Banned from having contact with grandchildren

I mean, that's great how many you have found who agree on this thread Smileless, perhaps you could all petition OPs daughter to change her mind?

Hmm

Not sure that will work or help OP to reconcile at all

Never mind

Wyllow3

Hithere

Two outrageous stories, US based, posted within one hour difference.... and it is Friday night

Exactly my thoughts.

Hmmm

Jenrev
On the slim chance that you might make a donation to BLM, please read this first.

www.theguardian.com/world/2022/sep/02/black-lives-matter-grassroots-lawsuit-global-foundation

Sadly, I don't think suggesting you agree to differ will work here.

There are, after all, some conflicting views than are so grave that they lead to this kind of situation.

I have never tolerated certain political views myself, and it would not have matter to me who expressed them. Admittedly if my parents had suddenly turned racists in their old age, I might have tried suggesting that we just did not discuss politics, but I would not have wanted children listening to such views.

Please, don't think I am accusing you of being racist, but obviously something you or your husband or you both said has caused your daughter and son-in-law grave concern, otherwise they would not have taken this extremely drastic step.

Please, try to move on with your life. Writing letters to the grandchildren that they can be given when they come of age is quite permissible in my book, as is an explanation of what the family quarrel actually was about. I wish my family had explained why we never were allowed to see or visit my cousins - all I ever could glean was that my uncle had offended my mother.

Try to accept that you are not likely to see your grandchildren, I know this is hard, but get help to move on - there are plenty of children in need of an "extra" pair of grandparents, so perhaps you could find a family without a grannie and grandpa to help out now and then?

Jenrev The protests I am talking about were in the UK too at that time. I wasn't thinking about the US but the UK.

It is so sad and unnecessary for anyone to behave violently when demonstrations take place. That is all I said, and it caused my daughter to decide to keep the children from us.

I am in the UK. Not American. All I suggested was that people protest in peace not violently. My daughter and her husband both had different views about it. Apparently, my husband and I are racist because we wanted peace, not anger.

Everyone seems to get a label nowadays if they disagree with anything.

You weren't defending racism? How could your daughter hope to work that out? I'd assume parents would ban their children from such views.

People often protest when their needs aren't met or they are being disadvantaged in some way.

So the answer most people who agree with the majority of protesters ( who are not violent) would expect is "If those people weren't being marginalised/discriminated against/having their rights ignored, there would not be a protest".

That is the correct answer.

When you go down the route of placing your focus on blaming the protesters or disagreeing with some of their methods, you are (possibly accidentally) defending whatever caused them to be there.

Don't understand the point of your post @ 11.33 VS. I'm sure petitioning the OP's D wouldn't be of any help at all so why suggest that some of us do?

Not sure how someone saying they think it sad and unnecessary to demonstrate violently can be regarded as racist Norah.

It was sarcasm Smileless

Really?

Not sure that sarcasm will help the OP.

It wasn't directed at the OP smileless

BLM protesters are motivated by concern regarding treatment of black people. I think anyone thinking the protests "sad" is indeed racist. I'd not wait for said person to express racism in front of my children - I'd merely permanently remove impressionable children from such people. No debate.

No debate

You've quoted the OP Norah and she didn't say the protests were sad she said demonstrating violently is sad and unnecessary.

Quite right Norah. I find it impossible to believe that the OP did not say more than she is telling us.

Tell that to the suffragettes

The thread running through your posts is that you keep suggesting that you and your DD and SiL 'agree to disagree', you do not seem to ever consider that your political views are abhorrent to your DD, and if, as we are guessing, are racist, are abhorrent to most people. It's no good trying to sweep it all under the carpet, just in order to see your grandchildren, you need to examine your views, and maybe re-consider them. This is all very sad, for the grandchildren most of all who are being weaponised, but I really, really don't believe that you have been treated this way just because you expressed support for peaceful protest. Given the subject matter (BLM, statues, etc), I am assuming that your views, in contrast to your DD's, are right wing and she has had enough of what she thinks are rigid, racist views.

You could be right GSM but we only have what the OP has told us to go on.

daughter did not like our views on certain political issues

Racism isn't political, it's wrong.

Surely people have evolved enough to realize children need not be subjected to people rug sweeping with objections that it's "sad" if BLM demonstrations become violent - I don't recall violence, just shutdowns and disruptions.

HousePlantQueen

The thread running through your posts is that you keep suggesting that you and your DD and SiL 'agree to disagree', you do not seem to ever consider that your political views are abhorrent to your DD, and if, as we are guessing, are racist, are abhorrent to most people. It's no good trying to sweep it all under the carpet, just in order to see your grandchildren, you need to examine your views, and maybe re-consider them. This is all very sad, for the grandchildren most of all who are being weaponised, but I really, really don't believe that you have been treated this way just because you expressed support for peaceful protest. Given the subject matter (BLM, statues, etc), I am assuming that your views, in contrast to your DD's, are right wing and she has had enough of what she thinks are rigid, racist views.

HousePlantQueen "Weaponised"? Odd, goes along with "used as pawns".

No, they're being well and truly protected from what you, also, presume as unacceptable "rigid racist views".

Another concern is that the focus is on the grandchildren, which suggests that daughter and SILs morals are so disrespected they aren't worthy as a loss...

Grandchildren would just go the same way, when old enough to express their views and morals

Smileless2012

You could be right GSM but we only have what the OP has told us to go on.

We rarely get the full story at the start, do we? If ever.

Not always no, but with so little to go on why assume that the OP is racist and if she is and has always expressed views her D finds abhorrent, why allow a close relationship to develop in the first place?

Violet Sky wrote:

"What we need to be teaching children is that some views are not acceptable"

Yes, I agree. However what we don't want to teach them is that because Granny is silly we ought to be cruel to he.

her