Not to want to wear matching outfits?

How utterly absurd. Ignore it.

I would just say sorry you don't think the proposed dress would suit you and you have already decided on a dress. Have you already bought it? Don't fib if you haven't got it yet. It is important to be truthful with your dil from the word go or she might not trust you in the future. Good luck.

I have watched this thread with increasing incredulity, it is hilarious.
I have been both MOB and MOG ,once each, and in neither case have even discussed my outfit with anyone.
I didn't see the wedding or bridesmaid's dresses until they walked into church in the case of my S.
Mind you both were long enough ago for the huge fuss made today to have come into effect.

Is it a 1st of April joke ?

Who are these brides dictating ivory or off white for the mothers at formal weddings?? The bride must look like she's being stalked by bloody Miss Havisham

The guests will all be whispering behind your back, thinking it's a mistake then u will spend all day telling everyone it wasn't your choice

When two people wear the same outfit, one is always going to come off worst. Don't even think about it. Just seen 2 ladies on holiday together, wearing the same bikini round the pool. Enjoy the day in your own choice of clothes. Feel confident and relaxed. Do not be browbeaten by your future DiL. They don't get easier. Believe me.

I have 2 DDs and they each have a MiL. We three are different sizes, shapes, colouring etc. We get all get on well, but I shudder to think what we’d have looked like in identical outfits. That’s without considering what a weird idea it is. Tricky one to sort out though.

Gummy

I would love to know what the thinking is behind this, I have never heard of a MOB who wanted someone else to turn up in the same dress, really weird. Just do what everybody else suggests and tell them its already hanging in the wardrobe. If you know what the general colour theme is you could go along with that in the interests of future DIL relations. What is she going to suggest for your DS?

What a stupid idea. Just say very sorry but you're already fixed up and you know the suggested outfit wouldn't be suitable for you. It does make you wonder what your son is letting himself in for.

Sounds a bit strange to me.
When I was choosing an outfit for my sons wedding my daughter and DIL came with me to offer advice. We made a really nice outing of it as I had no idea what to wear. Coffee and cake after the purchase delicious.
Just say thank you for the suggestion but you would like to choose your own outfit.
Most women would avoid wearing the same outfit I would have thought.

Maybe it's how the bride wants to include you, wich is sweet of course. But if you really don't want to wear that dress, and this without hurting the bride's feelings, maybe you could suggest picking out another dress you both like? Maybe she's just afraid you and her mom will clash in totally different outfits? There must be a way to compromise!

Sod that for a game of soldiers as my gran would have said!
You choose what you like & feel comfortable in.
What a flaming cheek!
I did actually go shopping for my outfit with my DiL's mum when first son got married but we got on well & enjoyed the experience- also made sure our outfits complimented each other. My other son's wife came with me when I was looking for my outfit for their wedding but she is such a brilliant shopper that I asked her to come & I chose it. I often ask her to get me something now- she LOVES shopping & gets me things I would never have noticed in my mad rush to buy anything & go home!
Get a fab outfit that you love!

How completely odd! Never heard of this before.Id just say a firm no.

Have you managed to sort it out @grannywonder?

I am pretty non confrontational & generally tend not to rock the boat.
However this would be a direct no from me!
Frankly it is an absurd suggestion which is likely to make you both look foolish.

What's been decided grannywonder? Did your DiL see the error of her ways or are you wearing clothes matching her mother's?

I'm wondering also what happened here! There were so many responses to this post the least the OP could do is update us. It's been 6 weeks so something must have happened?

I feel bad I had pink and purple bridesmaids and wanted mil and mum to wear pink or purple! I did it because I wanted them to feel included and part of the wedding party but looking back was controlling! Oh dear! Maybe she did same as me and wanted you to be part of the wedding party? Maybe try and explain you don't suit pastel colours is there a similar dress in a different colour as it's a nice dress but not your colour and agree you think her mum will look beautiful? Luckily my mil and mum did love their dresses and have worn them to different occasions since so my bridezilla ways didn't affect them the same way it's affecting you!

Febmum==Bridezilla love it! ++

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I think that’s a great idea merlotgran. My twin sister (size 14 and blonde) and I (size 8 and brunette) decided to try the same dress on, well we took one look at ourselves in the floor length mirror and said we would never ever do that again. It was a fun thing to do though.

gummybears

Who are these brides dictating ivory or off white for the mothers at formal weddings?? The bride must look like she's being stalked by bloody Miss Havisham

Thats what my mother did at my wedding gummybears

Although I didnt dictate or even suggest what she should wear. She just surprised me with a white skirt suit.

She went shopping with my SisterIL who also wore white with a white hat to boot!!

Its a pity grannywonder didnt come back to tell us how things panned out.