When is a favour not a favour.

I work as a volunteer for a food bank. I am often told at the end of the day to help myself to what is left, including non perishables. I never do this. Recently my daughter, who is single but ill at the moment and unable to work, asked me if she would be eligible for help from it. She certainly would but I told her, no, I will help her out. And I do. I am a single, retired person and not particularly well off, but I can, luckily, help my own a little. I was under the impression that foodbanks existed to give to those in need, which may or may not have to be proven as far as I can tell. They are not for those who have the means to feed themselves. This man sounds like someone purely out for himself and does not deserve the free food he gets, unless of course he really IS in poverty. So too with the bullying (that’s what it is!) for money in exchanged for (likely bungled) jobs. Cut the help, tell him no, people are in much worse straits than him and there are no longer the resources for food to be given away willy nilly. If he needs help he is well able to get it himself and must do so from now on.

I do not agree this neighbour should be doing a job for free unless he offers. The food is not costing OP anything at all, she is meant to distribute it free of charge not make a profit from it. How can you call yourself a volunteer if you make a profit in any way. Like others have said, this is very strange way of volunteering. I understand you get some food that may otherwise go to waste, but it is your job to distribute it to people who cannot afford food themselves in quantities they really need and you should certainly not expect favours in return.

He wants money from you for a simple job that friends / neighbours do for free - that is already nasty. Add to it, the fact that you practically feed him, and it makes him the poster boy for avarice and nastiness and cheek. So, speak up. It is not his business how muich you pay for services. Tell him that you do nto want to enter into busiensss deals with him - and if push comes to shove, remind him of the botched fence issue. Also, give him less stuff, and see what happens. He is one entitled spoiled brat.

I would say -‘if you clean the gutter I will give you some food this week from my wages’
See what he says, if he says he wants cash get someone else to do it and stop the food parcels.
Some people don’t know a good thing even when it hits them in the face.

Amalegra, the food is not from a food bank in this instance it's from a "waste reduction" company.

Yes STOP giving him free food- if he needs it then he can either go through olio himself like everyone else- or if he needs it free go to a foodbank- if he asks why just come straight out and say in exchange for the jobs doing you will provide some of what you get- like 'bob a job' week only paid in food.If not just say where you volunteer theyve cut back on giveaways as more folk need the food.- Just a thought but if you get so much youre giving it away to greedy neighbours then why not take less home or none if you dont need it? Leave for others who might 🤔

Amelegra- YOUR DAUGHTER needs the free food right now- you dont have to provide for her out of your pocket- if she wants to ask if shes eligible for food bank help then she can- why are you saying no?- are you ashamed that your own family would be using food bank, because you work there.? Thats not up to you its up to her if she wants to apply.If you want to help her and her not apply then why not take her a bit of the stuff when they tell you to help yourself?? At least its then going to folk who need it.

I think that OldWoman70 has hit the nail on the head.

Regardless of where the food comes from, one good turn deserves another. The solution is simple.......stop giving him the food.
I have no doubt there are other people more deserving than your selfish neighbour - I know, if I asked my neighbour to clean my gutter he would accept any payment but would be very grateful for some home baking, fresh veg from the garden etc.

This sounds very odd to me. The food is not donated (as far as I understand) for the benefit of the volunteers unless they are in genuine need and I would assume that there must be some sort of checks and balances to make sure that the system is not being abused.
I am not blaming the volunteers but rather those people who have been entrusted with managing the system. They do not have ownership of the food and are in fact expected to manage what must by now be dwindling resources in the fairest way possible.
Do you have a written contract stating that you will be 'paid' in food for volunteering? If so why are you accepting more food than you need? I see that you re-distribute it to neighbours etc. and I guess you think that is fair and honest.
But is it really? You are, to put it harshly, giving away publicly donated food in the hope of cost-free favours when you need to do household repairs etc. There are several 'red flags' popping up around this belief system.
When we read of mothers going without food so that they can feed their children it seems horrifying to think there is some sort of racket taking place so that food which might go to them is being used as a form of black market economy. How many people who buy extra food to donate at the supermarket when they are struggling to make their own money stretch to feed their families but still feel a duty to help others who have even less will now stop and wonder where the food is really going? Will they feel deceived and will those people who really need this help be denied it?

Sago

I would give the food to a food bank.

Yes - me too. If they're giving you more than you need, pass it on to those who need it, not your freeloading neighbour.

You are too kind and you are not doing yourself any favours. Try and find a much needier recipient and tell him next door you are spreading your kindness due to CLC (cost of living crisis).
Surely you don't need his paid help, I would keep quiet and tell no more of your business. Genuine people reward with kindness.

If you are paid in food and able to give so much away you are being paid too much. Tell your neighbour he will need to go collect the food himself, you are reducing the amount you collect in faurness to those who need the food. I am assuming Foodstop is like a foodbank, people in need access the service for food.

AIBU in thinking people should read the thread BEFORE commenting!

Grannygrumps1

Tickingbird… that’s exactly what I think. But I’m never quick enough to think that and say it.
I agree with all your comments. But just getting it to move forward easily without losing a friend is my issue.

He's not much of a friend if he takes and takes but doesn't give anything back.

I agree to stop giving him So much. When we do something nice too often it becomes the normal, think back and I’m sure at first he was happy and grateful. Now probably it’s just normal and expected. People really do take advantage sometimes.

If I were you I would lessen contact with your neighbour. He sounds like a real leech.
Well done on your charity work.

I would be asking myself, what am I getting from this friendship? Relationships (of any kind) are a two way street. You provide free food what is he offering to the friendship? You speak about loosing the friendship but is it worth saving? I would have an honest open talk with him saying that you are feeling used and annoyed that he wont do these small tasks for free! Point out that you pay someone because if you have to shell out you would rather do so with a tradesman with whom there is then a commercial contract than a neighbour where there is not

Granny Grumps 1 - Your neighbour is taking you for granted. Sure, he knows you are not actually buying the food for him, but you are collecting it, incurring some cost. This amounts to going out to the supermarket and doing his shopping for him on a weekly basis. Unless you put what you're doing for him into a proper context he will continue to offer to do jobs for you at "mate's rates" which fails to recognise your contribution towards his life. From now on I would scale down what you do for him, tell him that the food is intended for those in need and you're redistributing it to refugee families who have been identified for you. A favour is something that needs no repayment but your favour to him has become a ritual that he expects. Give the food to someone else.

Lots of comments about volunteers and not getting paid and anything one does get having to be declared to the taxman - this is not actually the case. Volunteers in some organisations (large and small) are offered vouchers for their meals during volunteer days and their travel expenses to and from the site of volunteering. These things definitely do not have to be declared to the IR.

I’ve found to my cost that people don’t always appreciate your generosity!

I had some flat mates when I was a student who treated my stuff as if it was their own. My radio ended up in someone else’s room, and I was having to ask for it back if I wanted to listen to it. (I’d go and look in the other bedrooms for it if that happened to me now). The couple I shared with decided to cook a pudding using my last egg, which was the only egg in the flat! I started hiding my things at my boyfriend’s flat, so they couldn’t casually use them. Not food - I just didn’t leave that around.

If I were you, I’d just dial back on the food sharing, and hopefully he’ll start to be a bit more polite. And I’d stop sharing any of the financial details of my life! The thought of someone being so intrusive sets my hackles right up - I need my privacy!

CatsCatsCats

But does he know you get the food for free?

I don’t think that matters. If it’s saving him money he should be happy to do some small jobs when asked as a kind if trade.

Just curious - do you qualify as needing free food?

Fessing up. Haven't read all the posts. Did anyone suggest that maybe the food was about to go out of date, and therefor had to be disposed of quickly?

Stop being so generous.

If you give, give, give, people will take, take, take.

Stop or scale back right away.

I don't feel that your neighbour should be receiving any food directly from you. I thought food banks had criteria and gave food to people in real need, and only for a set period of time.