Morning dress

Callistemon - I am interested that you think it 'presumptuous' to ask guests to adhere to a dress code - so do I - but we wonder if it is 'presumptuous' of us to ignore their wishes?

I hope it wasn't the wrong word but I remember having instructions many years ago about what would be expected attire for one of my DC at a family wedding (he was 4 at the time) so spent unnecessary money on something he would never wear again only to find the brides' nephews had refused to obey the dress code!
Nowhere in the region of the cost of a morning suit, of course, but expenses we could ill afford.

Hire from Moss Bros is not as expensive as I thought it might be, but it all adds up to a considerable sum with travel, hotel, gift etc.

I suppose you may have to grit your teeth and paste a smile on your faces if you are very fond of your nephew and he wants you there.

And take heart from the fact that almost all men look good in morning dress .....

Can't argue with that, Moss Bros (other hire companies available)

Have a look in the charity shops for your hat/ fascinator. I've seen some lovely ones .

From my experience you can say morning dress till you are blue in the face but there is always somebody who ignores the request. I would have a word with the bridegrooms mother just to check and then if everybody else is following the rules its off to Moss Bros who will sort it all out. Your clothes sound lovely, I have a fascinator here which would just do ...sorry.

Both my daughters had ‘morning dress’ weddings. Plenty of men wore morning dress and plenty of them wore suits. One of my brothers wore MD, one brother and a brother in law wore a suit. As MoB I was quite happy with men wearing suits. I wore a hat both times, the MOGs wore fascinators and the lady guests wore a variety of head ware or nothing at all.

I went to a wedding that specified men in black tie and ladies to be glamorous. It was fab. Everyone looked great. Was lovely to dress up. I wore a hat tho but no one else did! Surprised me.
Re your dilemma. I’d ask.

Very many apologies. I have computer issues, and thought my first post hadn't 'taken' - indeed it did not show up all afternoon, now suddenly I can see them both! I do appreciate everyone's thoughtful input. I have shared some of these thoughts with DH, and asked him to talk to the family and make a decision from there.

I’d phone the bride’s mother and clarify what she means by morning dress. To my mind it’s just smart suit etc. Have a good time when you go. X

Hmm. hard to see how the parents, if asked, could actually insist - but they might quietly feel annoyed to be asked and that they were undermining the couple themselves, who presumably made the decision.

I have been to one or two weddings where morning dress was specified, and in fact several of the male guests turned up in lounge suits - and I think that's quite formal enough. Frankly, if I were you, I wouldn't worry, life's too short.

Some amdram theatre companies have morning suits for hire from their wardrobe departments. (We do in Torquay!) Could be cheaper than Moss Bros.

send a note to ask does morning dress mean every guest or is it just the wedding party as it would be helpful to know. You don't want to be embarrassed or embarrass your nephew either. what would be annoying is hiring the clothes and at the wedding others in smart suits and nice dresses like you have at home.

It's their day so give them what they want. The cost of hiring morning dress is not very much in the big picture.

For both my children's weddings it was morning dress for the bridal party, and I felt flattered that other guests marked the occasion by coming in morning dress.

I think it depends on how much you want to go....yes morning dress can be hired and I bet 100% that 100% of the wearers will have done that....but honestly....my first thought was what a pity you had booked the hotel!

Your dress sounds lovely, but I would never go to a wedding without a hat - makes the outfit special. I think your husband should consider hiring a morning suit (check if it is to be black or grey) but I doubt he would need a top hat.

Dress up and enjoy the day.

My thoughts too

Unless you move in circles where you either get your Dad's morning suit handed down or buy it at 18 and keep it for life I think it's quite ridiculous to expect people to have to pay out for this. To some it will be "inexpensive" to others "less expensive" and to some, it will mean not going to the wedding. It's time to stop the brides expecting they can have everything they want. They can do exactly what they want but this sort of dictation on the cost for others is ridiculous and they sound like spoilt brats.

In our family it is usual for family / relations to wear morning dress for the actual ceremony and black tie for the evening meal, hubby bought black tie outfit several years ago from Asda, and he hires morning dress. Just custom for many families.

Our daughters eased the dress code, immediate family wore morning suits but the dress code for everyone else was lounge suits. Our own wedding was anything you like!

I suppose at the end of the day dress codes etc are down to the couple and their immediate family. It's a bit rude to ignore the dress code.

Your outfits sound great - not everyone wears hats but a fascinator would finish the outfit. Morning suits are usually only worn by the wedding party - much cheaper to hire than everyone buying a suit!! Have a lovely day.

Why are so many people questioning Tilley hat. Does it really matter. Many areas have different names for things. Sounds as if people are trying to be clever... how childish. Re the original post. It sounds as if you are already going to considerable expense to go to this wedding. A morning suit will be an expensive extra. Your outfit sounds lovely and definitely suitable. You could hire a hat of maybe ask friends if they have something suitable that you could borrow. Definitely ask a family member though before going to extra expense. It sounds to me if all this fuss is just about how the photos will look... just my opinion of course

Tilley hat is a brand....its an hat designed for outdoor pursuits and a joke!

This is an example of a Tilley hat. As somebody already said it’s a type of bush hat, Tilley is the brand name.
Even with a flower I wouldn’t wear it to a wedding.
To answer the OPs question, check with the groom’s mother whether morning dress is expected from all the guests, though if that’s whats on the invitation then I guess it means everybody. A hat for ladies is also correct rather than a fascinator, but again you can hire or buy from a charity shop.
Black Tie is usual for the evening and ladies usually wear either long or cocktail dresses.
I’m sure you’ll get it sorted out and you’ll have a wonderful day and you won’t feel either under or overdressed.

Sorry, forgot to post the picture of the Tilley Hat