.... to wonder what the hell is happening

M0nica look out for him (as I know you will)
DD deteriorated before our eyes - but we got so used to her stressing that we were oblivious to her true suffering

megan
Thank you for that glimmer of hope
I might sleep better tonight

Dear, dear Flaxseed You feel useless because it seems as if there is nothing you can do.

There is - hang on - be there for her as long as you can and if there comes a time when you can't, let professionals take over until she's well. Then support her again.

I lived through many years with a beloved schizophrenic husband, with no one to help and no respite from delusions and hallucinations....and I had two small boys to look after.
I wanted the problem solved, preferably soon, but I was asking the impossible.

I believe your daughter will recover because it's a specific situation, one she's now safe from, which sent her over the edge.
But it'll take time and patience and infinite amounts of love - which clearly you have.

My thoughts and prayers are with you - don't neglect your own health.

Flaxseed, it's utterly exhausting isn't it? And scary, and unpredictable and worrying....But, hold on and there will be a time when the immediate crisis is over. It's been my experience (personal and professional) that that's when it sometimes hits hardest, when you don't have to cope with just getting through the days, but have time to process what's happened and it can catch you out physically and emotionally.
On a practical note, I found that I had to quickly become an advocate and determine ways to get the best possible treatment/care for my mentally ill relatives. I have become something of an expert as four close members of our family have been dogged by mental illness of one sort or another. There is not much I don't know about accessing services for people with depression or schizophrenia now.

Check out the page below, if you haven't already come across it.
www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/hypomania-and-mania/for-friends-and-family/#.XEJsE826LIU

Such a shock Flaxseed to have your daughter so ill. I hope she continues to improve. A word of caution here, don't care for her at home to the detriment of your own health and that of the rest of the family. As momb said she could have a very low period during her recovery and will need you then. Take help where it is offered, things will improve I know.

My thoughts are with you and your family during this awful time. You are doing all that you can to help but I know how powerless you feel. Now that your daughter had been diagnosed and medicated hopefully the treatment will start to work quickly. Could it be the job itself which has caused the problems?

My own son went through an horrific breakdown last year - we are 200 miles away and felt totally unable to help other than frequent trips to visit and talking on the phone and messaging. We were frantic with worry as were his wife and daughters. Most of it was job related and he had to leave. With medication and the relief from the work stresses he has thankfully recovered and now in a much less stressful job. Could your daughter change hers?

I have no advice or experience to offer but can feel your pain so I'd just like to send you a hug. Keep talking to gn!

I don’t have any real advice. I just couldn’t pass by with out send words of support. You can and you will be a tower of strength for your daughter. The one thing that is helping me now and in the past is to off load all my fear and sadness here. We carry a heavy emotional burden that often can’t be shared with those we love for fear of upsetting our freinds and family. It help to just release our own overwhelming emotions. I wish your daughter a full speedy recovery. Hold on in there and look after yourself.

So sorry to read of your daughter's m.h. problems Flaxseed. My personal/professional experience helps me understand your determination to care for your daughter at home. As others have said though, hospital can play a positive part. Best wishes.

I went through this with my mother when I was first married. They wanted to hospitalise her but my Dad wanted her at home. It was a long struggle and I used to dread the phone ringing because I could not be there all the time but she recovered and it did not re-occur.

I feel your pain and understand how you are feeling. I know you are still in shock that this could happen but as you said there is a slight improvement in just a few days. This should continue now she is removed from the stress.

Sending you lots of hugs and support. You will all get through this x

A horrible situation for you but please Flaxseed do not write off all mental health help because of what you hear MIND can be a very useful and helpful organisation NHS Mental health can be worryingly different area to area but we only ever hear the bad stories we had huge headlines that our MH trust was in special measures but there was no huge headlines to say it was the management that was in deficit and that actually the community mental health division was in the excellent category
Stay strong and all good wishes to you and your family

Hello Flaxseed. I just read through the posts again, and I see BlueBell has just mentioned MIND. Their website is very informative, and you can email them about concerns and they will get back to you. I wrote to them about a legal matter, they passed it one to their Legal Team and a Barrister got back to me and gave me a clear insight into what I was worried about. It is worth using them.

Keep strong, one day at a time, look after yourself and as Annie said, your daughter is still there under all of this.

So very sorry Flaxseed for what you and your family are going through.Your family sound wonderful and supportive, accept their help with practical things too and get some rest when you can

Flaxseed I have just read your heartbreaking post, and the replies that you have had. I cannot offer any help or suggestions apart from that my prayers and thoughts are with you.
As others have said, keep offloading here, and know that your GN friends are with you all the way. God bless.

Bradford lass
We did get to a stage Tuesday night where we almost called an ambulance. It was terrible to see. That was after her first dose of meds and I was worried they had made her worse but in truth, they were hardly in her blood stream at this point. At that point she hadn’t slept for 5 nights as her brain was in overdrive. She finally slept for 12 hours that night and there was an improvement the next morning.
I admire the fact you looked after 2 boys whilst looking after your lovely husband too. That must have been so hard.
Thank you for sharing your story.
I don’t feel like eating, but I am managing small and often. I am going to Drs on Tuesday to get a sick note to allow me to be off. There’s no way I can concentrate on my job.
Grannyactivist I am ok whilst I have to cope (I guess I run on adrenaline) but I know I’ll find it hard when I eventually go home.
I stayed with DD2 when she was very poorly having my DGS. I went on autopilot but kept having flashbacks after and was constantly thinking ‘what if’
It took me a while to get through that but I did. And I can do it again.
Thanks for the link. I have looked at it a few times this week.
willow I don’t think she can go back to her original role but I like to think her company will find her something suitable. They are a good company, think highly of DD and are devastated by this too.

Thanks for all the wonderful messages on here and privately and sorry I can’t acknowledge you all.
I do feel better this morning, we all slept well and DD is up eating bacon sandwiches and wanting to watch some tv which is an improvement

My heart goes out to you and your DD Flaxseed You were both in my thoughts last night, hoping that you had managed to sleep, especially your DD which is a positive sign.

Your instinct, understandably is to put your DD’s needs first but your needs are important too as in eating and resting whenever you can.

I sincerely hope signs of improvement become stronger each day ?

That sounds good yesterday morning Flaxseed. Gradually now the stress is removed from her life she should improve. Knowing the cause is the main battle.

I hope the improvement continues.

Flaxseed I am so sorry you're going through this. I can't begin to imagine the worry. I have no experience of this, and no advice to offer, but just wanted to say that you are all in my thoughts and prayers .

Another one who has had you on her mind all night. I am relieved on returning to the forum to read that things are a little improved this morning.

What an awful thing for anyone to go through. I wish your daughter well.
Try to make sure that what you do eat is the good stuff. It is so easy to eat junk at times like this . It may sound selfish but it isn't but make your priority yourself so you can be well to help your daughter and her family but also make sure you get some time for yourself too.

The most vital road to your daughter's recovery ( and she will recover ) is the involvement of a loving family. I can't stress enough that being surrounded by all of you, plus her meds of course will pay dividends.
The experience all round including your daughter's has been a harrowing one but it will pass given time.
Meds usually take about 6 weeks before the benefit of them kicks in, but you will slowly see a difference as they work their " magic ".

The main thing now Flaxseed is that you try and get yourself back off that knife-edge by doing what you've been doing and taking a step at a time and eating little and often until your appetite returns, as it will as soon as your daughter begins to improve.

I wish you all well. Keep up the good work you're all doing marvellously. x You'll get through this, honestly.

I am terribly sorry to hear this news. I wouldn't dismiss a period in hospital/respite/care for your daughter.

Of course you are very very upset and concerned but sometimes some " time out" can be helpful for all concerned.

Also, although we all know healthy eating is best, I would have whatever you like and not even give it a thought.

She sounds really really ill and TBH I think it sounds like she needs to be in hospital.

If someone was that acutely unwell in another way with a non mental disease you wouldn't have a bash at dealing with it at home.

What alarms me in your posts is that when people in acute mental crisis start appearing better too soon it is often because they are planning or hiding something from their nearest and dearest and you are not qualified to spot this as a warning, not least because you are too close and involved.

I speak from experience. If you are close to the person you can support either side of the crisis but crisis care should be done by qualified professionals.

Same as any other kind of medical emergency

My daughter had severe depression which was awful to see ,when she tried to jump from a window we knew we had to take whatever help was offered.She was admitted for just 48 hours to be properly assesed and then her medication was adjusted .Thankfully it helped but she has had periods of deep depression ever since.

Our biggest worry was when she got pregnant ,so I let her job share with me while I looked after baby and her Dad was around her during the day at work.That way we could keep a close eye on her.
Dont dismiss help by professionals ,I know the service is under seige but they do great work .Once they see she is in a secure place mentally then you can take over but having her at home might not be the best option for her EVEN if she doesn't want to be hospitalised .I wish you well with this ,its the hardest thing to watch your child struggle with MH issues .As others have said ,you need to get rest and eat ,,because if you dont you wont be fit to look after her .