channel4. docu' A Paedophile in my family.

Jaffacake. What a dreadful reaction from your counsellor. How dare she say it upset her after what you'd been through. It reminds me of my sister who wouldn't visit our teenage nephew when he was dying of cancer, having been through unimaginable horrors. She wouldn't see him in case it upset her. Did she imagine that those of us who visited every day, and me, who was there when he died, weren't upset?

This is a terribly sad subject. And maybe now, after the Me Too movement, and Black Lives Matter, and others, the spotlight should be on Child Sexual Abuse . Maybe the time is right for this to come into the light. Maybe if this was more openly discussed, we could help some poor child who is suffering in silence. It needs to made to be seen as the shameful crime it really is. If we all, as a society, deplore drink drivers and terrorists, thugs who assault people, wife beaters, vandals etc etc, surely the spotlight should be on the adults who perpetrate this terrible crime of sexual abuse on innocent children? We need to do more to help our children understand that this is not normal behaviour, and that they will be listened to and believed.
My heart goes out to all people who are living with this terrible situation, may you find some peace in life, which you surely deserve.

Have only just watched the documentary and there is no doubt in my mind that the mother was aware to some degree. I worked in Child Protection some years ago and was stunned at the silent collusion of the mother in so many cases. Fear of becoming a single parent and coping alone if the husband were to be imprisoned was the reason so often for the mother's denial. I struggle to believe that any mother would not have suspicions that something was 'off'. I absolutely I know I would.
The other thing that affected me deeply was how common it was and I have no hesitation is saying there is a good chance someone you know or know of has been or could be involved. These days, with the prevalence of and easy access to pornography, I can only imagine what I would prefer not to.
I believe there is also a strong case for more emphasis on observation by teachers as they have a vantage point of changes in nuanced behaviour etc in their pupils. I know there used to be an ESW (Educational Social Worker) in schools years ago but have been told that this is now no longer the case in every school.

My thoughts go out to all those who have suffered in this way and praise their immense courage in speaking up. It must be a life-long sentence to endure.

suzikyoo, some mother’s but not the majority. It’s hard enough when the discover their husband has abused their child without being blamed for something they knew nothing about
You aren’t alone in having worked in child protection

Jaffacake2 I'm so sorry to hear that counselor was so awful.
You did everything right.

montymops

Love to you Seadragon and congratulations on your brave survival. Xx

Thank you!

It always amazes me that some women stand by these creatures after they are found guilty. I could never in a million years do that.

A man in our village was sent to prison a couple of years ago for having a massive stash of kiddy porn, encouraging kids to engage in sexual acts and other ghastly stuff. He has 5 adult children all with responsible, professional jobs (one is a doctor) and I think his wife managed to hide the truth from them as he only actually served less than a year in prison but is on the Sex Offenders list. They all live away from the area.

She has stood by him and he is back living with her. I just cannot believe she even let him back in the house!

I grew up on a Council overflow estate for East London in the fifties. By the time I was married and into my fourth pregnancy (for twins) in my early thirties I thought I was worldy -wise.

However I can still totally recall the shock I had whilst in hospital following the safe birth of those twins. As they were being kept in Baby Special Care and I was going there to feed them, and the hospital anti-natal ward followed strict four hourly feeding regime for eveyone else, I would go to the Common Room at those times. There I met a young woman just having given birth to her first baby. She was so interested to learn that we had also fostered pre-adoptiove babies for a local authority and asked loads of questions about how that went.

Then one day she told me the reason - her younger sister who had Downs Syndrome had been sexually abused by their father over several years and became pregnant by him. He had not been suspected as the father and the special school which she attended had been held to blame for not supervising all their pupils enough. The young woman telling me this was certain their Mother had suspected but stayed quiet. So, this young woman, then a teenager had reported their father to the police, and he was now in prison. Their Mother would not speak to her. The baby had been adopted, and the DS sister was in care.

Nearly fifty years later, I can still have total recall of that time, even to seeing the trees outside the window slightly moving their new spring leaves as I was told this horror story.

It had never crossed my mind that Dads were anything other than like the strict disciplinarian, but totally loving protector that was mine.

Have never assumed that after that time, nobody really knows what actually takes place behind the front door no matter how wonderful a family may apooear to be.

nanna8

Well that is what I call scraping the bottom of the barrel to show something like that. Disgusting.

You cannot make a comment like this without having watched the programme. There was nothing gratuitous about it. I have huge respect for all the people on here who have had the courage to share on here.. and have also become strong, brave women