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People who post on Facebook

(62 Posts)
Nooshboosh Sat 10-Sep-22 12:21:22

Do you think that people who post on FB showing how happy they are in their relationship are really trying to convince themselves and others that they are happy when they may not be? People who put photos of how happy they are, how amazing their partner is, what a fab time they are having, where they have been together, smily selfies of them as a couple, showing the perfect family - is it a cover up of people who feel they have something to prove? I hear that a lot from friends and colleagues but I am not so sure. I think if I was and I was in a fairly new relationship I would want to show it off to my friends. I don't think there is anything wrong with that. I do however know of someone who I suspects posts a lot about her new- ish relationship as a way of letting his estranged wife that they are having a good time, I am friends with both of them. Another good friend posted idyllic pics of her and her husband all the time and then we found out there was violence in the marriage. I felt pretty bad for having joined in conversations with others at work making fun of all she used to put on. I'm sure not everyone who posts a lot pics of their wonderful life with their partner is really unhappy and covering something up. Is it not unfair to take the Mickey out of them if they want to do it?

paddyann54 Sun 11-Sep-22 01:23:30

I use FB to keep in touch with friends world wide,when my Croatian friend died last year his son sent photographs of the flowers I had sent ,on the grave.
Thats another story ,they were not what I'd paid for so I felt awful but I at least knew not to use that florist again.I wouldn't keep in touch with cousins nearly as much without FB ,so I really get a lot from it

AussieGran59 Sun 11-Sep-22 02:05:43

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CanadianGran Sun 11-Sep-22 06:10:59

I post happy photos on Facebook; family, sunsets, travel or my garden. I certainly hope my friends don’t think I’m being smug and a show off. But I don’t have a long list of acquaintances; mostly family and closer circle of friends.

I tend not to air my political views, but I know lots of people see it as their personal soap box to shout out theirs.

nanna8 Sun 11-Sep-22 06:33:48

I keep to my friends on facebook,too rather than leave it open for everyone. I never even thought of smugness- why would you? I certainly wouldn't but miserable stuff on it anymore than I would moan when I met someone casually in the street.

Grammaretto Sun 11-Sep-22 06:56:31

It's become my main means of hearing the local news so is valuable.
There are a couple of posters who make me groan as they publish photos of holidays, meals, graduations, DGC.
I have discovered that I can unfollow these boasters.
I don't know if they are covering up a really sad life but they certainly want to show their lives in public.
I post on WhatsApp groups and hardly ever on FB all my DC have insisted on no photos of their DC yet they and the other GP still post occasionally.

Blondiescot Sun 11-Sep-22 08:10:41

If you alter your privacy settings, then only those who are friends with you on Facebook can see your posts. My profile picture isn't of me - it's something totally anonymous and my profile itself is locked down so anyone just browsing wouldn't be able to find out very much at all.

Urmstongran Sun 11-Sep-22 08:21:18

I’ve never joined. However many folk do & get a lot out of it by all accounts (pun intended).
Each to their own.
?

dragonfly46 Sun 11-Sep-22 08:26:29

I use FB for support from groups with similar problems to mine. Recently I met up with some of the local ones members.
I use it to keep in touch with far flung friends of which I have many.

I find it strange that people criticise a medium of which they have no knowledge.

1950a Sun 11-Sep-22 08:50:09

I have privacy settings set. I enjoy various fb sites of interest I also enjoy seeing what my friends and family are up to
I have minimum contacts on there so I am not overwhelmed with inane posts from obscure people!!

lovebeigecardigans1955 Sun 11-Sep-22 09:18:14

I'm on FB just to see what family (holidays, etc) are up to but I rarely post things myself. I've some family who go for a walk and post a picture of the view or their meal at a pub which is their way of communicating what they've been up to as a face-to-face conversation is impossible due to distance.

Yammy Sun 11-Sep-22 09:47:14

Georgesgran

Me neither GSM.
I sometimes think I’m in a parallel universe!

Or me, I often think "What a wonderful life it must be", or an empty one.
Many years ago my DD was stalked because she was found on Facebook and the police became involved. None of us use it.

Germanshepherdsmum Sun 11-Sep-22 09:52:30

What an awful experience Yammy. Very frightening. Wild horses wouldn’t drag me onto FB!

CatsCatsCats Sun 11-Sep-22 10:02:45

I use it, mainly to keep up with family stuff.

I also have some friends on FB. One, though, just couldn't stop boasting - forever saying things like "Just checking in at the airport for our holiday to the Maldives", "Just travelling first class on the train to Cambridge". I felt it was all for my benefit as I'm not at all wealthy, though that may be me being too sensitive. She had to be deleted, though.

Like somebody said above, it's up to us how we use it.

icanhandthemback Sun 11-Sep-22 10:20:25

Grammaretto

It's become my main means of hearing the local news so is valuable.
There are a couple of posters who make me groan as they publish photos of holidays, meals, graduations, DGC.
I have discovered that I can unfollow these boasters.
I don't know if they are covering up a really sad life but they certainly want to show their lives in public.
I post on WhatsApp groups and hardly ever on FB all my DC have insisted on no photos of their DC yet they and the other GP still post occasionally.

^ There are a couple of posters who make me groan as they publish photos of holidays, meals, graduations, DGC. ^
Or they might be creating their own album for posterity or posting stuff their distant family are interested in even if you aren’t.
I do get fed up with cryptic posts that people are just dying for you to say “What up?” but they are easy to scroll past and you can unfollow people if you need to without deleting or blocking them.

Barmeyoldbat Sun 11-Sep-22 11:10:34

We have a local page for the town telling you of up and coming events, you can also post stuff you want to give away and several places post food that will be outdated at the end of the day. All good stuff

AmberSpyglass Sun 11-Sep-22 11:47:46

I really don’t see how sharing pictures of your holidays or nice meals out is boasting. Surely it’s just all part of normal life?

Barmeyoldbat Sun 11-Sep-22 12:38:23

I just think people are having a happy time and want to share it

Grammaretto Sun 11-Sep-22 14:03:34

Barmeyoldbat

I just think people are having a happy time and want to share it

Really? You are much kinder than I am. One poster regularly eats out at expensive restaurants and posts photos of the food.

AreWeThereYet Sun 11-Sep-22 15:34:53

My profile picture isn't of me - it's something totally anonymous and my profile itself is locked down so anyone just browsing wouldn't be able to find out very much at all
Me too Blondiescot. There's actually nothing on my profile to indicate who I am - even my name is spelled incorrectly and my birthdate is wrong. I use it to keep in touch with people far away, some groups who talk about things I am interested in and goings on in local villages. It's not open on my phone and I only log into it every few days to catch up. Apart from with friends and family I rarely post.

We once saw a whole family in a restaurant taking pictures of their meals to upload - they seemed to find it absolutely hilarious and their meals must have been stone cold by the time they had finished looking at their pictures and viewing FB. I've never understood what it's all about but it kept them happy and we were in stitches watching them so it kept us happy too. Nowt so queer as folk.

icanhandthemback Sun 11-Sep-22 20:52:04

Grammaretto

Barmeyoldbat

I just think people are having a happy time and want to share it

Really? You are much kinder than I am. One poster regularly eats out at expensive restaurants and posts photos of the food.

Really? You are much kinder than I am. One poster regularly eats out at expensive restaurants and posts photos of the food.

And your problem with that is? It's probably a more realistic picture than you seen in the restaurant which has been doctored to make the food look better.

I can't help thinking that some people are just jealous of other people's lives. I look at my friend's photographs and feel happy for them.

Barmeyoldbat Sun 11-Sep-22 22:07:21

Same here

Grammaretto Mon 12-Sep-22 06:36:45

Well you can think what you like but I am not jealous of this particular person. I am rather embarrassed on her behalf. Why does she have to post these things?
Eating is something you do in private. If I wanted a restaurant review I could look on trip advisor.
It is very like the round robin Christmas letters which I also loathe
I am on several excellent FB groups, full of information and support not unlike GN.so I won't slam the platform- just the way some people choose to use it.

dragonfly46 Mon 12-Sep-22 06:44:02

FB is more secure than GN if you have the right settings. Anyone can read what you write on GN and it is surprising how much information some people inadvertently give away. I can choose who reads my posts on FB.

Grammaretto Mon 12-Sep-22 06:48:48

That's a good point Dragonfly . It's easy to be lulled into a feeling of cosy camaraderie on GN.
I should adjust my FB settings ?

Allsorts Mon 12-Sep-22 06:55:08

I don't do Facebook but can understand why a lot do, if they have family they dont get to see too often, they still feel part of things.