth for a second!

I'm always amazed when people wish they could have their time again. No thanks! It was a slog.

GabriellaG54 very well put. I recently met "face to face" I was going to say in the flesh some-one I met through a mutual friend on fb. I have known my original friend for over 30 years. My new friend & I messaged on fb, then exchanged phone numbers, we've spent hours on the phone. When we did meet it was just the same as chatting on the phone, I've gained a great friend, being older there is a different expectation, personality is much more important than looks alone.

One of the things I've noticed is that young men flirt & flatter easily as you've no expectations of anything more. I have many male friends & yes people do assume you're a couple when you're not.

I was always fairly confident when I was younger, now I dress for myself rather than to enhance what God gave me, I find it easier to talk to people & of course listen.

I dont like the aging process, the aches and pains the sight issue and the crepey skin!!! BUt i do feel more confident and find it easier in social circles to talk and not worry that i'm not cool or clever enough to contribute to a conversation. There are pluses and minus in all ages i guess. When we are young we are beautiful but didnt
know it and many of us when younger lacked confidence. IN mid life we were wrappped up in in our families so much we were what we were and now we have reached the third age we can relax a little.

I'm 72 and I've always been ok looking, never beautiful. My husband met me at the airport when I'd been to stay with a friend and said I looked beautiful walking towards him. I was surprised and touched. I always smile a lot, I find this helps.

I was fat and wore specs and braces, but then morphed into a better looking situation - there was so much room for improvement! I did enjoy a moment at a school reunion when I was in my twenties, seeing two girls who had been so bitchy, and bullied me when I was about thirteen, open mouthed at the transformation. One actually came up and asked it was really 'me'. (Probably still being bitchy but I didn't care then) Aside from that small triumph I have never given my looks any thought. Old photos tell me now that I was not bad looking, but any attempt to gaze into a mirror in my home was squashed very firmly!

I'm always amazed when people wish they could have their time again. No thanks! It was a slog.

Absolutely agree!

I feel more confident in some ways,being older and wiser has venefits, of course.
But here's an example of what I don't like. My art teacher was telling me something very interesting as I packed up. I found myself hoping he wasn't looking at me as I was bent down packing my bag. Try leaning forward with a mirror and watch how your face sags. I absolutely hate the physical effects of aging.

This is all quite amusing to me.
I sometimes look in the mirror, groan a little and out on a little make up but not too often because I don’t recognise me!
Yesterday I went to the local store bought some groceries when I checked the receipt I started laughing because I’d been given over 60s discount and hadn’t been asked if I was.....then I laughed louder because I realized it was fair enough as I am over 60 and probably look it and who actually cares apart from me.
So I consider myself lucky to have family who still care about me as nobody else is interested all 5hey see is an old woman!

I never thought I was attractive, still don’t- the big thing now is I DON’T CARE!!! In others I can recognise beauty on the inside and try hard to be ‘nice’ in the broadest sense

Would hate to be thought of as Matronly! A heavyweight older woman Yuck

Would hate to be thought of as Matronly! A heavyweight older woman Yuck

Its preferable to what preceeds it if you are "top heavy"

Its a relief even.

I’m with you Pensionpat....I peaked at 45....and now although men don’t look....I find I don’t care...it’s so liberating! I intend to enjoy the freedom from trying to conform to men’s expection!

The best bit about being older and invisible is you can do whatever the hell you like. Mostly it goes unnoticed and if it IS noticed, people thing you're a mad old bag and dismiss you.