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Sex after 60 (NAME CHANGING ALLOWED)

(89 Posts)
CariGransnet (GNHQ) Tue 15-Nov-16 09:37:00

The sexuality of people over a certain age seems to be something of a taboo subject - but not for esteemed French psychologist Marie de Hennezel.

In her new book, Sex After Sixty: a French guide to loving intimacy, she looks at how emotional intimacy plays a huge role in maintaining a sex life as you age and how knowing how to take pleasure as it comes, rather than focussing on what could be, can be the key to a more erotic and satisfying sexuality.

She will be answering your questions on the above and more - simply leave them on this thread before Tuesday 29 November. Note that if you'd prefer to change your name for this, that is absolutely fine - just drop us a line at [email protected] and we can sort that out.

Marie de Hennezel is the author of two ministerial reports about caring for those with terminal illnesses, and has written ten books about growing older, including the Sunday Times top-5 bestseller The Warmth of the Heart Prevents Your Body from Rusting. Her books have been translated into 22 languages.

From attending Tantric workshops to interviewing dozens of sexually active older people, de Hennezel looks at the role that sex plays in our health and sets out on a quest to discover how you can continue to enjoy a satisfying sex life into old age. She brings her insight as a psychotherapist - along with her Gallic joie de vivre and frankness - to bear on a subject that has been brushed under the carpet for too long. Having seen the sexual revolution first-hand in France in the 1960s and 70s, today de Hennezel - born in 1946 - argues that it's time for a new sexual revolution, one which acknowledges that sex is important at any stage of adulthood, and which embraces many different ways of making love. In a society saturated by online porn and 'hook-up culture', reflecting on intimacy and learning from those who know how to make it last is more important than ever, making her book essential reading for lovers of any age.

Im68Now Tue 15-Nov-16 10:16:11

I've just seen the price of your book.

For the last 20 years we have new car sex, yes you've guessed right, great fun.

tanith Tue 15-Nov-16 10:17:46

hmm

whitewave Tue 15-Nov-16 10:20:15

20 yearsgrin

Jalima Tue 15-Nov-16 10:54:29

Do Tantric workshops involve getting down on the floor?

Fine, all for it, but it's the getting up again that is the problem.

annsixty Tue 15-Nov-16 11:02:13

It was great while it lasted but Alzheimer's puts an end to all that.

grannylyn65 Tue 15-Nov-16 13:01:59

Chance be a fine thing!

Jayh Tue 15-Nov-16 13:36:34

I hadn't noticed that it was a taboo subject. We are children of the sixties after all.

Jumpback Tue 15-Nov-16 13:39:15

'Your as old as you feel,and if you can still feel your not so old'! smile

Teetime Tue 15-Nov-16 14:17:37

I agree with Jayh never been a taboo subject in this house and no problems here after 39 years although we have had to stop dangling from the chandeliers so I wont be buying the book.

mumofmadboys Tue 15-Nov-16 14:27:59

What is new car sex Im68now please? Does it mean having sex in a car and if so isn't that a bit uncomfortable?

Stansgran Tue 15-Nov-16 14:55:56

Or only when you buy a new car?

tanith Tue 15-Nov-16 15:10:36

The mind boggles lm68now

grannylyn65 Tue 15-Nov-16 15:35:51

shock

Marthajolly1 Tue 15-Nov-16 15:37:06

After ten years alone I've recently become emotionally attached. We both know where were heading and happy to take our time but I have to say the sexual tension between us is electric at times and sooo good. Although I am very nervous of the inevitable, I could do with some advice on how to handle the first time.

mumofmadboys Tue 15-Nov-16 15:49:56

I would say let it handle itself! I don't mean to be flippant but I don't think too much planning will help! Wish you well

kittylester Tue 15-Nov-16 15:54:47

We no longer dangle form the chandeliers either - plays havoc with the back. I've had car sex but not necessarily in a new car! blush

As jayh said, people who are over 60 now were children of the 60s and we all talked about everything. Mind you, we should have talked more and done less then we might not have had 5 children.

Marthajolly1, I hope it goes really well for you and I hope you keep us informed of how the relationship (not just the sex!!) progresses.

Im68Now Tue 15-Nov-16 16:14:16

We have a new car every 2 years and I must admit I've had better sessions, but OH enjoys it. Last April was the last change of cars and we listened to Radio 4 as well.

Don't Knock it Till You Try It

Do Gay people say that. confused

TriciaF Tue 15-Nov-16 16:35:43

grin (for 68now)
As it's a question and answer topic, here's a question.
As many of us have had hip replacement surgery, what are the safe positions for sex for
a) operated men
b) operated women?
That is, as long both partners wish to participate.

Im68Now Tue 15-Nov-16 16:40:55

Step one.

Dianic Tue 15-Nov-16 16:54:59

Im68Now - if I knew I was going to have car sex, I'd go out "Commando"!! Sod wriggling out of your knickers... grin

I'm 58 and DH is 65 and I'm grateful that we have a lovely, regular sex life. Admittedly, his cancers have caused a bit of impotence and he struggles with a proper erection, but our wonderful, understanding GP has prescribed him little blue pills, so we still get enough to keep him happy!!

Personally, I'm a bit lazy in that department, but DH has always had a high sex drive, so I look forward to our "sessions".

I think it's true that we're children of the 60s and that makes life so much easier...

No questions for Marie, just my two penn'orth. smile

wot Tue 15-Nov-16 16:56:01

You're often rude iam

Jalima Tue 15-Nov-16 19:03:29

Most people seem to have used their real (GN) names, although I don't recognise one or two

annsixty Tue 15-Nov-16 19:36:55

I didn't see any reason not to. We weren't confessing to unnatural practices. Just commenting on a normal relationship and whether on not it endures.

kittylester Tue 15-Nov-16 20:22:55

I think the point was made above that we are all children of the 60s.