channel4. docu' A Paedophile in my family.

Its like anything in life I suppose. If you haven't it experienced it, you can't possibly understand. I wish Simeone had interfered in our home life and saved us from horror and misery.

I don't believe it encourages 'copycats'. People are either that way inclined or not and goodness knows there are plenty of them.

That's true Katie but you can have empathy.

nan8 it is not what is broadcast but the way that they do it and properly done this subject needs to be discussed in the public sphere.

It may encourage more victims to tell the police what happened to them.

Oh yes Smileless. I have so much empathy. Lives are ruined.

Kate1949

But nanna8 with respect, that is some children's reality. How can we stop it if we don't show it?

Absolutely, Kate1949. As upsetting and distressing as it maybe to watch something like that, it's far more upsetting and distressing for those poor little ones for whom that is the reality of their everyday lives. It's only by shining a light into those darkest corners that we as a society can ever hope to make a difference to those children. If one person watches a programme like that and feels they can finally speak about what is happening (or has happened) to them, then surely that's a good thing? If it makes one abused child feel that they are not alone in going through something like that, then it's worthwhile.

Silverlining and others who have suffered such abuse, I truly can’t think how you cope, the worst betrayal of an innocent child and that vile man even said it was her doing the running, words fail. The warning signs were loud and clear in last nights programme, as the neighbour said she was on her quard when he was around her child, others must have seen that, he had money for holidays just with his daughter, that’s weird. .As for fostering when wife working full time, surely someone could have picked up on that. The teachers knew her constant absences, didn’t they ever tell the mother, if not why not. That child was very badly let down. To think they think in any way guilty because that’s all they knew, what a burden on top of everything else..Pity that excuse for a man was let out of prison.
I think they should have emphasised much more how the perpetrator puts the fault on the victim.

nanna8

But we know it already and it will attract vile people who get their rocks off on that sort of thing. Same when they feature suicides you get copycats. I think it is appalling and would never watch that. They need to pull their heads in.

That’s a terrible thing to say. Someone who has been abused deserves for their story to be heard. I don’t believe for one second that a paedophile will be watching such a documentary. They are more likely to be viewing obscene material online. Given that they often live in some weird bubble where they convince themselves that the victim’wants’ it they will not want to be confronted by the truth and the harm. You need to give your head a wobble.

Absolutely Blondiescot. Allsorts. Speaking for myself, I don't cope. I get up each morning and hope to get through and mine wasn't really sexual abuse, although I was offered money at 15 to 'come upstairs', so there are some very strong people out there.

We’ll have to agree to disagree and I hope they never show it here. I don’t think they would.

viewers bought to tears at this young lady's story.

www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-12147619/She-hero-Viewers-Paedophile-Family-Surviving-Dad-left-floods-tears.html

nanna8

Well that is what I call scraping the bottom of the barrel to show something like that. Disgusting.

your comment is quite disgusting and to call it scraping the bottom of the barrel is crass!
this is a young lady's story to tell. What would you have her do? brush it under the carpet? it is not fiction.
get off the thread if it offends you!

Yes it is disgusting nanna8 and I don't mean the programme. I cannot imagine in a million years what would make a father want to do that to his own child. Any child obviously but to have those thoughts re your own is inconceivable.

Do you think sexual abuse is not going on in Australia then nanna? Well it is and if it’s hidden as you seem to prefer then children being abused will have to keep their horrible secret ,because they won’t know where to get help and in any case the abuser will have told them no one will believe them anyway.
It sounds like you would prefer that but believe me someone you know is experiencing this now, whether you believe it or not .

Have you actually seen this programme? It was only on last night here in the uk.
No one could not fail to feel compassion and admiration for the brave young woman who spoke out.

I haven’t watched but heard the young woman on woman’s hour and radio news outlets.
The view expressed by nana8 was no an unusual one historically, another reason to silence victims. Freud dismissed the frequent disclosures from his adult female patients, who said they’d been sexually abused by their father. No, you haven’t said Freud, you are attracted to your father.

There are a number of critical comments of the mother, how could she not know? Suggestions she prioritised work over her children. Mothers almost always get blamed for ‘failing to protect’ and sometimes that’s the case. But there are many mothers who had no idea and life the rest of their lives in shame. It’s the perpetrator. They’re often likeable charming successful men.

Back in the 50s/60s some mothers knew but were ashamed and afraid of the men. There was no, or little, help.

Kate and silverlining, sending you love.
The programme was harrowing but enlightening viewing. Truly an example of the phrase " old sins cast long shadows".
As a retired teacher I was dismayed to hear the statistics which suggested that there was at least one child in each of my classes subject to abuse, all undetected.
And , finally - the father: shame on him twice, once for abusing his child and secondly for refusing to meet her. Without meeting him I'm happy to condemn him as a vile human being.

Kate1949

Back in the 50s/60s some mothers knew but were ashamed and afraid of the men. There was no, or little, help.

Indeed. Times were very different then. Thank goodness we can now have programmes like this one where this brave young woman can share her story and hopefully help others.

Kate1949, I’m sure that still happens, there are some brutal, abusive men living amongst us who superficially pass well, acting ‘normal’
A major problem remains and that is society’s reluctance/inability to accept the extent of child sexual abuse

By changing his mind after pressure from fellow psychiatrists in the 1880 s Freud set back child sexual abuse by 100 years.
He was threatened that if he continued with his theory he would lose his position as head of the psychiatric institute.
He took the easy way and let down women who had confided in him and said it was just their imagination / wish by the women who reported sexual abuse.
It was as late as the early 1980 s that Child abuse was first spoken about publicly. I remember it very well, I read a review of an afternoon tv programme which Mary Kenny took the same view as a poster here that tit was best kept as a taboo given how unpleasant it all was.

Silver lining, a child psychiatrist I worked with in 1981 told me we couldn’t name the extent of child sexual abuse in our clinics ‘the floodgates will open, we will be overwhelmed’

I have just written a long piece about what happened to me and lost it. Perhaps it was fortuitous as some on here would probably find it unbelievable.

Pretty sure the statistics about one in class is very likely true.

One misguided councellor told me that children enjoy the situation and collaborate.

It still keeps me awake at night now I am in my eighties.

Oh blossom I wonder why horrible things that happen to us seem to haunt us more when we are older.

blossom14 , I’m so sorry you came across a dangerous damaging counsellor. That’s just awful, but of course you know how awful 🌸