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Being undermined and sidelined at work

(41 Posts)
Emm14 Fri 11-May-18 04:06:29

Hi ladies
Can any of you offer some advice?
I am an experienced manager, working for large organisation where I have been for many years. Just recently, a young graduate has joined the workplace, in a section connected to my area of work. Our areas are closely related and we are in the same wider team. She has recently started to take it upon herself to do parts of my job, setting herself up as an expert in my field of work. I find out by chance she has set up some event or meeting etc that is highly relevant to my work and is actually my role. Her line manager thinks she is wonderful and won’t do anything to bring this girl back in line and to focus on her own job. I’m not sure how to deal with this. It is stressing and frustrating me. She is such an arrogant confident young woman, I cannot bear her. Any advice?

cc Fri 11-May-18 13:13:44

If you're not a union member join one NOW. Your HR department and managers are not the people who have your interests at heart. I don't think that there is any point in discussing this with the graduate, she's probably bright enough to know exactly what she is doing. She will report upwards on your conversation, slanted to show herself in the best light and yourself in the worst. You need help and unions have departments of professionals who can advise you on the best course of action and/or act on your behalf.

EmilyHarburn Fri 11-May-18 14:29:56

jenpax is as others have said spot on. I do not think you should 'befriend' this woman. though you can act as a supportive senior colleague. Discuss things as advised in terms of organisational efficiency etc. with your line manager and HR, keep a diary and notify them when this person over steps the mark by duplicating work which it has been agreed is not in her area.

Lets hope that you do not get pushed into a corner and have to leave and do constructive dismissal.

good luck.

dogsmother Fri 11-May-18 14:38:19

Definitely your line manager too, if her line manager is so enamoured then you need an ally whilst sorting this out and holding your ground.
Good luck and stand firm and know it’s young ones wanting to strut their stuff.

Fennel Fri 11-May-18 14:43:07

If it was me I would do a M0nica suggests - have a word with her personally.
I had a similar situation but in my case it was my boss who sometimes trespassed on my patch, taking over projects I'd started. With his weight as senior he achieved results quickly, whereas I would have had to plod along. There was little I could do except drop a few hints and give dirty looks.
It still niggles me, after all these years.

Goodbyetoallthat Fri 11-May-18 17:22:04

I would take a slightly different approach. You have the experience she probably has some new ideas, could you not suggest collaborating on a project? I have been in the same job area for 30 + years & whilst sometimes exasperated by younger colleagues there is often something we can learn from each other. You sound very unhappy I would also talk to her about impinging on your role but avoid the route of formal grievance & constructive dismissal.

Seakay Fri 11-May-18 17:39:07

If you don't know what role the graduate has been given then it seems to be over-personalising the situation to suggest she is not focussing on her own role and job. the fact that her manager is pleased would suggest she is doing what she has been employed to do. If you have an HR department then why don't you get them to explain to you what her role is and how it differs from yours, as you fear inefficiencies and repetitions are occurring at the moment?
Try not to sound bitter and resentful of someone younger than you being good at their job (it is entirely possible that she is an expert in her field) but instead concerned for the smooth and efficient running of the company and desirous to ensure no wasteful repetitions or overlaps in order to provide good outcomes for your customers

leemw711 Fri 11-May-18 18:36:20

Re problems at work: for 30 years I was a school librarian and loved my job - according to colleagues I was good at it too. Then one day our “business manager” came in, pointed at me & said “You, come with me” He escorted me down to the Headmaster’s office & the HM pointed at my chest and said “You’re fired, go up and clear all your personal possessions from the library”. I did so, very sadly as I loved my job, I asked why I was being sacked and was told that I was “too old to work with teenagers”. I was 30, the same age as my boss, and was very tempted to ask whether he intended to sack himself but wasn’t brave enough to do so! I miss my job a lot, miss the contact with former colleagues and the chance to get to know pupils. Still feel very resentful of the way my future was dismissed in such a cavelier way... Presumably the HM sees me as a dinosaur?

Telly Fri 11-May-18 19:13:39

leemw711 - if this correct then it is clear case of discrimination and you should seek legal advice.
OP - make a business case for keeping to roles as outlined in your job description and go and see your manager. Insist that action is taken as, for example: a) working relationships are being damaged, b) duplication leads to waste of resources, whatever else you can think of etc. etc. Write a report and insist that managers get to grips with the situation. This is very common today, with junior staff feeling that they should be in charge from day one. Well it's not on so stand up for yourself. Good luck

Daisynance123 Fri 11-May-18 19:42:57

Personally I recommend a hit squad

driverann Fri 11-May-18 22:04:50

I would not stand for that I would tell HR and management that you feel that they (management HR) have conspired to undermine you cause you stress and unnecessary embarrassment. If they don’t want you they should offer you redundancy**also tell them that you are seeking legal advice on constructive dismissal. ** [even if they did make you redundant and you accepted there is nothing to stop you taking them to a tribunal] To seek compensation because you only accepted redundancy because of the stress they were causing you. I would suggest you contact a lawyer who is a specialist in employment law.

Lilyflower Sat 12-May-18 21:00:38

This happens to everyone. We outgrow our usefulness and relevance and the young need to push us out to have their turn. While it is incredibly painful it is a good reminder that work isn’t everything and that you need to get the next phase planned.

MawBroon Sat 12-May-18 21:09:26

leemw711
While I have every sympathy, something in your post doesn’t add up.
You say you were 30 years a school librarian, yet you were marched into the Head’s office , who was 30 the same as you
No schools I ever taught in had a head of HR. Was this a special,sort of school?

Welshwife Sat 12-May-18 22:40:22

If the poster was a librarian for 30 years and the was 30 when she was dismissed she got the job at a very young age!

midgey Sun 13-May-18 09:33:57

Perhaps the old adage Many a true word spoken in jest might help the op. Ha ha Are you trying to steal my job? Kind of thing?

Emm14 Sun 13-May-18 13:10:35

Thank you all SO much for your response- too many to reply personally but I have got something useful from all of them. It seems my post has struck a chord with many of you. Great advice and I am certainly going to take it. Thanks again smile