Do you want to look "smart"

I don't aim for 'smart' either. I aspire to 'stylish', but am not sure I always achieve it . I don't know that I have a particular 'look' - I dress for myself and it varies day to day, but the main thing is comfort. I think it is impossible to look good (however you define that) if you have a pained expression because your shoes are too tight or you are worried about your neck or hemlines.

I think the problem here is simply vocabulary. I'll probably get cancelled for saying it but women tend to have a broader and often more subtle range of words to describe things. For example, my husband described any colour in a range, from baby pink to burgundy, as red! So smart probably covers any outfit that's not positively scruffy.

I meant glamours which is what typed but was changed by predictive text.

I think you meant glamorous?

icanhandthemback

It doesn't matter what I wear, I always end up looking like a Ragbag after an hour. The other day I got ready to go to see my mother in hospital. I changed my clothes to smart casual, washed my face and hands, brushed my hair and I thought I looked quite reasonable. My husband said I looked nice and I replied that my mother would probably make some negative comment. The first thing she said to me was how scruffy I looked and I could have brushed my hair. Honestly, it was a 20 minute journey and a 20 metre walk from the car to the hospital door. How on earth can things have changed that much?

I was thinking to myself that I might get one of those "colour" things done to find my best colours and make up a set of matching outfits and then I thought, is there any point?

sorry I had to restart my brouser it was quoting the wrong post and i didnt notice . I am sure that is just a mother older a certain generation thing. My mother is so negative, she is always telling me I am fat I am a size8/10 and always have been (much smaller in my teens) my hair is dyed too much (it is natural ) My clothes don’t suit me. I am dressed too young, too frumpy too girly too masculine. Jeans are too young for a person of your age so on and so on. My sisters do not actually bother with their appearance and she doesn’t do it to them, only me.
I would listen to your husband, unless your car is a soft top with the top down its unlikely your hair was a mess.

lizzypopbottle

I think the problem here is simply vocabulary. I'll probably get cancelled for saying it but women tend to have a broader and often more subtle range of words to describe things. For example, my husband described any colour in a range, from baby pink to burgundy, as red! So smart probably covers any outfit that's not positively scruffy.

Mine tends to default to 'quite nice' (which he applies to food, too). Maddening, but if he says it unasked for I take it as a compliment. I think it's to avoid getting into a conversation about fashion.

Germanshepherdsmum

I think you meant glamorous?

Yes Thank you . ( always someone on here ready to jump on a Typo ) Makes me so anxious that I make more typos

My short answer to the original question is “No” (I don’t want to look smart). I wouldn’t want to look scruffy if I’m out in public, but equally I wouldn’t feel relaxed and comfortable wearing, say, ‘slacks’, a crisp white blouse, a navy blazer with gold buttons, navy kitten heels, a blue handbag with a gold chain handle - which is how I think of ‘smart’.

My mother was both smart and elegant, it just instinct in her, and her mother before her. As a child I was always being told how well-dressed my mother was, with always had the implied query in it, why are you such a mess?

I saw a dear older lady the other day (in her late 70's). She was wearing wide cropped white trousers with a relaxed long sleeved T shirt. She looked great! Comfie modern and stylish.

My late husband often bought clothes for me & was always generous with his comments on how I dressed
Now no one ever comments
I’ve probably had my quota for this lifetime

Maybe your DH is just not very good with words OP. I like to look smart with clothes choices which I hope are flattering, suitable for the occasion and feminine but not floaty if you see what I mean.

We all have our individual style, don't we?

Personally,I aim for. clean and tidy.

I am still working as a private music teacher teacher and l think my dress sense reflects this. I love colourful clothes, especially red, gold, green and pink. My favourite brands are Joe Browns, Seasalt and Popsy. I often buy my clothes on eBay as otherwise I could not afford them. I was thrilled to find a Popsy dress on eBay with musical symbols printed on it and wore it for my pupils’ concert on Saturday. I love accessories and usually wear a necklace and brooch as well as rings. I like Red or Dead Ziggy shoes, too. My mother calls my style flamboyant, which is only half complimentary as she has always dressed in a very conservative manner. Her idea has always been clean, comfortable and smart. I am a lot more outgoing than her, though.
I think the old lady style that so many of us wish to avoid is that of the late Queen Mother or Margaret Rutherford in her Miss Marple role. My grandmothers adopted this look from an early age - very smart but not how I would ever wish to dress. The short curly perm, aided by the weekly shampoo and set, the clothes (never trousers) in fifty shades of beige, the stewed tea coloured tights and matching shoes and handbag. I loved them dearly but have never wanted to imitate their style.

Perhaps looking at the original question "How do you aim to look? And what reactions do you get from nearest and dearest?"

Classic tailored smart - like myself.

My husband likes how I look. He is what matters, nobody else. He usually says something flip as "do you have on undies? Let's have a look". His expressions, we all have our way to show what we think.

I spend most of my time in jeans, T-shirt, sometimes a smart top or cashmere sweater. I would love to wear really cool jeans, a Chanel style jacket a nice dress but feel that I never have anywhere to go in these clothes and my dog doesn't care.

I met an acquaintance while in the town this morning and she remarked “Ooh you look lovely, where are you off to?” I felt pleased! I was going to pop into M&S! 😂

Bella23

My DH is always very careful what he says and it's "You look nice"' if I have made an effort. His father always said" Tidy"' to MIL and she went crazy because she took a great deal of effort with her appearance.
I listen to DD's opinion most and often follow what they say. They buy me makeup and accessories or get me colours they say I suit. My DH was the one who called me "Care home chic" last year. I've upped my game since then. I relaxed quite a lot after leaving work.

Oh but ‘Tidy’ is a Welsh ( in particular) word that means “ you look great” , with graduations to “ wow she’s sexy “ depending on the subject.
Never heard the phrase “ ooh she’s tidy “ til I moved to Wales back in the 1960s . It does not mean tidy as in “everything’s tidy in this room”.
Your MIL should have been flattered!

Mandy74, Gosh, that sounds rather dated, 20 years ago I might have dressed like that, but not now. My navy blazer was replaced by a smart denim jacket years ago, my kitten heels would be pumps or smart trainers, the crisp white shirt would probably be a good quality white T shirt.

I'm sorry, eddiecat, but your account of your husband telling your daughter she looked smart in her wedding dress made me laugh out loud!
I'm sure it's just a vocabulary thing; he uses the word 'smart' to cover a wide range of situations.

suelld

Bella23

My DH is always very careful what he says and it's "You look nice"' if I have made an effort. His father always said" Tidy"' to MIL and she went crazy because she took a great deal of effort with her appearance.
I listen to DD's opinion most and often follow what they say. They buy me makeup and accessories or get me colours they say I suit. My DH was the one who called me "Care home chic" last year. I've upped my game since then. I relaxed quite a lot after leaving work.

Oh but ‘Tidy’ is a Welsh ( in particular) word that means “ you look great” , with graduations to “ wow she’s sexy “ depending on the subject.
Never heard the phrase “ ooh she’s tidy “ til I moved to Wales back in the 1960s . It does not mean tidy as in “everything’s tidy in this room”.
Your MIL should have been flattered!

Well, that's interesting he wasn't a miner but lived in a mining community and went to Chapel. Do you think it might be related to the Welsh mining communities? His "Tidy lass"' drove her mad.

‘Tidy’ is used in the NE, too. I was quite taken aback the first time this compliment was paid to me when dressed up to go out for the evening! In fact, at the time, I think I felt a bit offended! I wondered how untidy I was the rest of the time! 😏😆

I'm from the hippie/mod generation so for me 'smart' is something my older cousin would have worn. I was a Biba girl, The cousin wore smart suits (on the knee skirts, neat collars) and court shoes. In my head I'm still the Biba girl and I wear slightly offbeat clothes. Never jeans - I don't have the essential long legs for those.

I just want to look….. quietly elegant and sultry. I just wish my other half would wear anything….. ANYTHING ….other than shorts and a check shirt and a gilet. If he came home and said he wanted to wear-a frock I’d get more excited. I would love to make clothes for him. I would love it if he unexpectedly said “Let’s go shopping for clothes”. I’ve been telling him he needs new sandals from this time two years ago, but it’s never the right time to “try a pair on”. Would it surprise you if I told you he was a naturist. He never likes fuss in the clothing department. Never has. Thankfully he’s still got a sexy pair of legs at 74!

Mandy74

My short answer to the original question is “No” (I don’t want to look smart). I wouldn’t want to look scruffy if I’m out in public, but equally I wouldn’t feel relaxed and comfortable wearing, say, ‘slacks’, a crisp white blouse, a navy blazer with gold buttons, navy kitten heels, a blue handbag with a gold chain handle - which is how I think of ‘smart’.

Agreed.

Good quality blazers still exist. Alongside bright pink jeans jackets, black jean jackets and all other sort of jackets.

[John Lewis: Hobbs Ophelia Jacket, Black. price was£159.00,
price now£110.00]

Heels and kitten heels still exist alongside trainers and sandals as well. Whatever else would one wear to (say) Church?

[John Lewis: L.K.Bennett Reagan Lizard-Effect Leather Slingback Court Shoes, Black, price was£299.00, price now£209.00]

Not sure why prices are included in the copy paste, oh well.