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Mayflies

(102 Posts)
volver Wed 28-Dec-22 22:09:11

Oh me. 😥

9pm tonight, next episode tomorrow.

Fleurpepper Fri 30-Dec-22 20:46:22

Ann was denounced and the Police turned up on her doorstep

'Ann was at the centre of a criminal investigation, suspected of assisting a suicide — prohibited by UK law and punishable by up to 14 years in prison.

All she’d done was book their flights and Swiss hotel, in a final loving act of compassion, when her husband lost the use of his hands and could no longer operate his iPad.

‘Geoff had survived all these bombs thrown at him as his disease progressed. All he ever wanted was to die in my arms,’ says Ann.

‘He was so incredibly brave, but the biggest, final bomb came with the police and he just sobbed. That’s when the dam caved in.

‘I’d never seen Geoff cry before, he wasn’t that kind of man. He was of an old-fashioned generation, where men looked after their wives, and never wept. He was proud of his stiff upper lip.

‘He’d spent his life protecting me, so watching my lovely husband sob, I was cross, really cross.

‘First of all, I didn’t think I’d done anything wrong. I wasn’t a law-breaker. I’d simply done what my loving husband asked me to do because he was paralysed.

‘I quite understood that the law had to be followed. It wasn’t the police’s fault, but I was very cross that someone had anonymously intervened to try to prevent my husband from doing what he wanted. I have no idea who it was and I don’t know what they were trying to achieve, but whatever it I was, it spectacularly backfired, didn’t it?

‘Together we managed to turn a negative into a positive and I discovered a strength I didn’t know I had.’

Fleurpepper Fri 30-Dec-22 20:48:59

Her story here

www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-6736079/Ann-Whaley-rages-injustice-seen-jailed-husbands-Dignitas-death.html

I've read terrible stories of daughters and sons or spouses, putting a loved one on a plane to Switzerland, unable to accompany them for fear of being accused and arrested, and losing their job. Their mum/dad/spouse/brother/sister insisting they go alone for fear of the above. Cruel beyond belief.

Alioop Fri 30-Dec-22 21:15:27

I actually thought about that while I watching it, why they were all going with him, as I've heard about people being arrested for doing so. I'll have a read about Sarah and I totally agree that people should have the choice where and when they want to die when there's no hope. I watched my 35 year old BIL die at home in agony for months with lung cancer and it wasn't fair he had to suffer like that, he just wanted to be at peace.

Parsley3 Fri 30-Dec-22 21:41:28

I have just watched this. Ashley Jensen deserves an award for her superb portrayal of the grieving wife.

Fleurpepper Sat 31-Dec-22 09:21:19

Yes Alioop- that part was not close to reality and gave the wrong 'idea' that close family and friends could accompany someone to Dignitas or LifeCircle, and not face arrest or prosecution on return.

volver Sat 31-Dec-22 09:23:07

It's a book and a play folks, not a documentary.

In other news, there are no hidden lands at the back of wardrobes and the Americans didn't win the war by themselves.

Fleurpepper Sat 31-Dec-22 09:59:46

Sorry volver, but I disagree- it might be for you, from a very safe distance.

It was meant to make people think, and for people to begin to talk about this. And to perhaps get people involved in the debates going on in the Lords and the HoC. And for people going through this kind of tragedy- the protrayal should cover the reality as it is. So a 'play' (what a word in the circumstances)- but one which can have such a impact on individuals and those who make Laws and implement them- it has to portray the reality.

Tony Curran I thought was just amazing.

volver Sat 31-Dec-22 10:03:49

It made me think about how friendship lasts over the decades. I almost crumbled when Tully said he would never see Scotland again.

They also talked about the fact that Tully's wife was a lawyer and could get them all into trouble if she didn't come on board with the plan. But she did.

It was meant to make people think. It was a play.

volver Sat 31-Dec-22 10:05:57

I should also say that your suggestion that its OK for me because I'm at a very safe distance is very insulting. Watch the play, make comments about it, but please don't assume anything about other GNers.

Fleurpepper Sat 31-Dec-22 10:24:45

Iam very sorry if I 'assumed' wrong. I would have thought that anyone who, for any reason, is affected by the concept and realities of Assisted Dying, would feel that it is very important that facts, in a play or book, are pictured with accuracy, and without major elements not portrayed.

I am not sure if you are aware that debates are planned in the Commons and the Lords, to change the Law in the UK. And that the Associations which are battling to ensure this has a positive outcome, finally giving people in the UK a true choice, and to choose to die at home, or at least in their country.

A true portrayal of the realities faced by individuals and families is truly important.

It is a play and book- but with a real context, of real suffering and real choices, and deserves the truth.

Fleurpepper Sat 31-Dec-22 10:29:38

The showing of this 'play' now is not 'out of the blue', by chance.

It has a real and very current context

committees.parliament.uk/committee/81/health-and-social-care-committee/news/174845/mps-launch-new-inquiry-on-assisted-dyingassisted-suicide/

hence the importance of accuracy.

Alioop Sat 31-Dec-22 10:39:42

To me they got everything right until the trip to Switzerland. It was a play, but it happens to real people so they should of maybe thought more about the truthful side of someone accompanying them too. It didn't take away the brilliant piece of TV I watched, the story and acting was brilliant. It really made me think about friends and family that have died of that hateful disease and one that is have a hellish time at the moment with it.

volver Sat 31-Dec-22 10:55:37

Fleurpepper

Iam very sorry if I 'assumed' wrong. I would have thought that anyone who, for any reason, is affected by the concept and realities of Assisted Dying, would feel that it is very important that facts, in a play or book, are pictured with accuracy, and without major elements not portrayed.

I am not sure if you are aware that debates are planned in the Commons and the Lords, to change the Law in the UK. And that the Associations which are battling to ensure this has a positive outcome, finally giving people in the UK a true choice, and to choose to die at home, or at least in their country.

A true portrayal of the realities faced by individuals and families is truly important.

It is a play and book- but with a real context, of real suffering and real choices, and deserves the truth.

Really Fleurpepper, you're making it worse.

"I'm not sure you're aware"?

The law in Scotland is distinct from the rest of the UK

I'm not sure you're aware of that.

Caleo Sat 31-Dec-22 12:16:21

Besides Mayflies there was a repeat, last night ,of that film about the cheerful young girl who went to be a carer for a sad quadriplegic man. She and he loved each other and his last few months were happy before he went to Dignitas to end his life.

It's significant this theme has surfaced twice in dramas at this time when assisted dying is being assessed by the law makers. The great majority support the cause of assisted dying.

Caleo Sat 31-Dec-22 12:19:09

Volver, what is the point of a play that doesn't make you think?

Answer: escapism.

Fleurpepper Sat 31-Dec-22 12:29:29

Escapism is quite a word in this context.

For some, it will be a lot more- and will present them with the idea that there are alternatives- but only abroad at the moment. And that people should have that ultimate choice, but in their own home or nearby, and without putting partners, family and friends at risk of prosecution, or losing their job.

Which is why it is very important to tell the truth- and it is wrong to portray the concept that family and friends can just organise the trip and come along to hold your hand- without consequences, is not fair.

volver Sat 31-Dec-22 12:36:37

No hang on.

Mayflies is about the fact that friendship can last decades. It's about the fact that life is short (hence the title) and we should grab what we can. That you can be young and daft, but time will catch up with you in the end.

That maybe one day, your childhood friend will ask you to help them in a way that you will find hard to go along with. It was about how your life partner may have completely different ideas about something you think it obvious.

The euthanasia was one part of the plot, but the theme was as I have described above. The possibility that they could have been prosecuted was addressed in the script. To focus on one part of the program that was subject to artistic licence, and to make it all about that, is missing the point. IMO.

volver Sat 31-Dec-22 12:37:19

Caleo

Volver, what is the point of a play that doesn't make you think?

Answer: escapism.

If you think this play doesn't make people think and is just escapism, you are definitely missing the point.

Caleo Sat 31-Dec-22 12:37:52

Fleurpepper, I agree. The whole truth and nothing but the truth is the way to go. Mayflies, and the film play that I described, are responsibly balanced in respect of portraying the whole truth.

Responsible adults must answer the slippery slope argument, and the right of the individual argument. To answer these arguments a play that tells the whole truth presents us with a balance of points of view.

Caleo Sat 31-Dec-22 12:39:35

Volver, I think I must have misunderstood your previous post.

volver Sat 31-Dec-22 12:42:28

Are we at cross purposes Caleo? Sorry flowers

Plays don't have to portray the whole truth. That's not the point of plays.

Fleurpepper Sat 31-Dec-22 12:44:23

volver

No hang on.

Mayflies is about the fact that friendship can last decades. It's about the fact that life is short (hence the title) and we should grab what we can. That you can be young and daft, but time will catch up with you in the end.

That maybe one day, your childhood friend will ask you to help them in a way that you will find hard to go along with. It was about how your life partner may have completely different ideas about something you think it obvious.

The euthanasia was one part of the plot, but the theme was as I have described above. The possibility that they could have been prosecuted was addressed in the script. To focus on one part of the program that was subject to artistic licence, and to make it all about that, is missing the point. IMO.

So I am totally accepting that like so many things, it will have different meaning, perception and effect- depending on personal circumstances and beliefs. 100%.

But this 'play' has a context, and a specific timing- that has not happened in a vacuum. It is currently on the Government's agenda, and has been passed in the Lords- with a view to change the law.

So, let's agree that you don't think accuracy is important, and that it is just a play on lasting friendships. Fair enough- it is your take.

Could you perhaps accept that for many (as said above 83% of the population)- it will represent a lot more. And that it is important to now the truth.

For those who want to know more, here is a link to Alex Pandolfo and Sara Starkey. Alex has also been very movingly interviewed by Ferrari and Eamon, both in tears.

Dignity in Dying is the Association formed by Alex and others, to give a voice to those who want that choice, without having to travel abroad to do so. Some of you might want to support them- or at least, understand the realities. Some will not- that is fine too.

volver Sat 31-Dec-22 12:57:56

So, let's agree that you don't think accuracy is important

No let's not accept that at all. How ridiculous.

For those who want to know what the book's about, and maybe consider why complaining that they didn't make a point of telling everyone EXACTLY what the law says, isn't the criticism that we should be making, here's a link.

www.theguardian.com/books/2020/aug/30/andrew-ohagan-if-you-are-honest-you-never-stop-being-who-you-were

JaneJudge Sat 31-Dec-22 13:20:21

there was a documentary regarding assisted dying quite recently I thought

Fleurpepper Sat 31-Dec-22 15:06:27

volver, you are quite right re Law in Scotland- where is had been decided that anyone helping someone to organise a trip to Switzerland, and accompany them, will not be prosecuted, as long as it was clearly the will of the person concerned. And that is a huge step forwards.

However, I am quite certain that the vast majority watching Mayflies would be aware of this. In England, Wales and NI- this is not the case.