to expect mail to be addressed to me?

The flip side of this coin is that yesterday I received a demand notice for payment of my personal accident insurance policy, which was paid on the due date by direct debit from my husband's account along with his.

As the notification from the bank has both the policy number and the client number assigned by the insurance company on it, I wrote a very stiff e-mail to the company, about it, especially because their demand notice was downright rude, and am waiting to see if or when they apologise!

So ladies, even if we have the same surname as our DHs which I do, paying things from an account in the other's name seems really to throw a spanner in the works.

I still have a letter from the Inland Revenue addressed to my then husband in which it informs him that I was due a refund of some of the tax that I had paid, advising him of why and letting him know they would pay the money directly to me! At the time I was earning more than he was but was still expected to be his inferior and by him too!

It breaches various provisions and DATA rules.
Complain long and loudly.

When I was first married I went into a well known electrical retailer to buy a washing machine. I chose the model and then the assistant said 'Now we'll just need to make a phone call to your husband to see if it's ok for you to have a credit agreement'. We were both working, and I earned the same amount as my husband, I was twenty four - and absolutely enraged. I drew myself up to my full 5'2' and announced that as a woman with the vote, and her own bank account, I was extremely offended, and had intended in any event to pay cash from MY OWN bank account. I really wanted to leave the shop with a flourish and slam the door but the machine was a fantastic bargain so I paid cash, when I had really wanted credit, and left myself with about £1.50 to last the month. However, honour was satisfied, salesman had a good lesson I hope, and we always share our money anyway so I didn't starve.

I have a joint a/c with my husband which is his really but he can't really operate it himself being disabled. I have my own a/c too. What I say is, what is his is ours, and what's mine is my own!

we have a joint account in fact 3 joint accounts...we both work for the money in the same businesses and it goes into one account ...makes sense to me.Its OUR money nobody ever says you cant spend what's there .I would think it odd to have seperate accounts...but I suppose if you dont fully trust your partner its different.We also get ONE letter with two new cards..thats not a problem either saves on paper and stamps doesn't it.If its addressed to the joint account holders surely either can open it ?

We always get individual letters with the cards for our joint account both from our last bank and the one we changed to two weeks ago. I don’t think it is
on to send them together.

You should have received your card addressed to you, I would also notify the bank of their error. I have often come across this problem. Since my husband died I have received letters addressed to him even though I had notified every company of what had occurred. The final straw came when i was telephoned by one said company who asked to speak to him directly.. I snapped and said they would need to be telepathic. I now exist... after a lot of protest!

I must be so last century but I am happy being Mrs (husbands Christian name) our surname. We were forces & I'm so lucky to still have him after 50 years & a heart attack later. All we have is joint including the children & that's the way I like it.....

Big problem with joint accounts is what happens when one of you 'becomes late' (as Alexander McCall Smith puts it). My mother had an awful job retrieving money from a joint account as the bank insisted on a letter from my late Dad as proof she wanted to empty and close the account.

Luckily Mum also had her own account too to live on until the estate was settled.

Dogsmother - things may have changed these days but the correct way to address a married lady was always as "Mrs (husband's name or initial) Surname". This often extended to widows. The only time a woman reverted to her own initial was after divorce or separation.

Aslemma, I considered this.
And it was a royal garden party so all very correct. I was just unhappy that I couldn’t be addressed as my self and not an extention of my husband who wasn’t even attending.
Protocols, humphing still ....

This has made me so very cross. Even in this day and age, women are still considered to be an extension of their husbands.
Years ago, I owned a modest sailing yacht - not because I'm wealthy, but because I lived on it, having no house on land.
I owned the boat, sailed it and navigated all by myself, and did most of the necessary repairs, yet when I asked a man friend aboard, he was always referred to as 'Cap'n' and I was relegated to the galley!
Some things never change

When I got married MY bank account (Royal Bank of Scotland) became our joint account. From that date onwards my bank cards were sent to my husband and it infuriated me so much I used to phone them to complain. I complained every time but it didn't make any difference. No idea if they still do this as I got so angry I moved my account to another bank.

Never had that problem from either Bank where Account was in my name first as it had been a sole Account but I later added him.

Building Society was in his name first but we got individual letters & cards sent to person whose name was on them.

These days I find it is common for a widow to use her own initial, I have moved so to be Mrs Husband's name or initial would not be appropriate. I am however proud of my surname which is very unusual.

Our joint accounts are addressed to both of us. I also have a store credit card with my husband as a second cardholder and that always comes addressed to me with his new card as well. It's annoying that accounts like BT and Sky, although in his name, have to be authorised by him for me to talk to them on the phone. It could just as easily be in my name though, with me having to give authority! It wouldn't bother him one jot.

A very annoying things is that when we go on holiday, we notify our banks that we will be out of the country and even with a joint account we both have to ring them separately!

After my divorce I changed back to my old family name. A year or so ago I was cold called by some chap demanding to speak to Mr Maiden Name. I told the idiot that he'd need to consult a medium as Mr Maiden Name has been dead since 1977.
That shut him up!

Are you sure you didn’t sign up for “only 1 copy of mail” some time in the past? We used to bank with NatWest and I remember them asking us if we wanted copies of statements etc sent to us both individually, or 1 copy between us. When we selected 1 copy they warned us that it would be addressed to the first-named person on the account (which was me). Just the way their system worked.

We bank with NatWest but I get separate, individually addressed cards, cheque books etc.

I would be very cross... and have been once before... complained strongly and tbh the bank has never repeated its mistake...

hildajenniJ
There will have had to have been two signatures where a joint account is concerned and banks do not go out to give the impression the husband has any priority. Possibly your husbands was the first signature on the application hence the card was sent to him .
Did you read the contents of the letter with your card?
It is not discrimination 'me tarzan you jane' so both of you make an appointment to visit the bank and advise them of your wishes or have your own personal account.

Jane10, it depends on how the account is set up. My late parents had the same arrangement that we do, ie the account(s) can be operated by 'either or survivor'. When my father died, my mother had full access to their joint accounts, and had to give them a death certificate only so that my father's name could be removed from the records. The bank (RBS) was very helpful and sympathetic, I must say.

For variety of reasons, I became the main (and mostly sole) breadwinner in our family so it was a sore point that our joint bank statements were addressed to DH but I was too busy to do anything but compose letters of complaint in my head.............

Daisydoo2 something similar happened to me - someone rang me and was going on about something, told him wasn't interested and he said "well I spoke to Mr ** a couple of weeks ago and he was very interested" I replied do you have a ouija board he said "no why", my response "he's been dead for 5 years" (which was true) - no reply for about 20 seconds then the phone went dead.

Jane10 when I went into the bank to change our joint bank account into my name after my husband passed away, the clerk was going to cancel the mortgage as well- I asked him why, and he said the insurance will pay it off, seeing as the insurance was in my name only (due to my husband's illness insurance would have been too expensive and also probably wouldn't have paid out if one particular reason for death was on the certificate) it wouldn't have paid off. Was just as well the clerk had said about it instead of just doing it automatically otherwise it would have caused problems at a later date. (He was 15 years older than myself)