Looking and feeling “matronly”

I used to enjoy Gok Wan's Style and Beauty programme.
Gok always started with the underwear. Outer garments were transformed once the basics were addressed. I'd suggest starting with a bra fitting consultation. Try Bravissimo or similar.

I’m useless as I live and in denim Jeggings and baggy tops in the winter and vaguely hippy dresses and skirts and t-shirts in the winter. I’m overweight with a big bosom but no longer shy away from bright colours.

Isn’t ‘Matronly’ such a descriptive term - unfortunately, it describes me to a T!

It’s thick black denim leggings and a v neck black Tshirt for me today. I’ll liven it up with a pink cross body bag later.

Wear some bright coral lipstick. And avoid ‘beige’.

Its a grand word that isn't it? Used to be something to relish, the days when you were allowed to be matronly. Hattie Jacques or Cissy and Ada.

Now its all pilates and clean eating . The gym every morning, dressed as a sausage in lycra.

I agree with the advice about good underwear - if it’s pretty as well, that makes you feel good. If you are quite big all over, Kit and Kaboodle is one place that does flattering,, cheerful, cheapish clothes that are not matronly
- www.kitandkaboodal.com/?utm_campaign=SEARCH_Brand&utm_campaign=897759776&utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_term=kit%20and%20kaboodle&gad_source=1&gclid=EAIaIQobChMI-oTdj_nIhgMVTpJQBh3CVA2WEAAYASAAEgIhafD_BwE.

That may not be your style, I appreciate.

Another vote for good underwear, and wear colours that suit you, including lipstick 💄 in the right shades. And don’t forget to smile 😀

Well…..I had a voucher from a nice shop and took dil along to help me select a purchase.
Amazingly I came away with what I would have completely dismissed as beige a beautiful long sleeved blouse in what was described as Almond.
I can honestly say it’s ( the most expensive) stunning but I wouldn’t have given it a second glance without some help and encouragement.
So that’s my advice….. get out there with someone who is honest and move away from your comfort zones.

Avoid wearing all black. One of the biggest myths is that black will hide the fact that you are big or bosomy. It doessn't it just emphasises your size and draws people's eye to analyse you to work out why you dress all in black.

Wear a tops that are coloured I say it like that because the colour doesn't have to be brash or brilliant or colourful, but just a colour or pattern.

Follow people who know how to dress well on YouTube, and experiment with different shapes and styles of clothes. One I really like is Helen Mary Jo, she’s in her sixties and a size 18, she just has the gift of putting things together and looking up to date (and she’s really funny too).

Trish29 - I feel I could have written that opening!
I, too, have large breasts and really dislike them. I just feel nothing looks good and I certainly don't feel good.
I'm amazed when I read that women, mainly young women, say that they want a breast enlargement.

Try Gudrun Sjoden clothes.. unusual. great colours and really suit older, larger women..

I am big busted and can look very "matronly" in the wrong thing.
I am narrow at the shoulder so lots of things just emphasise my bosom!
I'm better with a shirt-type or (open a little) stand up collar with a v shaped shirt opening.
I like linens and have several shirts (as above) which work with cropped but slim trousers.

I am reasonably in proportion but am a size 18/20 and only 5'3". I am not massively into fashion but don't want to feel frumpy and matronly.

Over the years this is what I have learned:

- a decent bra is essential. Minimiser bras are available but not having very large boobs, I haven't tried one
- that regular t shirts are very unflattering and make me look more boxy than I already am.
- cap sleeves and no sleeves are unflattering. I prefer three quarter sleeves
- Blouses or shirts with a collar and a couple of buttons open are much more flattering.
- Blouses/shirts without ruffles and not shiny material are preferable
- I don't suit the wide leg trousers that are the current fashion. They make me look even more dumpy
- I don't wear any top that ends at my waist. My belly is my worst area.
- I don't wear black near my face unless I am also wearing a colourful scarf.
- I don't have to wear dark drab colours.
- I have kind of learned to accept that this is the size I am. I have been on endless diets and always end up back where I started. I like food and wine too much
- natural fabrics look much less frumpy than shiny polyester.
- clingy tops - or clingy anything - are a definite no for me, otherwise I feel like Mr Michelin
- I will never look like my slim size 10 friend so I have stopped beating myself up about it

This is just my findings. I don't expect everyone to agree.

I do like the way Prue Leith dresses. She isn't skinny and, in my opinion, always looks great

John Lewis do a style make over, why not check them out? You will be surprised what they select for you to try on.

https://www.gransnet.com/uploads/talk/202406/medium-470745-img-3387.jpeg https://www.gransnet.com/uploads/talk/202406/medium-240735-img-3382.jpeg https://www.gransnet.com/uploads/talk/202406/medium-529050-img-3385.jpeg

How tall are you trish29? And what size in clothes, roughly? Whose style do you like? Do you have a fair bit to spend on clothes, or are you looking for budget lines / second hand items? I’ve just browsed Pinterest as I’m waiting in the dentist…..!

I like to sit and people watch looking for inspiration, that way you can see what looks good on someone the same size/age in an ordinary setting.

In pictures , like the one above,or on video the models are standing a certain way with a lovely background which looks good but wear that outfit in Tesco, that maxi dress and chunky boots you will have people smirking.

There is a lady in our town, about 70,that wears a tarten mini skirt and platform boots, she has bright orange hair and is always in full makeup, she must be happy like that but is often talked about and laughed at.

Notch collars suit me. Obviously worn with my excellent bras!

Also, dress wise this shape is fabulous.
Mine is covered in roses and a cotton/viscose jersey.
I always feel great in it.

chescadirect.co.uk/products/claret-jersey-drape-dress-with-button-placket?variant=42503650312378¤cy=GBP&adscale=1&utm_campaign=PMax_GB+%5BGoogle+Shopping%5D+Google&utm_id=18286939346&utm_medium=paid+shopping&device=m&creativeId=&network=x&utm_source=google&site_source_name=adscale_pmax&gad_source=1&gclid=CjwKCAjw34qzBhBmEiwAOUQcFwUcVSRYhcxFfXNfE_BesGka-h7J0zTo0lfnj6Dz0ukRlPjoNNcYZxoCicUQAvD_BwE

Why can't people just wear what they are comfortable in? Why are we still pressured into wearing particular sorts of clothes after a whole lifetime of being told what we should be wearing?

I relish the freedom to think for myself about what I want to wear, where to buy it from, and where to wear it1

keepingquiet

Why can't people just wear what they are comfortable in? Why are we still pressured into wearing particular sorts of clothes after a whole lifetime of being told what we should be wearing?

I relish the freedom to think for myself about what I want to wear, where to buy it from, and where to wear it1

I don’t think anyone’s pressurising - we should, absolutely, wear what we like and what we feel comfortable in - but sometimes you just feel the need for something new / a different look / some new ideas? I love getting new (to me) clothes and wearing them cheers me up and makes me feel good.

keepingquiet

Why can't people just wear what they are comfortable in? Why are we still pressured into wearing particular sorts of clothes after a whole lifetime of being told what we should be wearing?

I relish the freedom to think for myself about what I want to wear, where to buy it from, and where to wear it1

If somebody asks for help, shouldn’t we try to help by passing on what works for us? I think most of us want to look and feel good as well as being comfortable - it’s fine if you don’t care about that, but trish29 does.

Why do people assume that dressing comfortably means dressing without style. I have always dressed comfortably and others tell me that I dress with style.

I am always interested in reading peoples queries and this one is from someone asking for other people's views on the best way to dress for her shape. No reason to think that any of the suggestions mean she has to dress comfortably.

Comfort includes mental comfort as well as physical comfort,

Love that dress Not Spaghetti. I agree that finding people on YouTube or Pinterest to follow who are your shape, and checking our their style, is really helpful. There are loads in over 50s age groups of all shapes and sizes with a variety of styles. Seeing how something could look on your shape can make a huge difference to what you feel comfortable in. I would agree with the getting the under garments right, it helps with how clothes hang on your shape. You don't even have to make a lot of changes, maybe just a different neckline or shape of top.

It's not about copying someone else, it's about getting ideas for what you may feel comfortable in, what may suit you, how to put your own spin on a dress/skirt/trousers and make it look right for you. It costs nothing, takes no effort, can be done at any time and is often more fun than watching TV.

There are some helpful ideas here.
I've found that anything with a high neck emphasises the bust so I prefer a V neck or a scoop neck.
Also certainly never, ever anything stretchy or clingy as it just clings in all the wrong places!
I have started losing weight so I'm hopeful I'll lose it from my bust.