Gransnet forums


When does it hit?

(49 Posts)
harry1960 Tue 10-Dec-19 18:07:56

So I'm retiring very soon which is exciting.

Lots of people say the honeymoon phase soon hits you - in your experience, when does the honeymoon phase end?

midgey Tue 10-Dec-19 18:12:38

When you have done all the jobs you had planned!

Doodledog Tue 10-Dec-19 18:13:54


I think it depends on what you did at work. If you had a routine that changed throughout the year, then it will probably take a year to stop thinking 'it's October, so I need to think about X', or whatever. If you didn't have that sort of job, then you'll probably get used to it quite quickly.

I think it will also depend on whether you have other routines in place. If you do, they will quickly take over from the work ones, even if they are just regular coffee dates with friends.

Enjoy the honeymoon for as long as you can smile.

GrandmaMoira Tue 10-Dec-19 18:16:06

Six years on and my honeymoon phase hasn't ended. I'm so glad not to be at work.

BBbevan Tue 10-Dec-19 18:51:53

12 years on and it is still great. Do what you like when you like. Lovely

harry1960 Tue 10-Dec-19 20:27:26

Anything to do to make sure the honeymoon lasts as long as possible?

NotTooOld Tue 10-Dec-19 22:34:12

Mine lasted about three days. Took me years to get used to it. Often wish I was still working. (I'm not actually as miserable as that makes me sound - just honest!)

sodapop Wed 11-Dec-19 08:46:06

I love it 13 years on. Completely new life, new country and husband so much to enjoy.
My working life seems a million miles away now although it was all consuming and fulfilling at the time.
Enjoy Harry1960

JackyB Wed 11-Dec-19 08:53:06

About as long as a holiday from work would have lasted -two or three weeks. Then you should plan a daily routine. Of course, you can break your own rules, and not feel guilty, but some structure is important.

What I am finding is that the daily chores seem to take more than a day now. Which means I'm not getting anything crossed off my to-do list. Mind you, if I sit at the breakfast table doing the puzzles in the paper and reading Gransnet for ages, that's no wonder. So a structure and time limits should help, too.

How exactly would you define the "honeymoon period"?

MawB Wed 11-Dec-19 08:58:26

Harry1960 don’t embark on retirement with preformed expectations. In my experience it all affects us differently. People will tell you to plan a routine, to not plan a routine, to treat it as an extended holiday, not to etc etc.
I can’t say I was aware of any “ honeymoon period” except enjoying my second cuppa in bed on the first INSET day of the new academic year! Yes, there was a loss of career identity, but I became free to be a person in my own right, not a representative of my profession.
Think back (if applicable to you) to the early years of marriage, to the first experience of parenthood, to “empty nest” emotions, to any major change in your life - whether moving house or living alone after years with a life partner.
I have found that patience and a belief in “me, myself” have sustained me at the “ tricky” periods in my life.
Just as I have found I could not “rehearse” bereavement, you can prepare to a certain extent for retirement, but it may not be what you are fearing or looking forward to.
It should be a Third Age and one to relish!

Davida1968 Wed 11-Dec-19 09:04:42

My advice is to give yourself time to adjust and to make sure that you "hold back" from making commitments until you have "settled in" to retirement. My one abiding wish is that I had gone on holiday straight away, after I left work. As it was, we had a month at home, having lots of visitors, and I was worn out by the time we went away!

hicaz46 Wed 11-Dec-19 10:01:21

Yes still loving retirement after 12 years. I really liked my job when working (in the Voluntary sector), but love retirement even more. Lucky enough to be able to do what I want, when I want and fill my days with enjoyable activities. I am a ‘lady’ who lunches, meets friends, learns new things or just has a lazy day. Lovely.

Rosina Wed 11-Dec-19 10:10:03

GrandMoira you and me both! Six years of complete freedom, not answerable to anyone - and I did thoroughly enjoy my job. It's simply wonderful.

Magi Wed 11-Dec-19 10:21:35

You need an physical hobby, a creative crafty hobby and something to keep your brain active - in my opinion!

Helennonotion Wed 11-Dec-19 10:26:44

I'm just over 3 years retired and every day I think how lucky I am. I love being at home for the first time in my life and the freedom to do whatever we want, when we want is still a huge buzz. I don't volunteer. I don't belong any clubs. I 'm a good potterer! My relationship with my DH has improved a great deal as neither of us has the pressures and tiredness of work to deal with. We have long dog walks and can always find something to do. We have the garden, he has his workshop, I love baking, there are shopping trips, visits to parents and the odd breakfast/lunch/tea out. Oh and sitting on GN when I should be out grocery shopping. grin To some it would sound a deadly boring life but it really suits me. I'm so relaxed and unstressed now. Love love LOVE being retired!

Gelisajams Wed 11-Dec-19 10:26:48

I’d second that Magi. I was about to write similar when I read your post!

Coco51 Wed 11-Dec-19 10:28:44

Never! The idea that you ’need’ to work to have an identity is a big con. I had to stop work early for health reasons and am restricted in what I can do, but still there are not enough hours in the day to do what I want to do and when I want to do it 10+ years on. Look forward to choosing what you want to do 🙂🌸

Hm999 Wed 11-Dec-19 10:28:44

Prolong the honeymoon period by planning lots of activities to find out how you'll enjoy spending your time. You'll end up dropping half of them, but you'll meet some lovely people.

Gingergirl Wed 11-Dec-19 10:32:04

I’m also reducing my work (self employed) right down in the new year, to coincide with my husband doing the same. I envisage stopping altogether in a year or so. I’m not that good with big changes and transitions but I’ve decided to take it a day at a time. There are some interests I have that I will spend more time on but on the whole, I don’t really know what to expect from this new stage in life. I think we are all different and we need to have an open mind and see what evolves. At the end of the day though, I think retirement will be whatever we make it, All the best,

Nanny41 Wed 11-Dec-19 10:44:35

I retired at this time of year three years ago, it is lovely not to have to get up early on these dark mornings and do as I wish every day, BUT I would go back to work tomorrow,I miss work and all my work friends.
I find lots to do, too many things sometimes, but there is nothing like working at the job you love and do best.
You will adapt, so enjoy the new situation

Theoddbird Wed 11-Dec-19 11:09:17

Me too. Handed in my notice yesterday. Last day is 31st December. I had not heard about this honeymoon period. I have planned two months to see craft and relax and then plan my future. Hope yours goes well

polnan Wed 11-Dec-19 11:13:51

well I retired over 20 years ago with dh. loved my job, but changes, I had to retire a couple or so years before I intended, so finances not of the best..

but hey,,, 20 lovely years,, could have gone on , but my dh died Nov. 12th... now I wish I had a job etc.. (I am 83 before anyone tells me to get another job) voluntary work? done some of that... but no one seems to want the elderly, think we all need phone calls? I am not good on the phone, don`t hear so well, but also don`t think it the best form of sharing time..
I would LOVE to find some people who would like a visit from me.... for coffee and a natter... I have car, but short journeys only

went to Age UK some years back, passed all tests etc.. and what a lot of .... never heard back from them.

just saying

harry1960 Wed 11-Dec-19 11:14:41

Thanks @Magi @Gelisajams!

Did you find it difficult to find that physical/creative craft hobby / how did you do it?

WOODMOUSE49 Wed 11-Dec-19 11:17:46

Now been retired 10 years. The honeymoon is still going strong.

I had interests away from work and my 'to do' list is still there.
Things keep being added.

Over the 10 years I have:
Started a small craft business
Met up with a boyfriend from the late 1960s and married him
Moved to Cornwall
Got into gardening in a big way (polytunnel)
Adopted a dog
About to learn a new skill/craft.
Visited lots of gardens around Cornwall. ... ... ... ... ... ...

Work - whilst I loved it (teaching but not the management) I do not miss it at all.

Have fun Harry60

Lancslass1 Wed 11-Dec-19 11:43:26

I retired 24 years ago..
Still love it.