When is a favour not a favour.

It isn't a food bank.

Its aim is to prevent food wastage, so if I have too much of something it's free for anyone to have, rather than it going in the bin.

Things like hoovering the gutter or mowing your lawn would be a nice gesture especially as you are passing the food on to him. But I certainly wouldn't expect it! It's not as if the food is costing you anything but your time volunteering which you would probably be doing anyway.

But if you think some repayment is due then just up to you to ask (as he's never going to offer). Eg "I can get you some free groceries this week - could you mow my lawn in return?".

Next time this situation comes up tell him straight😡

Can’t believe you are doing voluntary work distributing food and taking things home and dishing out to neighbours. That sounds me like taking advantage of your VW. Obviously I don’t know the rules and maybe it’s what’s left over once those in need have taken what they need. I would definitely stop supplying neighbours, surely if they need food they should collect it themselves?
Plus if you want to employ people to do jobs no doubt you make sure they are covered by insurance, all you need is for your neighbour to have an accident on your premises whilst doing a job cheap and puta claim against your house insurance.

Stop giving and doing for him. Find some local single mom's you can donate too and circulate what you give between a few.

He won't like it. That's his problem. There are other people struggling out there.

You don't need to be taken for granted. He shouldn't be expecting from you like he is.

As for charging you, he has got one major cheek. He will need you before you need him. Put your foot down. The worst he can do is not speak to you.

I think him not speaking to you is a benefit

There is some misunderstanding of what OLIO is by some posters I think.
However, I do agree with you that he expects a large amount of food, takes it for granted, and shows no gratitude.
Could you perhaps:
i) take less from the supermarket or whatever place you generally collect from if you are finding it hard to distribute it all
ii) speak to mother & toddler groups, other friends and neighbours to see if there are needy folk nearby who are unaware of OLIO and get them to sign up
iii) give a lot less to your neighbour as a result of i or ii above, but don't be too blunt as it's best not to risk antagonising him if neither of you is moving house!

Maybe look at your relationship with this neighbour and consider what needs of your own you have been trying to meet by giving him all this food. Did he ask you for this food or did you take the initiative by giving it to him. Could you be a person who easily falls into or seeks out relationships which are co-dependent, where one person is the giver and one is the taker.. A person who finds themselves in a co-dependent relationship may feel a duty to be compassionate and helpful to others. They will be attracted to needy people and go out of their way to help them. And needy or self centered people will accept it where a more balanced person would not want to be given to so unequally. When all the care and help that has been given is not returned, the giver can become angry and resentful. The other person is then likely to become angry and resentful also. This does not sound like a healthy friendship between you and your neighbour for either of you.

Recently I commented on a thread that I hadn’t read the whole way through and it was courteously pointed out to me that I should read the whole thread if I’m going to comment. I am courteously pointing that out to those who have not read this whole thread! (Even though I’m really cross with you!)

Maremia

Fessing up. Haven't read all the posts. Did anyone suggest that maybe the food was about to go out of date, and therefor had to be disposed of quickly?

Yes, it's an anti-waste company.

I wonder how this situation arose in the first place? Did the neighbour suggest you could give him food? Why was that?

I don’t want be harsh about your neighbour, but it does sound to me as if he may be manipulating you, re paying him to do your the odd jobs. He seems to feel he’s entitled to a share of anything you’ve got!

I’m concerned that he’s involving himself in your life, you could end up in a situation where he’s controlling you.

Sorry to sound alarmist, but in this situation I’d be setting up firm boundaries between my neighbour and myself.

avoid this neighbour.
don't give him stuff.
certainly don't ask or allow him to do any jobs for you.
keep him at a distance.
don't share any personal information with him.
no need to be unpleasant, just be vague, busy.
i think you have been naive; you must wise up to protect yourself better.

I would graduallly give him less and less food and tell him that the organizations you work for have changed their policies such that you are no longer allowed to bring it away. Encourage him to join himself if he wants free food.

Without knowing more about this gentleman neighbor - is he destitute? Does he get a pension? Does drive a car? Is he a recluse? His age? Retired? Does he have family? Does he do odd jobs for others?… all that and more… I’d say you are doing the right thing if he’s totally down on his luck by giving him food.

If he’s an able-bodied man then he’s just a free loader (as we say in the U.S.) I can see why you are questioning the “favor in return” act of a thoughtful, conscientious individual. I think he owed you that favor.

So going forward perhaps you should have some “understanding” between the two of you - he gets free food and you get a helping hand for occasional menial jobs that you’re unable to do. It’s fair.

Hard to get out of this snaggle without disrupting the friendship… if it’s just a platonic friendship.

My last word - on Volunteering - no matter which non-profit agency it is in whatever field, it is admirable work. Especially in the healthcare field my former Volunteers were doing God’s work. Amen!
Cheers!
USA Gundy

"This gentleman neighbour" is no gentleman. A gentleman does not take hundreds of pounds worth of free food without ever giving in return - his giving could be using his time and skills for a lady who has given her own time and energy to administer the distribution of the food that he has accepted.

When sharing surplus food is being done for the benefit of the community, then sharing something in return is a suitable reaction.

Ive read so many threads (and also come across in my own personal life) a situation where there is an asymmetrical relationahip like this. One person is doing all the giving and the other takes and takes without ever offering anything back. In effect they have really got their claws in.

One of the surest ways of breaking the cycle is to physically take some time away. Take a holiday or go visit some relatives or travel on business. The reason/explanation does not matter. When you "return" be a lot more brisk and distant and unable to do the same favours. Your work/family life has got busier, the organizations have changed their policies, etc. This will enable you to put the relationship (if indeed you want to keep it) on a more professional basis whereby you only employ him as a tradesperson on the basis of being a customer.

An opportunity to reset the boundaries.