Why do I have such a DIL?

I have wondered why you have focused on your DIL in your thread title and only seem to blame her for the situation. Your son must share the responsibility for how his children are treated and especially with reference to the physical abuse you have cited. I am also wondering why you do not want to say more about your grand son's treatment at the hands of his other grandfather. To give up or accept this behaviour must break your heart and your husband's so why are you giving up ?

Soutra it sounds as though msmac has had an email from GNHQ asking her not to talk about it. [shrug]

That wouldn't have occurred to me do you reckon?

Right at the end of msmac's last post, Soutra...

I will try and answer a few questions, then I am finished with the problem (teeth) on here due to the fact I had a message asking me to stop talking about it. I am going to respect that and no longer talk about the teeth etc. I do not feel it is necessary to say who sent it. It would not change the fact that it was sent.
I asked when I went to the CYS (child and youth services), at first I called and then I went to the office, that if I wrote a letter, if anything would help. They still contend it is hear say, I have no direct knowledge of it happening. It was told to me by my grandson and son. My son said it didn't matter to him, he felt his child had not been hurt (yes, there was a discussion between him, my husband and myself) but to no avail. My son said he stood there while my dil held the child and you know the rest. he is not going to inform on himself for not helping the child. My son takes her side in all and will not see anything different. My husband and I have tried to talk to both of them, him alone, but the has changed and is not the son we used to know.
He was a friendly, helpful person, not anymore. He seems to hate the world. He has not let anyone from his side of the marriage ever meet his children and my gs will be 6 next month. We have a large family and the gc have a great grandmother that they have never met. Only her side counts. He doesn't initiate talking to us. I guess he hasn't figured out communication is a two way street. He didn't even let us know when the new baby was being born, we found out through a friend. She is 1 1/2 months old now. The reason I don't talk about him is that he is pretty much, not in the picture, he defends everything she says or does. He has no ideas of his own. When we ask him a question, he tells us to talk to her. You can't get through to him. And he is our only child. So, we have lost our son and gs. Maybe, it will be easier for you to understand how hard it is. Both my husband and I are miserable, but both coping.
I truly appreciate the nice words and thoughts people have given me. Thank you for reaching out.

Oh, I forgot. I am not giving up. As I stated, I have contacted his teacher, dentist, doctor so that they may watch out for any unusual/abusive situations. Therefor, an actual documented incident can be given to the stubborn CYS people. I am still trying, but I am getting no where, yet.

Still don't read it that way Ana I took "post" to mean letter i.e. from a Child Protection agency or S S in the US. I have never been aware of any censorship of that sort from GNHQ.

Sorry - another case of crossed posts.

the "wishing me well" sounds familiar.

msmac, I guess that is all we can do, for you and^ yourgrandson - wish you well. Please keep trying to help him.

No, the post was from someone on here. And thanks again for everything to everyone.

Oh my gosh!

Take no notice then.

(Sorry HQ)

Well if it was only another member they are of course entitled to their opinion, as is anybody but there is nothing "official" (as far as I know) about any of us, so whether you heed their "advice/request" is entirely up to you. A PM telling one of us to stop writing about a topic would be like a red rag to a bull to me - and quite a few others I imagine!!

There, now you all know. Is this official enough?

JulieGransnet (GNHQ) Sat 13-Sep-14 20:37:54

Hi all.

Many thanks to those who have been in touch. We'd prefer it if you report anything that you're worried about rather then say it on the thread. It can often be upsetting for people who post asking for help if others assume their problem isn't genuine.

msmac. We're so sorry to read about the problems that your grandson is having. We do urge you to speak to the NSPCC, www.nspcc.org.uk, they have a phone line which is 0808 800 5000 and it's open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. If you think that he's in immediate danger, you need to call 999. If you're not in the UK, you need to call your emergency police number.

We hope that you manage to find a way to help him.

GNHQ.

As msmac says she thinks someone reported her, it seems more likely that she had an email from GNHQ. Which of course you ignore at your peril!

Oops, my mistake - crossed posts and obviously crossed wires!

Oh right! I thought you meant you had had a private e-mail. JulieGN was trying to help. As we all were.

Although it wasn't actually you that the bit about reporting was aimed at, msmac, but those who had expressed doubts about the seriousness of your posts on the thread.

I obviously misunderstood what was to be said on here and not. I have not written about what I have been asked not to. It is your forums and I must of done something very wrong. I am not from the UK and here in the US, a forum is somewhere you go and talk to people. They understand, not always agreeing with you, but do the best they can.
It is sort of an airy of your troubles. And knowing someone else is going through something similar. That you are not the only one going through such things.
Why did I pick this forum, I did not realize that it was in the UK, until lately. And, when I was reading some of the threads, everyone seemed to really care, not be judgmental and harsh. Let the person try and explain.
It was obviously my fault and it will not happen again.

Nowhere did Julie tell you not to post msmac.

Julie was thinking of you and your feelings when she posted that. You haven't read it properly.

I do not want to re hash all the "people not believing me". I left and only returned when a nice person PM me and asked me to. She reached out and it was very nice of her.
Ana, that is why I am trying not to discuss it, I was asked not to-at my own peril.
I am going forward with whatever legal things I can do, I have a lawyer and read my previous posts. Please, move on. I can't take all that over again.
I am trying to do as asked.

"We'd prefer it if you report anything that you're worried about rather then say it on the thread. It can often be upsetting for people who post asking for help if others assume their problem isn't genuine."

I took this as stop talking about it. If I am wrong then maybe JulieGN could explain it to me.

again, I did report it, and a lot of other things..

" I was asked not to-at my own peril. "

Rubbish.

No way is Julie going to come on here to explain it. Nothing to explain. You have read the post wrongly. That's all.

I'm getting off here now.

Me too. Good bye.