AIBU to live in hope that even controversial threads can avoid personal abuse?

PECS

Progress beyond mindless sloganising

In order to develop a reasoned argument, we need to progress mindless sloganising.

Well I agree that is a problem! But at least we have tried to rebutt assumptions with factual evidence and not one anecdotal incident!

PECS I agree although challenging the concept/idea/opinion with fact/evidence just does not work with posters who are unable to see beyond their own version of reality.

Always best to challenge the concept/idea/ opinion with some fact /evidence. Slamming the individual poster or being 'snide' does not progress an argument.

All of us see posts which we consider dumb, naive or just WRONG. And we can point out the errors. But it's totally POINTLESS to tell that person of an opposite mindset that they (not their idea) are evil, stupid etc. That certainly won't make them recant. It'll probably set them more firmly than ever in their beliefs.
Thus one can only say that ranting, abusive types are innately immature and stupid. Not necessarily uneducated (I've seen clever folk do it too!) but lacking a calm, measured response. And MAYBE not totally sure of what they're saying- when you KNOW you're right, you donb't need to scream and shout. If others disagree you shrug - their loss! But if your argument's not hitting home, if you're being asked questions you can't convincingly answer...then I think that's when people throw a tantrum!

I agree Nina the Nana. I don't let people to shout at me with their views in "real life" so don't want it on line..

We all have different experiences and circumstances in our lives; plus there is also a wide age spectrum from 40s to much older. We should listen to the input of everyone, even if we disagree, without making people feel uncomfortable and insulted. This is part of being a community.

A few years ago there were one or two people who just worked on screwing up any political threads.....not at the time of the referendum particularly. The tone is better now I believe and should.continue so I don't feel the need to leave.

I stick by the "if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all" mantra.
I never read the politics threads. If I come across something I majorly don't agree with on a thread, I leave and bore DH with the details and my opinions
I'm not affraid to post an opinion but don't want to get into trading insults etc. with other posters.

Last comment very true Smileless

Some good comments on this thread. It would indeed be a very boring site if we were all in agreement at all times, on all issues. That said, as many have already posted it isn't necessary to be rude or aggressive because your point of view differs to some one else.

Lemon "it takes courage to bare all and deserves a respectful reply", so true.

I sometimes think that there is a mistaken assumption that those who do post on the relationships forum, are simply looking for total agreement. Another point of view is always worthy of consideration but at times it's how that point of view is expressed that causes upset.

It always saddens me when a poster feels unable to continue to post, because they've been upset by ill informed and confrontational responses.

Often, they are the very people who at that time, are in need of all the support they can find.

If I disagree face to face with friends/sisters I do it in a nice way. I think we should endeavour to treat GNetters the same. I'm sure I don't always manage but I try. In some ways its more important on GN because you can hurt someone and not have an opportunity to undo it. So GN can be counterproductive.

lemon ?

Poppyred avoid political threads and Royal Family threads

Believe it Poppy

The relationships threads should always be above any cut and thrust such as the politics and news threads, it takes courage to ‘bare all’ and deserves a respectful reply.

Wow hard to believe that comments were even more vitriolic a few years back! I have found one or two people on here hell bent on being nasty and personal, especially on the political forums. One of them has even commented on this discussion on how unnecessary it is. ??. On the whole most people are nice though I must say.

GN is far better in the last year, and yes Annie you are right!

I think most people will always challenge total nonsense PECS but what constitutes total nonsense depends on your own views.Nobody should challenge anything though, if they are not prepared for comeback.

The political threads are calmer because some topics are not mentioned .

on 'contraversial' threads I try hard to stick to facts, challenge what I believe is not based on truth. But being human I do not always succeed! I will also challenge total nonsense

Amen to that MissA!

I think the most confrontational people left, and its so much nicer without them.

It's difficult sometimes in the heat of the moment Melanie when one feels very strongly about something,the post is out there. Also the post does not always read the way the poster intended.

Sorry, I ought to have written ever written in second sentence of my first paragraph.

I have noticed sometimes on threads that people get very heated and write what I would call unpleasant remarks. Luckily, no-one has every written unkindly about my posts (perhaps they are inwardly cross sometimes although I try not to offend).

If I don't like the way a post is heading, I just stop contributing to it for one thing and basically ignore the quarrels between one or two posters.

We are all different but I think, if I really disagreed with someone, I'd try and put my comments as pleasantly as possible.