Elizabeth is Missing

My older brother went through 3 years of trying to care for hiws wife with Alzheimers- finally going into Care home, begging to return, then another crisis and another care home, then begged to return on a good day. She turned very violent and he was told she must stay in care home. Died quickly a few months later. So so hard- for him, and her daughter and grandchildren. Got another niece going through same thing with her mum- and several friends and neighbours too...

Honestly- I never ever want my OH or children to have to go through this, never. I'll make sure they don't.

It was moving, and sad, but to me it told another story as well, one that suggests that everything may not be lost with dementia.

Maud was still a person despite the dementia, an individual, and not stupid. In her periods of lucidity, she actually achieved something useful.

Yes, agreed. But she was desperately aware that she was not 'right' - and she put her daughter and grandaughter through so much torment and pain. Something I never want to do.

We have discussed it as a family, with OH and daughters. I'll make sure I don't. OH agrees and same with him.

May I ask how you intend not being around for dementia to set in Jura? Are you expecting your husband to murder you what if he goes first are you expecting to commit suicide we don’t always know we are being awkward or out of control to be able to do that There just isn’t a way we can guarantee an exit
I nursed my Nan for three years and once (it’s etched in my mind) just once in the three years she seemed to have a few minutes of her old self and said ‘I don’t mean to be like this’ we had a hug and a kiss and I said it’s ok but that was it back to screaming at me when I tried to wash her or take her to the toilet

I wondered that too jura

Someone dear to me has just been diagnosed.
She doesn't remember what is wrong with her and is very happy. We know this could change but when?

Another friend was diagnosed several years ago and has spent many happy years with family who are so pleased to have this precious time with him.

I think the absolute most upsetting thing with my mother in law, was when she was aware of what was happening, but powerless to stop it. Same with Maud, very frightening.

I live in Switzerland- so it would me my choice- with experienced help and support. A choice to me made far too quickly, when still sufficiently compos mentis. Made clear to GP, family and made advanced will to that effect. Same for OH- all agreed.

It was very very good. It makes me feel better than dementia is being aired and treated so sympathetically and wisely.

that

It’s very comforting to have that choice Jura, but I’m not sure at what point you’d decide life was no longer worth living.

Too close to home for me at the moment, but think this kind of drama can be very useful in raising awareness.

Sara65- the way the Law is at the moment- you have to make a decision and go when you are still sufficiently compos mentis- meaning 'too early'. For me, too early is better than too late.

Both my sils used to say the same- left it too late- and it was too late- they had to go through to the bitter, undignified end- One still is. I don't want this- so too early it will have to be- if either of us are unlucky enough to be struck by this awful disease. I am so sorry if this shocks some- but this is the way it is for us.

I met Glenda Jackson in the early 80 s when we were both applying to study. She wanted to stop acting and go into politics, I just wanted to finish my education which had ended at 15. We spent a very happy day together, she took me to lunch, and we chatted about every day family and other unrelated to Showbusiness things. She was lovely company.
I watched last nights Elizabeth and think the acting was excellent, not only GJ but the rest of the cast, it was very true to life and the piece where Maud suddenly did not recognise her daughter at the bus stop was heartbreaking as I remembered when that happened to me.
Now that GJ has left politics I hope to see more of her on screen. She has always been a star.

I thought GJ's acting was terrific. Her expressions, her speech and her mannerisms reminded me a lot of my dear departed, demented stepmum. It is not often I cry during a film or a drama, but I found myself wishing I had known how to be kinder to her towards the end. The scene where Maud fails to recognise her daughter and then cries because she realises that this has happened, that did it for me.

The daughter looked a bit young, though. The script suggests that Maud was in her late 80s, and the daughter didn't look more than early 40s. Many people who are trying to organise care for an elderly parent are already past retirement age themselves, and struggling with their own problems. By the time my stepmum died at 94, both my sister-in-law and I had lost our husbands, so we were coping with our own bereavements and health problems too.

Brilliant acting. Hope Glenda Jackson gets an award for this!!!

grannyticktock- my mum was 40 when I was born- so for me, the daughter's age seemed right.

I didn't notice either as my mum was 39 when I was born and my dad quite a bit older.
And we too are older parents.

I've just watched this on the I-player... did not read the book as often avoid that sort of thing as my dad is 90 and has alzheimers but I am glad I watched it, difficult and moving and agree Glenda Jackson was fabulous.

I thought it was very moving and did the book justice.
Glenda Jackson was perfect for this. I like Judi Dench but it made a change for an oldie role to go to someone else.
I wonder if there is a genetic element to this illness. Some families really get hammered by it. It’s not anywhere in mine as far as I know.
I am still thinking about it.

My maternal Nan had it and her daughter my mum which doesn’t bode well for me although I think both were different in the fact that nans seemed vascular dementia and Mums Alzheimer’s I don’t know if that has any bearing on it but that’s my handle to get through
I now understand jura so is it done through the doctor or do you have to go to the clinic I m afraid I wouldn’t be able to go through the too early bit, ever an optimist me I d be thinking next week might be better etc

Brilliant performance by an outstanding actor. Glenda, you have been missed.

A very powerful programme, wonderfully acted.
I thought that in the book the motivation behind the old woman following Sukie was explained, but I don’t think it was in the programme. Anyone with a better memory than me remember?

I watched it. I had read the book and agree it was so powerful. Glenda Jackson is still one of our foremost actors. A tour de force in this tv adaptation. I thought the part of the daughter was very accurate too. dealing with all the difficult stuff whilst Tom, the absent brother, gets all the kudos...

Altogether a very moving portrayal as well as being a gripping story in its own right.

Forgot to record it, hoping a can watch it on catch up!

Award winning performances all round especially Glenda Jackson. I was recording it but it came on screen and I did not move throughout the programme. It was heartbreaking, moving and funny too but it made me really think hard about my own future. As an extremely independent person the frustration of losing not only physical but mental capacity is a terrifying one to me and this was so well portrayed by Glenda Jackson. I am now seriously considering what to do in advance to avoid going down this road and causing suffering to myself but more so to my family.