I hate flying

What do you think about phobias'? If they get in the way of your life, then the imperative is to do something about it. Why should another person collude with irrational thinking? CBT, old fashioned Behavioural Theraphy, use of benzodiazepines, Hypnosis, feel the fear and do it. Rail rail against the dying of the light, whatever you do cease giving in to avoidance. You and others will field me with very plausible 'reasons'. Do it, the longest journey starts with the first step.

I'm happy flying, flew to Ireland this weekend for family meetup as it happens, need to fly to oz every other year too but definitely get the fear factor that others get, if I think about it too much I also can get scared of being in a tin can high in the air but if I don't do it I will miss out on so much and I focus on the fact that each flight brings happiness in bundles to me. I am going to Canada for a road trip with my son in March and him driving on the right scares me more than the flight!

I would find a good person who does Clinical Hypnosis for flight phobia. Go for a few sessions, not just one, if you want it dealt with properly. As a Psychologist in the NHS, flight phobia often came-up when I was treating a patient for something else and I would devote 10 or 15 minutes of each of 3 or 4 sessions to addressing it with clinical hypnosis. It is a particularly easy issue to treat successfully that way. In the patients I treated, it never failed. I had one patient who was terrified of flying like you. She had only ever flown short haul. During each flight, she repeatedly vomited into a bag (hideous for those around her I imagine). Her husband laughed at her throughout this. If she needed the toilet, she was too afraid to unbuckle her seatbelt and leave her seat. She told me that her ‘lovely’ husband had booked a holiday in Canada for them and the children. She simply couldn’t conceive of going. I used hypnosis with her and in her final session before the holiday, told her that not only would she cope, but she would actually enjoy the flights. When she returned for her session after the holiday, she said “I enjoyed the flights, I really did”! The ‘moral’ of this story is, of course, that you can overcome this fear and even enjoy flying!

You won’t be able to be referred for this on the NHS for a number of reasons including of course, that it isn’t a mental health problem that effects your day-to-day life, but also because not all Psychologists (even if you did get to see one) know how to do hypnosis. When you see a hypnotherapist privately, a reputable one will not object to you having someone in the room with you if you like.

Yes Wilygran I can well remember those Valium days ...... called ‘Mother’s Little Helpers’ !

I thought that was gin!

What is your destination jeanie? I am so lucky as I am not afraid of flying at all- but I love travelling by train. Often so much easier almost door to door. Would a relative or friend come with you if OH won't? If he chooses to fly (and I agree the lack of support is very disappointing- perhaps I'd be tempted to say 'well you go off on your own' and I'll go with a friend on the train- but ...?!?) ...

If you do go to same destination- get him to take your luggage on his flight and just take a small overnight, light case.

I did the easyjet fear of flying course which helped. I’ve developed the fear in the last few years..I’d flown by myself to Oz and Caribbean before. I think it’s all the terrorist stuff and a feeling of danger at airports.

My flying problem is not fear but that my bladder seizes up and won't function on planes. Old-fashioned small cubicles on trains nearly as bad. I've read that a solution is to drink lots of water, but am always terrified that it might not work and I'd end up feeling very uncomfortable. Have an eight hour flight coming up in April and am worrying about it already.

Stella14. Thanks for your post. Can I call myself a pilot? I have flown alone for all of 10 minutes. For son's 16th birthday I paid a pilot friend to take him up in Spain where we lived. They were half an hour late back and we as parents waited at the airport and the emergency rescue plane left. I remember husband saying he didn't blame me as our son died doing what he loved, encouraged by me. I am happy to report the pilots returned so late as they had fuel and were having such fun flying over our house and the Bali hotel! This is not a gloating post as I have a severe dental phobia and am having my first CBT session next week for harassment from the Government for a debt I don't owe. I have studied psychotherapy and wish you all well.

I have a fear of flying but I don't let it stop me travelling. A few years ago I flew to New Zealand and that was a 24 hour flight with 3 stop overs consisting of 1 hour each to refuel. I'm okay flying but landing and taking off are my button pushers and the first two descents I was scared stiff but by the third descent I was a lot better. I won't say I'm cured but I am nowhere near so scared now and as I have family in Spain that I love to visit I am so pleased about that.
jeanie99 have you considered hypnosis? I see that somebody else has suggested that, it is a good idea. Otherwise revert to using medication from your doctor, there may be better types of medication around now. Whatever you decide, I wish you all the luck in the world. Phobias are no fun, whatever form they take x

On a purely pragmatic note, BA used to do a free ‘flying for phobics’ course and a couple of people I know who did it found it really helpful. Maybe have a chat with a friendly travel agent or contact them direct? If they no longer do it I’m sure there’s an airline which does. Good luck!

I agree hypnotherapy may be the answer (if you can afford it). Good luck

I don't mind flying and have flown to the US and Europe on my own several times as well as long haul to NZ 2 years ago. I do however hate the sea and won't go anywhere near a boat or ferry - I also have a phobia about being seasick which makes it even worse. Some years ago my husband drove me to the other end of the country, through the tunnel and right back up the other side to Holland for me to avoid going on a ferry to Rotterdam which would have been a couple of hours. Everyone thought he was mad but its the sort of thing he does. I think if your OH won't support you and travel the least stressful way for you it's such a shame. Depending on how far it is could you perhaps go on a coach trip to the destination which would avoid you having to negotiate train changes etc. I think hypnosis does work though so that might be the best option or the BA course.

i would go on the train by myself, i think you will have a lovey stress free journey to your sons, You may even find out your husband wants to join you, when he sees how chilled you are on holiday xx

I have been astounded to read that so many people like myself hate flying and all the comments advice and suggestions made.
Thank you so much.
I won't fly again I have decided so there it is.
I am quite capable of travelling on my own by another form of transport it was just that I thought it would be a wonderful way to travel to the Baltic states by train and making an adventure of it stopping off for a few days and visiting cities we have never been to before.
I feel as if a weight as been lifted from my shoulders isn't that amazing. YIPEEEEEEEEEE

I too believe Hypnotherapy can be a best option for your problem, if other things are not working for you. After a couple of fear of flying hypnotherapy sessions your therapist can tell how the treatment is helping, and how much estimated time it will take to cure your problem.

In the modern world, a person cannot fully travel without flying. You have to fight with your fear.

In the future we will have to manage with out flying, or at least regular flying. I have never been a very regular flyer and have quite deliberately been avoiding flying in recent years for ecological reason. I have traveled as far as the mediterannean by train and also to Belgium, Switzerland, France, Germany and Spain. It is more expensive but it is much more fun and you see so much more.

I am not afraid of flying but I loath airports, the crowds, the dreadful food, the constant rush and nowhere to sit down